Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 23, 2008

Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2008

We have a great deal to be thankful for this year.  A president-elect smart enough not to stand in front of a turkey slaughter for a news conference ranks right up there on my list.  And speaking of which, the first time I watched that interview with Sarah Palin, I paid more attention to the turkey being slaughtered than I did to the idiot talking turkey.  So I got to see it on the news shows this weekend and my God but that woman is stupid.  My favorite part was when she started talking about the effects of dropping oil prices on the Alaskan economy.  Seems she likes a diversified state economy about as much as she likes a diversified political party.  With all do respect to my dear friends in Alaska, you axed the wrong turkey this year.

I am also thankful for my family.  I love each and every member. And now I have about a million more of you to be thankful for.  You’ve given me and Margaret a new lease on life.  Thank you.  Margaret is off to Vermont to spend the holidays with family.  She sends her love.

So on to my family letter for Thanksgiving.  It may seem harsh to some of you – heck my not wanting to see a 4 year old breast feed seemed harsh to some of you – but the family keeps coming back each year so I must not be all that bad.  I learned years ago that you should say what you mean.  To do any less is an insult to your loved ones. 

Dear Family,

Now every year we go through this song and dance about who is going to be where for the holidays.  Clearly this year many of you are afraid that Harold’s precious Longhorns are going to beat the crap out of your precious little Aggies.  And because of that a few of you have made alternative plans for Thanksgiving.  Well, I have this to say about that.  I am almost 83.  How much you love me is indeed determined by how often you visit during the year.  And how much I love you determines the amount of presents you’ll have under my Christmas tree next month.

Evidently horseshoes and washers aren’t exciting enough so Tyler and Jennifer have decided to take the kids to Disney World with their neighbors.   I hope Disney is the gift that keeps on giving because there will definitely be a small pile under the tree for you two.   Not to worry about Brian and Sylvia.  They’ll be taken care of because they really didn’t have a choice in the matter.  But if I hear one word about how good the turkey dinner is at the Magic Kingdom, all that could change.  Tags on gifts are like channels on the television.  They change when I don’t like what I see.

Harvey and Trudy are headed to Dallas.  One of the kids gets married and suddenly you’re a family unit that just can’t be separated for the holidays.  Oh brother!  Well I hope all the wedding bills have been paid because that special envelope in the stockings just got post-dated until next year.

To everyone coming I say welcome.  I think last year went pretty well considering Mary was pregnant and ate us out of house and home.  Someone bring an extra ham in case she is still eating for three or four or eight.  Harvey is not coming this year so no need to bring extra beer.

Remember there are a few house rules:

#1 If you put it on your plate, it better end up in your mouth.  Last year I threw away enough food to feed the population of Wasilla.  That is just wasteful.

#2 If you pop a top on a can of soda, please drink the entire can before popping another top.  Last year after you left I found 32 half empty cans of soda around the house and my drink refrigerator out back was almost empty.  What idiot really thinks that is appropriate?  Besides being such a waste, I can’t just throw those cans into the recycle bin.  I have to empty each one of them down the drain before I can throw them out.  And while I am on the subject, I put coasters out for a reason.

#3  Our trash pick up is the day before Thanksgiving.  If you bring a kid in diapers, leave with the kid and the diapers. I don’t need used diapers stinking up my garage until the trash men come the following week.

#4  If I told any of you not to feel like you needed to bring anything, what I really meant to say is don’t bring anything.  Last year Aunt Cloe’s jello mess just ruined my entire presentation.  And more than a few of you felt you needed to try it to make her feel better.  What you didn’t realize is that more than a few of you used my dogs to correct your mistake.  Poor babies were sick for days.  

#5  Speaking of dogs.  Yours has a home.  Leave it there.

#6  I don’t own a trampoline.  It’s called a sofa.  Your feet have no business being on it.

#7 The good china and crystal is not for family.  It’s for special occasions.

Now all that said, you know I love you.  Come and enjoy yourselves.  We’re having the usual turkey, stuffing, gravy, ham, mashed potatoes, candied yams, cranberries, corn, green bean casserole, peas, rolls, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, apple pie and Maw Maw’s German twist cookies.

Matthew feel free to bring those stuffed jalapenos we enjoyed so much last year.   Of course, two hours after you left your Grandfather was reminded that he enjoyed them a little too much so don’t feel like you need to bring as many.

Eat until you are full and then take some home with you.  Harold says they moved the game back to Thanksgiving day instead of the day after so all of you can stay and watch it on that new big TV in his den.  As for me, quilting lessons are free of charge if anyone is interested.

See you soon and don’t park in the driveway.  The kids use it to play basketball.

[Note From Matthew:  Yes.  This is the letter she sent out this year.  My Grandmother is famous for her holiday letters to the family because she really hates those traditional ones people send out with their Christmas cards.  To read the letter she sent out last year click here. ]

227 Comments

Posted in Texas | Tags: ,

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 21, 2008

Got Milk?

Believe it or not folks but one of our readers has asked us to please write about the importance of breastfeeding.  At first I laughed because why would someone ask a couple of old bags about that? And Margaret only has dogs and a bird so I don’t know if she even has an opion about this.  Unless of course one of the dogs breast fed that damn bird. But this person has now sent several emails including information about the La Leche League.  For those of you who don’t know La Leche is a group that promotes breastfeeding.  Pardon the pun but I have a mouthful to say on that…

helen-mug1 From Helen
If I had a dime for every exposed breast I have seen recently, I’d have about a buck-fifty.  And I don’t hang out at those nude beaches that have become so popular.  What I am talking about here is public breast feeding.  One of the women in my quilting group has three daughters.  I can’t remember a time in recent memory when one of them wasn’t pregnant. The last time we were at her house, her youngest daughter was there with her three boys.   So in the middle of quilting I look over and she’s sitting there fully exposed feeding the baby.  In my day, you left the room and came back about 20 minutes later -often times  wearing your blouse inside out by mistake. But times have changed so I just looked away.  But then her four year old came into the room and said, “ChiChi Momma.  ChiChi”  And I wouldn’t have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes, but the four year old reached up and grabbed his momma’s “ChiChi” and had himself a little milk with his cookies.  Well you could have knocked me over with a feather.

It seems that all three of her daughters are members of that La Leche group.  Well, I don’t know how far this group is willing to take it, but if a child is old enough to ask for it, their too old to see it.  And if a 4 year old ever grabs for one of my breasts their going to get their hand slapped.  Now a 44 year old is another story but don’t tell Harold I said that.

Breastfeeding is fine by me.  But putting it out there for everyone to see is like chewing with your mouth open.  It’s just not polite.   And that’s all I have to say about that.

margaret-mug1 From Margaret
First of all Helen, what did my bird ever do to you? 

Believe it or not dear, I have to agree with you 100% on this one.  I know they say breastfeeding is a natural bodily function, but so is a bowel movement.  You don’t see people dropping their drawers and doing that in the middle of your living room, now do you? 

For goodness sakes Helen.  Let me pick the topic next time.  That’s it.  I’m done.

Now keep safe this coming holiday.  Thanks for stopping by again.  I mean it.  Really.

285 Comments

Posted in Maine, Texas | Tags:

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 19, 2008

Money, Guns and Sex

Margaret read a comment about something happening in Nebraska with parents dropping off their kids at hospitals based on some new safe haven law.  We were going to write something about it, but all I could come up with is how do I get Harold to Nebraska.  Margaret, however, had a great idea.  Can we extend that law to include dropping off politicians?  In truth we hear that the law will be changed to specify infants only.  It’s sad really because we are talking about children, but we really don’t know enough about the subject to have an educated opinion… not that we ever really let that stop us.  Instead we decided to tackle something easier – universal healthcare.

helen-mug1 FROM HELEN:
Has it occurred to anyone else that the Republican party has become the party of money, guns and sex? It seems to be the only things they think about.  Who is having sex with who?  How much are my taxes?  Keep your hands off my guns.  I really think they would explode if a gay couple used their tax refund to purchase an AKA assault rifle.  They  wouldn’t know whether to hate the sinner or compliment the sin.  All the problems we have in the world and this is what we are wasting our time worrying about.  Squeaky wheel folks… squeaky wheel gets the oil.

Imagine what the Religious Right Wing of the Republican party could have done if they had used their supposed Christian morality to squeak about helping the poor.  They could have swept the election if someone had said  something like: As Christians we think Christ would want us to tend to the suffering of the poor so universal health care is important to us.  And money is no object.  We will gladly share some of our riches to help the least among us. 

My God but what a unified electorate that would have been.

But no.  Instead they hitched their star to Joe the Plumber who was worried not about sharing the money he had, but rather about sharing the money that he might one day have.  I mean those Republicans are so greedy they are hoarding the wealth they haven’t even amassed yet.  Twins I tell you.  There is no telling them apart from Jesus.  It’s like looking in a mirror.  Of course the mirror is at a carnival fun house but mirror none the less.

It is just so interesting to me that the voters who most value religious freedom seem to be the most willing to embrace religious values, while the voters who claim to be the most religious are clearly the least. Don’t get me wrong.  There are lots well-intentioned, good hearted Christians out there.  We just don’t seem to be squeaking loud enough.  We’ve known for years that we have a health care problem.  Bill used Hilary Clinton to try and address it back in 1992.  Do you realize that was 16 years ago?  Republicans squeaked that it was Government-run healthcare and it would bankrupt our county.  So millions of families continued to live without adequate healthcare while the government swept the whole mess under the rug.  Suddenly banks and auto industries are having trouble and money seems to be growing on trees.  Says a great deal about our priorities. 

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  Waiting until a child is so sick that the emergency room is the only option or worse yet, using the emergency room because you can’t get in to see a doctor is a recipe for disaster.  I know many of you will say it is not that easy.  It is more complicated than that.  Well crap on that.  I say it is that easy.  Years ago we decided to go to the moon.  We made it a priority and to the moon we went.  Around that same time I remember my children watching a space show on TV.. Star Wars or Star Trek or something like that.  I remember the characters held little boxes in their hand and talked to one another from wherever they happened to be.  Recently I have noticed a lot of people walking around with little boxes in their hand talking to everyone everywhere. My son tells me those little boxes are called I Phones. My point is that if we dream it we can do it.  If we make it a priority smart people can work out all the problems and come up with a solution.  So why wouldn’t we want to make sure that no one in this great country of ours ever has to choose between food on the table or medicine for a child?

Priorities people.  Priorities.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET:
Helen, dear, I often wonder if you yell “Damn Republicans!” in your sleep at night. Remind me to ask your Harold next time I see him. I do hope, for the sake of your blood pressure, that the next few years of our new administration will bring much joy and peace to your many political battles. Battles that have been well fought on your part, I might add.

I’m so glad that you have decided to set your sights on the healthcare issue. It is important. It is. But could somebody please explain to me why the pharmaceutical companies feel it to be so necessary to advertise on television as much as they do? I just believe there are certain things that should be kept private between you and your doctor. And Lord knows I have lost count of the number of times my Howard has sat there and watched a drug commercial then announced to the world that he has whatever ailment that was just described. This, of course, leads to a phone call to schedule yet another appointment with the doctor. This is my world, dear, welcome to it.

One more thing then I’m done. I enjoy watching golf on television. Call me silly, but I do. What I don’t enjoy are the eight or nine Viagra commercials I have to endure to watch my golf. Honestly, if our society focused on other issues as much as they do on erectile dysfunction we could actually accomplish something. Staying focused. I think that is the answer. Surely there is a pill for that.

I know, Helen, I know. I’ve gone “off message” as they say. Does that make me a maverick, dear? That’s it. I’m done.

Thanks again everyone.  Your dropping by makes our day.  I mean it.  Really.

150 Comments

Posted in Maine, Texas | Tags: , , , ,

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 16, 2008

Government Cheese of a Different Kind

So many of you kept wanting us to talk about Sarah Palin.  Sorry, but I have tuned her out.  If I want to hear an ass talk I can just ask Harold to pass gas.  And speaking of gas, several of you asked about the Auto Industry Bailout.  At first we thought “How Boring” but then Harold showed me his credit card bill from Exxon and that got us going…

helen-mug1 FROM HELEN:
So the oil companies are once again boasting record profits and yet the auto makers are asking for some government cheese.  Does anyone else see the irony here?  So I’ve got a little trickle down theory of my own.  As long as Detroit continues to make cars for the Gas-Capades let the oil companies bail them out.  It’s a  “robbing Peter to pay Paul” kind of thing except in this case Peter and Paul seem to be riding the short bus…  and it’s not to save on gas.

Is anyone else as pissed about all of this as I am?  Eight years ago – 8 YEARS AGO – a brilliant politician who was asking for your vote to become President said this: “We can have a next-stage prosperity where you don’t have to build your lives around a fuel source that is distant, uncertain and easily manipulated. We will demand and develop new technologies to free ourselves from gas-tank price-gouging, and we will sell those technologies to the world. We’ll build a new generation of fuel-efficient vehicles — and then make it easy for families to afford them.“   And that politician, Al Gore, received the majority of votes in the nation and then the Supreme Court told the nation to sit down and shut up.

OK.  Now I am all worked up again.  Republicans – each and every last one of you – need to reach for the nearest gas pump and then promptly stick it so far up your ass that only Sarah Palin’s “Pipeline From Jesus” can find it.  How could you do this to us?  An idiot.  You put an idiot in charge of things and sat by for EIGHT years while the nation and the world fell apart. And if that wasn’t enough, 58 million of you wanted to replace Laurel with Hardy as the next president.  Sweet Jesus if I could jump through this computer screen and slap the crap out of 58 million of you I would.

Everyday is precious.  EVERYDAY.   And we just pissed away 2,920.

Never again.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET:
Well, now Helen….I do see your point but please leave my Lincoln Town Car out of this. I love my big old town car. It makes me feel safe to have all that metal around me. Just the other day, I took a little ride in my nephew’s half gas half electricity “car”. I promise you I thought I was going to die. Is that really the future? If so, I pass, thank you very much. You can have the Clown car, I’ll keep my Town car. That’s all I have to say about that.

And there you go again about the Republicans. The damage is done, dear. Time to point that shot gun of yours at something new. There is plenty out there to aim at and plenty to pull the trigger over too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as upset about things as you are. My anger, however, is more local than global. Hasn’t that always been the way with us? Right now I am so angry at the manager of our grocery store. He moves things. I have been going down the same aisle for YEARS to get whatever it is that I am running in there to get and now, nothing. Gone. He moved it. And, no, Helen, I’m not just forgetting where things are. He has moved them around. Makes me so gosh darn mad.

Now, I also know what you are thinking, Helen, but this IS important to me. We can’t ALL keep up with the goings-on of our government and all things like that. I’ll leave that to you, dear. But what about the little problems that face most people everyday? I think these should be addressed as well. Even though I think we could probably fill this blog web page with pages and pages, but don’t worry, I won’t. Oh, and one last thing then I’m done. Just so that you all know. Helen can cuss the shine right off a nun’s shoulder. I can’t. Never have. Although I must admit, one of you commenters used the term “Ass Hat” the other day. Made me laugh so.  I kind of like it.  Not sure how to use it, but I do think there are times when such a term would do nicely.  In fact, there is a certain Grocery Manager I have in mind.  Thanks for that.

That’s it.  I’m done.

Well thanks for stopping by everyone.  We’re having fun and hope you are too.  Come back soon.  We mean it.  Really.

235 Comments

Posted in Maine, Texas | Tags: , ,

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 14, 2008

Now It Is Your Turn

Last month I called Sarah Palin a bitch.  Oh my, what was I thinking?  Oh yes, I was thinking she was a bitch.  Of course, I thought that I was only saying it to my dear friend Margaret.  But then all of you showed up – all 900,000 of you.  My goodness.  Who knew?  What a hoot.

Now, as a proper Southern lady, I did the only thing I knew how to do.  I put out cake and iced tea and tried to make you all feel welcome.   Well… except for an idiot Realtor who got under my skin [see post titled “Idiots are so easy to spot…”]  You know, I thought it was pretty silly that she kept coming back for more, but that was her choice.  Idiots do what idiots do.

But now I seem to be running out of cake.  It was so easy during the election.  Each day I just woke up and turned on the TV to see what the bitch, the ass, the jackass, the moron and that other one were doing and then I wrote something.  It was like shooting fish in a barrel.

Now that the election is behind us I have tried my best to keep up the hospitality, but watching The View everyday is too much to ask.  I mean I love you and all but that show is torture.  I had no idea what Proposition 8 was all about but so many of you left comments that I knew I needed to respond.  Who knew that while the Straight Talk Express was attacking Un-Americans,  a bunch of Mormons were attacking the Un-Mormons.  Sad.  Just sad.

So Margaret and I have been talking and we wanted you to know that we have enjoyed your comments – your conversation – as much as you seem to be enjoying ours. In that spirit we have asked my grandson to add a page where you can leave ideas and ask questions for us to write about on this web page blog.

But be warned.  We are not Dear Abby or that other one – her sister.  We call ’em as we see ’em.  We won’t hold back no matter how much we like you!

Thanks for stopping by and thanks for leaving a comment.  We mean it.  Really.

156 Comments

Posted in Maine, Texas

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 11, 2008

The View Needs Glasses (Prop 8)

Ignorance is bliss… unless we are talking about someone else’s ignorance.  And in this case we are.  I will be the first to admit that my talking about gay marriage – or gay anything – is like Sarah Palin musing on the global ramifications of power struggles in the Middle East.  It will most likely be a Katie Couric moment but here we go…

If marriage is an institution supported by this country then it must be made available to all of its citizens according to the law.  If however, it is strictly a religious institution then a constitutional amendment determining who can and cannot have access to it is sort of missing the point.  Religious freedom except for people who are not religious is a mutually exclusive concept.  And if we keep going down this path the concept of a Christ-like Christian will become an oxymoron.  And speaking of moron…

I have had it with The View and I blame Barbara Walters.  First she allows Elisabeth to be the voice of fear and war and then magically on Wednesday after the election all of it is immediately forgotten and forgiven. It is painfully obvious that Elisabeth’s opinions are not her own but rather the talking points being given to her to fit the part.  OK.  I don’t like it but I can excuse it because Elisabeth comes by her hate honestly.  She knows exactly what she is doing and in her world being young, blonde and married to a football star gives her permission to be a bitch.  What does she care?  Her children will be able to buy their way out of any problem.  By the way, Harold says she’s not married to the good football player… his brother is the good one.  I wouldn’t know.  I just know the football player who married Elisabeth went for a Hail Mary pass and ended up with just a pass to hell.

But now we’ve got that Cherry, Cheryl, Seymour… I really don’t care what her name is. Yesterday she admitted that while she does have an issue with gay marriage for spiritual reasons, she really wasn’t sure about all the facts and hadn’t really read much about it.  Oh, but the idiot did mention that she was still looking for the perfect gravy boat for Ellen and Portia.  OK.  You know what?  When you are given a national platform on a TV show called The View, being too lazy to do some research isn’t an acceptable excuse.   And when people’s rights are being taken away, your attempt at humor is insulting.  I’m sure Ellen found the gravy boat comment comforting.  Try opening a newspaper between reruns of Friends you lazy good for nothing because the show you are a part of is supposedly about well-informed, intelligent women discussing current issues.  Little Cheryl having a vagina suggests that one out of three is qualification enough.  She is making women everywhere look bad and Barbara Walters should have a little more respect for her audience than to allow this to go on any longer.

I haven’t had a whole lot to say about this issue because to be quite honest, I come from a generation that really never talked about it. But then Margaret’s nephew reminded me that lots of people are reading this blog so I need to educate myself.

It seems to me that the loudest Christians have suddenly become the most un-Christ-like people.  And my sincere apologies to those good-hearted Christians who have found themselves caught in the crosshairs.  You know, Harold is a Catholic.  How would all of you feel about a constitutional amendment banning meat on Fridays?  How about banning dancing because Baptist seem to have two left feet?  And how about birth control?  A lot of religions don’t allow it.  I wonder how little Cherry from The View would feel about a constitutional amendment banning that? 

If you want to protect Holy Wedlock, by all means padlock the church door whenever guys who love Judy Garland come-a-knocking.  But if you want to protect marriage push for a constitutional amendment to ban divorce.

But let’s step away from the church and state argument for a second.  I posted yesterday that love is about the heart not the body.  Trust me, if it was about the body a lot of us would be in a world of trouble.  You can’t legislate love between two consenting adults.  You just can’t no matter how hard you try.  If you want to save marriage, marry someone you love.   And that’s all I have to say about that.

We are working on something new for this blog that we hope you will like.  Until then, thanks for stopping by.  I mean it.  Really.

411 Comments

Posted in Texas | Tags: , , , , , ,

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 10, 2008

There’s always next time…

Life is short.  You realize that even more when you are old.  I have said before that in dog years I am already dead.  So each morning when I wake up there is a brief moment until I realize that I still need my glasses to see the clock before realizing I must still be in this old body of mine…  Then I turn and put a mirror under Harold’s nose to determine if I still need to put on my make-up and do my hair.

As a parent you eventually come to accept that one day your children and family members will have to continue on without you.  And you spend much of your life thinking that you are preparing them for that moment only to realize that you are really just preparing yourself.  Have I left them with a brighter future and a better world?  You certainly hope so and knowing so makes each day a little easier.  So imagine my shock when about 8 years ago the village idiot was suddenly running the show.    Panic set in.  My God what if I go tomorrow and that jackass screws things up and suddenly my children and grandchildren are left to clean up the mess.

Folks, I may not be here next time so I want you to remember this.  You really should strive for a Presidential nominee who is smarter than you… someone who understands you but doesn’t necessarily need to have a beer with you.  Strive for a Renaisance man… someone who knows that Walt Whitman wasn’t a guy who made chocolate candy.  And a good rule of thumb from this point forward: someone who fully understands that the Flintstones isn’t a documentary.  

We are a large, diverse country but we live in an even larger, more diverse world.  No President ever has a mandate.  Even the least among us need to be heard, and if possible, helped.  Differences should be celebrated not feared.  I hope one day we all understand that love is not about the body; it is about the heart.  Think about it.

Margaret and I really do enjoy your comments and all the excitement around our silly little blog.  It is keeping us young so thank you.   We have an idea for the blog that we think you will enjoy.  Stay tuned… and thanks for stopping by.  We mean it.  Really.

[NOTE FROM MATTHEW:  My grandmother wanted me to add this link to The Atticus Circle .  She said that those of you leaving comments about Proposition 8 might be interested in this organization.]

129 Comments

Posted in Texas | Tags: ,

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 7, 2008

Idiots are so easy to spot

Here you go folks.  The perfect example of Republican idiots.  See them talk about how a lot of money in their pockets excuses war, corruption, lies, torture and everything else that has happened this past 8 years.  See them use racist statements to suggest they are not racist.  Watch how they suggest that their taxes go to support someone else rather than the roads, schools, police and miltary they count on.  Don’t get too close.  They might bite.  And for God’s sake, don’t feed them.

Comment posted on 11/6/08 :

I know this will be quite unpopular here on this site but I DO think John McCain had a tough hill to climb….let’s face it, following behind a Republican president of 8 years with what, a 26% approval rating? isn’t going to be easy. Then of course there is the financial meltdown and frankly, it was all over then and there. Everyone wants to put 100% of the blame on Bush even though we have had a Democratic Congress for the last 2 years. Really, in MY middle class American life things were GREAT up until about 2 years ago when the real estate market started to decline then it all went down hill from there (I am a full time Realtor). I don’t know how people can say 8 years under Bush was so horrible….it wasn’t for me. I was out there working and selling and I made more money in the last 8 years than I have any other time in my LIFE. Of course, that may all be over soon….I will have to wait and see if I will have to share my wealth with someone else….

But let’s not kid ourselves here, there were PLENTY of people who voted for Barak simply BECAUSE he was black. I heard Howard Stern down in Harlem and people went on and on about how they approved of Obama’s policies of right to life and staying in the war until we win. They even loved his pick of Sarah Palin as VP! It was UNREAL! Those people interviewed had NO IDEA what he stood for or what his policy was but by God they were going to see him right into the White House……ignorant.

Yes, America has spoken and I am happy to support my new President and pray for him and for our country. Even though I voted for McCain there is a part of me that is glad Obama won. If he had lost I would have to listen to 4 years of how this country is so racist and how we “stole” the election (that sound familiar?)…whatever….frankly I feared there would be riots and other violence since that seems to be what happens when radical liberals don’t get their way…I hope I am proven wrong and he does all these great and wonderful things 1/2 the country bought into…..I will be first in line to stand up and say I was wrong and that he is an awesome dude……

Thanks for stopping by.  Even idiots are welcome to leave a comment.  I mean it.  Really.

358 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 6, 2008

Blowing Off Steam

Hello Margaret. I tried calling you last night but you didn’t answer.  I swear every time a squirrel goes looking for a nut up there in Maine you lose your phone service.

I just don’t understand how your Howard can listen to that Rush Limbaugh each day.  I tuned into him yesterday and couldn’t believe it.  I mean, I know he is a Republican mouthpiece, I just didn’t realize we were dealing with Hoof and Mouth Disease.

Ask Howard to follow the logic of his argument today if you can.  He said Republicans lost because they didn’t stick to their core values.  They tried to be nice and tell people that they aren’t racists, bigots and homophobes.  Once the Republicans got soft and started trying to be compassionate they began to lose.  That is the problem with Republicans right now according to Rush.  As proof he pontificated that conservative initiatives passed on the ballots. 

So let me see if I understand.  If Republicans would just admit that they are racists, bigots and homophobes and stop trying to be nice, they would win more elections.  And the conservative movement which stands for less government was somehow validated because California, Florida, Arizona and Arkansas just forced government even farther into people’s bedrooms?  And yet all of the conservative pro-life measures (the bread and butter issue for most of that group) failed to pass.  So basically the conservative movement has been reduced to Anita Bryant’s diary.  My, my but how they love their aging beauty queens… and we all know that beauty queens are the brightest bulbs on the chandelier.

Wow.  I guess all the drugs Limbaugh takes have finally eaten away most of the gray matter that was stored in that fat head of his.

Oh and then there was that other guy – can’t remember his name – who actually went on and on about how steep the hill was for McCain and it was amazing how well he did.  Steep hill?  The other guy was a black man named Barack Hussein Obama.   But McCain had the steep hill.   I am at a loss on that one.  You know, they can’t win with grace and they can’t lose with grace.  Remind me again what we like about Howard?  Oh that’s right.  He cooks.  At least there’s that.  And he tolerates me so I guess he can’t be all bad.

Harold must have heard me screaming bullshit and asshole at the radio because he surprised me with two tickets to see Dame Edna at our favorite theater in Austin for this Saturday.  He said I needed a little break and remembered that you and Howard loved Dame Edna when you saw her in New York a few years ago.   Isn’t that the show you told us about?  I hope so.

I hope you will plan a visit soon.  We really do need to visit and laugh about all this blog stuff.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 5, 2008

The Company We Keep

For the most part, this old lady feels pretty good. 

As I sit here in the middle of my red state, I envy Margaret up there in her blue one.  Yes.  She voted for Obama – and told Howard to cook his own dinner.  Of course I didn’t expect the whole nation would turn blue, but it amazes me to think that 55+ million Americans were able to cast a vote that might have made Sarah Palin (Vice) President.  We have come a long way, but we still have much work to do.

I feel good, but I will feel even better when people turn their radios off when Rush Limbaugh comes on.

I feel good, but I will feel even better when Ann Coulter doesn’t have a book on the best seller list.

I feel good, but I will feel even better when Barbara Walters slaps the crap out of Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

What a ride! Thanks for stopping by everyone.  Go out and dance in the streets because YES WE DID.  I mean it.  Really.

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