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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 8, 2018

Republicans are nuttier than squirrel shit. #ThursdayThoughts

Margaret, if you want to know just how deplorable Trumpsters are, this week they elected two indicted criminals, a Nazi and a dead brothel owner.  And the fact that most people reading this are asking themselves “which Nazi?” is just bat shit crazy.  To be honest, it could have been multiple Nazis, but it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference between a GOP Congressman and a Nazi these days. Some might be just your run-of-the-mill racists. You know what they say about old, white men standing in front of a flag, pledging allegiance to Donald Trump… they all look alike.

A dead brothel owner.  I’m sorry.  I just had to say that again. The party of family values elected a dead pimp. Bless their hearts but Republicans are nuttier than squirrel shit.

Now, I know that some of you Democrats out there, especially in Florida, Georgia and Texas, are filling a bit blue today and not in a good Blue Wave way. We’re feeling blue because we fell in love with Andrew, Beto and Stacey and hoped that racists in red states would be standing in line at a Cracker Barrel instead of a polling station.  Damn you Cracker Barrel! What happened to your all-you-can-eat chicken fried opossum steak on Tuesdays?

Honestly, it was going to be an uphill battle and we got a bit ahead of ourselves. After all, this is Florida, Georgia and Texas we are talking about. They are GOP red mixed with a little scarlet, crimson, cardinal, ruby, magenta, brick, carmine, rose, vermilion, cerise, coral, and burgundy. The fact that Beto was even in the hunt and the other two are still too close to call is pretty amazing.  Sure, it stung. But we really do have a great deal to celebrate. We took back the House. Our wave was big enough to overcome gerrymandering and voter suppression, sending several hundred state and federal members of the GOP packing.

If you are feeling a bit down, maybe this will pick you up. Here are a few of my favorite casualties:

Karen Handel.  Remember her? This homophobic, she-devil in wolf’s clothing managed to destroy the otherwise stellar reputation of the Susan G Komen Foundation when she picked a fight with Planned Parenthood.  Komen recovered somewhat but it never returned to its former glory. Well, now a Democrat in Georgia named Lucy McBath is my new favorite person and Georgia’s 6th Congressional District’s newest Representative.  Kiss my ass Karen. The only organization I liked more than Komen was Planned Parenthood and you damaged one in order to attack the other.  Don’t mess with Planned Parenthood. Ever. By the way, McBath ran on more gun control… in Georgia.

Kim Davis.  This walking hairball in need of a hairstyle became famous in Kentucky for refusing to give marriage licenses to same sex couples, claiming Jesus told her to hate people. She then crashed a party pretending to be the Pope’s BFF and became the white trash darling for white trash religious nutjobs everywhere when she traveled to Romania to fight gay marriage there.  Wait.  What?  Listen, folks.  The cheese slid off this gal’s cracker years ago. Thank goodness that Kentucky Democrats dropped a house on Kim.  To be honest, she lost by less than 700 votes, but that was to be expected considering she was related to, married to, divorced by and otherwise had children out of wedlock with a sizable percentage of the male voting population in the county.  Hypocrisy is what the GOP now calls a family value.

Jason Lewis.  I bet you don’t remember this asshat from Minnesota’s 2nd Congressional District unless you’re a slut… I mean a woman… I mean a slut.  Lewis complained that political correctness had gotten so bad that he couldn’t even call a woman a slut anymore without getting in trouble. He lost to Democrat Angie Craig.  I don’t know you Angie, but I love you regardless of what Jason is most assuredly calling you at this moment.

Jack Phillips.  He’s probably the most famous baker in Colorado, but not because his cakes taste good, bad or otherwise.   Jack is the Colorado Baker who refused to bake a cake for a gay couple and took his argument all the way to the Supreme Court.  He then tried to sue the Governor of Colorado because he didn’t want to bake a pink and blue cake for a transgender woman. Guess what?  Jack now has a new Governor in Colorado.  His name is Jared Polis and he’s gay.  Please, please, please Governor Polis, order your inauguration cake from Jack if for no other reason than shits and giggles.

Kevin Yoder.  I know nothing about this congressman from Kansas except he was a Republican in Kansas, which is rarely a good thing. He lost to a Native American woman named Sharice Davids. Now Sharice has a remarkable story and you should read about it.  But I don’t want to talk about that now because I am being a little selfish. I just want to sit a minute and imagine Donald Trump watching Fox News on Tuesday when they gave a Democratic pick up seat to a woman who happens to be Native American and who also happens to be a lesbian and a mixed, martial arts fighter.  Ah! Sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found thee…  Sharice honey, if you meet the President, please kick him where it counts.

Barbara Comstock.  When Florida Parkland Students came to talk to her about gun violence, she refused to meet with them.  Barbara lost to Democrat Jennifer Wexton.  Bye, bye Barbara. Don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.

Listen.  I was sad.  I wanted Beto as much as anyone.  I really did. But here in Texas we picked up so many down ballot Democrats because of Beto that I don’t think being sad is an appropriate way to remember Beto, or Stacey or Andrew.  And maybe its not even over for Stacey who is still fighting the good fight. Good luck Stacey.  Every vote counts. But no.  We can’t be down. We have just too much to be excited about.

  • Chairman Elijah Cummings, House Oversight Committee
  • Chairman Adam Schiff, House Intelligence Committee
  • Chairwoman Maxine Waters, House Financial Services Committee
  • Chairman Richard Neal, House Ways and Means Committee
  • Speaker Nancy Pelosi, the woman who gave us the Affordable Care Act the last time she had that title

That is huge.  We took back the House and turned a huge section of the country blue, while Trump kept Georgia, Florida and Texas red… barely.  We changed everything.  He changed nothing.

Maybe the Blue Wave wasn’t as big in some parts of the country as others. As it swept from east to west across the country like an invading army of immigrants… no wait.  As it swept from east to west, it hit patches of gerrymandering and mountains of voter suppression.  But it indeed swept across the country no matter how large or small it seemed at times.  One thing we know for sure, if left unchecked, Trump could bring out the worst in all of us.  And sadly, he’s proud of that. But then again, he’s an idiot.  The blue wave came, and it was big enough.  I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 1, 2018

Lindsey Graham Sets His Sights On Becoming First Lady

Margaret, did you know that women currently make up more than half the population in the US, but we are represented by a Congress made up of 80 percent men? Oh, and honey, it gets worse. Among other countries we are ranked 104th in the world when it comes to female representation in government. Five places behind Saudi Arabia! Hell, we’re almost 40 spots behind Iraq… Yes. You heard me: BEHIND IRAQ.

How long before men realize that women are their equals? After last week, we can probably make the argument that we are more than equal. Everyone of those GOP Senators expected an overly emotional, erratic and maybe even hysterical witness… and let me tell you Brett Kavanaugh did not disappoint. If I were Brett, I’d be worried that The Donald might now try to grab his pussy. Christine Ford managed to stay calm and respectful for 4 hours.   Brett couldn’t last 2 minutes before he came undone.  And speaking of undone, Lindsey Graham deserves an award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role for his portrayal of Donald Trump’s new girlfriend.  Move over Stormy Daniels. Hurricane Graham has arrived.

To be clear, Brett Kavanaugh is indeed innocent until proven guilty.  And it’s not search and destroy like Kavanaugh and Trump want us to believe.  It’s about making sure the truth comes out. Afterall, if there is nothing to find, then it doesn’t matter how hard you search.   When a woman finds the courage to speak about sexual assault, she deserves to be heard. And hearing her means taking the time to fully investigate in hopes of uncovering the truth.  And if that means men need to be a little scared, so be it. We women have been living scared all our lives. If you are worried for your sons, I have one piece of advice for you. Teach them to respect women.  Problem solved.

But I don’t even know why I am wasting my time writing this.  For the love of God, Republicans just elected a man who was videotaped bragging about assault. Are we really surprised they think a calendar showing exercise workouts during the 80’s is proof enough of innocence? If you are a Republican woman, I hope you are paying attention. It doesn’t matter how accomplished, how intelligent or how credible you are. You will be ignored, dismissed and even smeared if you stand between a Republican man and his path to power… regardless of what evidence you have or don’t have.  If it happens in their teens, it’s boys will be boys, and if it happens as adults, it’s just locker room talk.  Evidently Republicans are just fine electing men who sexually harass and assault women.

Honestly, how do Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins sleep at night? It’s been almost thirty years since the Anita Hill testimony, and we women continue to be ignored about sexual harassment, assault and rape at the hands of powerful men. There have been 52 total women in the United States Senate since its establishment in 1789.  And one of those women simply served for one day.  Until 2001, the most common way for a woman to become a US Senator was to be appointed following the death or resignation of a husband or father who previously held the seat.  Today there are 21 female Senators – 16 Democrats and 5 Republicans… well 6 depending on which column you place Lindsey Graham. Quite frankly, he lacks the humanity to be in either. Imagine how differently things could be if there were 50.

The late Governor Ann Richards liked to say, “Life isn’t one thing after another.  It’s the same damn thing over and over again.”  Well, I am tired of fighting this fight over and over again.  This November we have more women than ever running for elected office, and I for one plan to vote for them early and often. I mean it.

Margaret, I grew up on a farm in Georgia. We had more guns than silverware. To this day, I still have a gun in my house. By all means, if it helps to keep children from being murdered, come and take it. Unlike that Dana Loesch, I don’t need it that badly. Bless her heart, when you spew that much hate, I guess you go through life thinking everyone wants to do you harm. She really should try adding a little color to her wardrobe. And maybe smile more… or at least once.

We’ve talked about it long enough. We need to do something about America’s gun problem. But if we leave it up to those asshats at the Capitol, we’ll be building schools with one door where students are allowed to wear only a leotard while carrying their books in a clear ziplock baggie.

Making it all about a mental health crisis sounds reasonable… until you realize that mental health isn’t exclusive to the United States and statistically speaking doesn’t correspond with our proportionally higher rate of gun violence nor does it specifically apply on a case by case basis. Ouch. That hurt my head a little bit to think through. Maybe that’s why NRA Neanderthals settle for low hanging fruit like too many doors and trench coats.

Regardless, we shouldn’t need a school shooting to realize that mental healthcare should be as easy to access as your Twitter account, and likewise it should be affordable or even free. I think parents who don’t have the good sense to lock away their guns might be a good test sample group to start with, because that level of ignorance and irresponsibility has got to be some sort of mental issue.

And then there’s video games and violent movies. Now don’t get me started. I too think my grandchildren need to put away the electronics and get outside more. That kind of life only leads to fat backsides and skinny thumbs. But again, unlike little Dana Loesch and the NRA, violent images in games and in movies are not exclusive to America.

Speaking of Nuts R Allowed… Oliver North? Is that a joke or was Wayne LaPierre not generating idiotic ideas fast enough? “A culture of violence,” says the guy who sold guns to Iran in order to give money to people who tortured civilians and raped women including nuns and children. Yep. That guy. How about we require the NRA to build their headquarters with no entrances or exits?

You know what IS exclusive to the United States of America? The NRA, 42% of civilian guns, and an orange yeast infection wearing a MAGA hat.

Folks, it’s really not that difficult. Less guns equals less gun violence. And I call bullshit on anyone who claims differently. Facts are facts. Trench coats, video games, violent movies, social media, mental health and even doors exist beyond our borders. But a mass school shooting once a month has become as American as baseball and apple pie.

If you love your children, vote out any politician who takes money from the NRA. And start with Ted Cruz. Never Again must become more than just a hashtag. I mean it. Really

From Helen:

Margaret, I’ve really started to enjoy this whole Twitter thing. It’s short and sweet. And you know me honey, I’m nothing if I’m not fat and mean. No wait…

Anyway, I was looking around at all the different tweets and I came across one about Ann Coulter. My old nemesis has been pretty irrelevant for years, but I couldn’t resist because it just made me laugh. Someone tweeted the question: Does Ann Coulter have to be crated on Delta flights or could you make the case that she is a comfort pet? I’m going to say yes to the former, but no to the latter.

It got me wondering, however, about what Ann has been up to these days. Apparently she is using her 3rd grade writing skills to make the case that a mass deportation of immigrants would result in mass shootings being reduced by half. She likes the word mass. Me too. If we had a mass deportation of old, white racists, I bet we would see a mass decrease in Ann Coulter readers and probably a mass NRA membership reduction of about half. I’m sure the other half are responsible hunters who still think the NRA is about them. Unless of course they’re hunting deer with an AR-15. Then they are just assholes.

The NRA membership is less than 2% of the population and yet the NRA owns 100% of Republican politicians. They do not represent gun owners. They lobby to protect the profits of gun manufacturers. For heaven’s sake, more people have read our blog and Margaret and I are nobodies.

I don’t encourage you to read what Ann writes, but if you did I’m sure you would be scratching your head like me and asking yourself how does she do it. How does she make a living writing books when she is so absolutely terrible at it? Honestly, if 50 monkeys typed for 50 days hitting keys at random they would most definitely type three of her books.

Ann’s logic, or lack thereof, is that some mass shooters have ancestors who were immigrants. Ann seems to forget that we all have ancestors who were immigrants. In fact, if we had a mass deportation of people born from immigrants, we would see a sharp decline in the number of poorly written, conservative books by an author who has to shop for shoes at a specialty store.

But enough about Big Foot… I mean Ann. You know who I really can’t stand now? That horrible NRA spokesperson, Dana Loesch, who thinks CNN and MSNBC love mass shootings because crying white mothers are “ratings gold”. I really didn’t think there was anyone more pathetic than Ann Coulter, but I don’t hang around in sewers so I had never heard of Ms. Loesch before. Honestly, she looks like something the dog has been hiding under the porch, so I’m not sure I want to get to know her. I have no idea if she’s as dumb as Ann, so I’m going to call her bluff and see if she is correct. Let’s ban all assault weapons and see if CNN and MSNBC go off the air because mass shootings become a thing of the past. Do we have a deal? The balls in your court, Dana. Actually it’s under the porch with you and the dog.

And speaking of that idiot Ann Coulter – OK bad segue but any chance to call Ann an idiot is ratings gold for me. And speaking of that idiot Ann Coulter, I wonder where she stands on the orange asshole. For or against?  I assume she is pro Trump, but again she’s been irrelevant so long I’m not sure. She hates immigrants. He hates immigrants. She loves guns. He loves guns.  She sort of looks like a man.  He sort of looks like a man. She has affairs with porn stars. He has affairs with porn stars. No wait. I honestly can’t back that last one up with any factual evidence. And while both she and Trump don’t believe in facts, I hold myself to a higher standard. So I issue this corrected statement: I have no idea if a porn star would actually sleep with Ann Coulter. However, I stand by my statement about porn stars sleeping with Trump. Sometimes they even marry him.

Now, where was I going with this? Oh yes. Stupidity.  Is Ann more stupid than Trump or is Trump more stupid than Dana?  I’m going to say no to the former and yes to the latter. There is no stupidity like Trump stupidity, although Ann and Dana come close.

Arming teachers with guns is really your answer?  Are you kidding me?  And to make it sweeter, Trump says we’ll give them “a little bit of a bonus.”  Dear Lord in Heaven, but there is no bullshit like orange bullshit. Well, as long as we’re not going to take the issue seriously, why don’t we give guns to Delta Flight Attendants so they can put down Ann Coulter when she goes off on them again. By the way, Delta, thank you for stopping your discounts to NRA members. Not only does it put you on the right side of history, it ensures more people like Ann won’t have to be crated on your flights.

Way back before the election, during the presidential debates, Hillary Clinton suggested that Donald Trump wanted guns in school classrooms.  Trump called her Crooked Hillary and said she was WRONG!  He frequently tweets and speaks in ALL CAPS because he’s a moron. Anyway, I digress. The fact is, he lied. But are we really surprised? Trump has led a life of greed, adultry, racism and deceit – all verifiable. Why did we think his presidency would be any different? #MAGA is a joke.

I have an idea, Mr. Trump. How about you pull your head out of Wayne LaPierre’s ass and we just ban assault rifles and give all teachers a bonus to cover the cost of their classroom supplies. But if you are really going to ask them to carry guns to protect students, then how about we cap their salaries at the same level we cap secret service agents – that’s about $160,000 per year. Or, like I said earlier, we could just ban assault rifles. Wait a minute. Let me holler that down Wayne LaPierre’s throat so you can hear me.

Donald Trump actually needed notes to remind him how to be sympathetic to teens who survived a mass shooting. Somebody please find the Tin Man and see if he will give Donald a heart.  And while we’re at it, let’s work on a Scarecrow with a spare brain.

Have all Republicans lost their minds? Why are you trying to create a world where more guns is the answer? Why aren’t we trying to find a solution that results in less guns? Considering how much you increased military spending, I’m pretty sure the need for an unregulated, redneck militia has been mitigated. Red Dawn was just a movie… oh crap. Russia.  I forgot about Trump colluding with Russia. Well damn, my argument was pretty good until now.

Ok.  Let me try again. NRA lovers like Dana say that it wasn’t the gun, it was Nikolas Cruz that killed 17 people.  Well, I’m pretty sure if Nikolas Cruz had simply shown up with a pea shooter, that brave Emma Gonzalez would have punched him the face.  The NRA is right. Guns don’t kill people. They just make it a hell of a lot easier.

How about we make it less easy for school children to be slaughtered. Ban assault rifles. I mean it. Really.

#NeverAgain #MarchForOurLives

From Margaret:

Courage. You forgot courage, dear. We need to find a lion. Or better yet, let’s see if one of those high school kids can show Trump what courage is.  An exercise in futility, I am sure.

Note from Matthew: We use WordPress to create this blog. WordPress, not us, generates the ads. We were shocked to see the gun map ad too. I was going to complain, but then my Grandmother started laughing. In her words “Let those fools waste their advertising money. The more who see it and ignore it here, the less who will see it if it was more appropriately displayed elsewhere .” She’s smart like that.

From Helen:

Margaret, I’m mad as hell and I have a few things I need to get off my chest. First, and most important, how the hell do Russians dope in Curling? Do you down a fistful of Xanax before you gently push the stone across the ice?

And speaking of Russians, there is something called a Russian Bot messing with our elections. One of them goes by the name @RealDonaldTrump. Now I don’t know what a bot is, but I assume it looks like an asshole with a bad comb over.

For the love of man, do Trump’s Twitter followers have any decency? These kids are not actors. They are re-acting to watching their friends get murdered by an 18 year old maniac with an assault rifle. I hope that is something these so called Patriots never have to experience.

The GOP’s hypocrisy has no bounds. They can limit and restrict my right to an abortion or my grandson’s right to get married, but the right to own a gun is a sacred gift from God. Because we all know that if the disciples had AR-15’s, Jesus would have said, “Let’s blow the shit out of those damn Romans. Make Nazareth Great Again.” #MNGA

And we know these NRA bought and paid for politicians aren’t going to do a damn thing. If slaughtering elementary school kids didn’t create new laws, this won’t even faze them. And give me a break. Trump is all talk. No limits. No regulations. Bigger bullets. Longer barrels. Anything to make up for that tiny, orange carrot hanging between his legs.

We’re talking about arming teachers instead of un-arming children. We’re making plans to turn our schools into prisons rather than banning assault rifles from an unregulated, redneck militia. Somehow the solution to gun violence is more guns. Now that is some serious bullshit.

And when they are not attacking kids, these “Christians” are worshipping a golden calf. Actually it’s more orange than gold. And more fool’s gold than real gold. A foolish orange cow with a bad comb over. When they gave him a mulligan, they lost the moral authority they never really had.

Well, just like that precious Emma Gonzales, I call bullshit. The solution to gun violence is not more guns. And the NRA is not a membership organization for gun owners. It is a domestic terrorist organization for gun manufacturers. It buys politicians and then forever holds them hostage.

Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” #NeverAgain indeed. If my daughter will take me, I’m going to that march in DC. And if I get anywhere near that golden cow, I’m going to slap that comb over right off its orange head.

Bullshit. The whole Trump presidency is bullshit. I mean it. Really.

From Margaret:

Never doubt that a small and ignorant group of Republicans can elect a President; indeed, with the help of Russia they already have.

helen-mug1 FROM HELEN:

Margaret, what the hell is happening? Nazi’s are fine people. Russia poked me on Facebook. The Real Housewives of Trump Tower are fighting over who’s the real First Lady. And now the Civil War wasn’t about slavery. Has everyone gone insane?

We had an opportunity to have an honest conversation about racism and once again Trump screwed it up. Those football players are kneeling for a reason and it has nothing to do with the flag. And then we had an opportunity to have an honest conversation about gun violence and once again the Republican Party made it about… turned it into… changed the topic to… wait a minute. They didn’t do anything. They just left it hanging out there. It’s just bat shit crazy if you ask me.

And now we are debating the civil war? Again? I know for damn sure we had that conversation a long time ago and it ended with freeing the slaves and a dead president. Compromise? John Kelly says it was about lack of compromise? General Kelly, with all due respect, what was the acceptable compromise? The South could keep the slaves, but they had to give them weekends off? My God is anyone in the  Trump White House not a racist? They’ve got more white sheets than a Motel 6 in Pulaski, Tennessee.

The other day I saw John Kasich on TV talking about his dissatisfaction with the Republican Party and I thought maybe we could find something to agree upon. But then he said that he had no idea what Democrats stood for and I was reminded that Kasich is still an asshat.

Mr. Kasich here is what Democrats stand for.  It’s not a secret.

  • Affordable healthcare for all.  Period.
  • Common sense gun control because you don’t need an assault rifle to kill a deer.
  • Immigration reform.
  • Equal pay for equal work.
  • A woman can be trusted to make her own healthcare decisions.
  • Sex education reduces unintended pregnancies.
  • Love is color blind and gender neutral.
  • Global warming is not a Chinese hoax even though Trump has more chins than a Chinese phone book.   (Was that racist or just a clever play on the word chin being Chen is the 5th most common Chinese surname?  Actually it was a joke about Trump being a fatass which has nothing to do with global warming unless you count the amount of gas Trump releases from his fat ass daily.  Surely there is a scientist who can tell us what harm that is causing.  You know what?  Never mind.  Just get us back into the damn Paris Climate Agreement.  That’s what I meant to say, really. )
  • Happy Holidays is a lovely thing to say to someone when you want them to have a Happy Holiday.
  • Every child should have access to a quality education.
  • College should be affordable.
  • Coal is stupid.  (see Chen reference above)
  • Slavery was bad.
  • Nazi’s are not fine people.
  • Trump is a moron. (Which makes Rex Tillerson an honorary Democrat)

I’m sure I’ve left a few things out, but I think that’s a pretty good list to start. And I imagine if you read the comments below, you’ll learn a few more things we Democrats stand for.

I think the real question is what do Republicans stand for?  Because it appears they stand for greed, racism and coal. I’m not sure if you know this, but Donald Trump Jr. tweets bullshit about as well as his father. Last night he tweeted out a picture of his adorable daughter with her Halloween candy. He commented that he was going to make her give half of it away to children who didn’t go out because it’s never to [sic] late to teach her about socialism.”  Now I don’t know about you, but where I come from a child giving away half of her candy to other kids is called sharing and it’s a very charitable thing to do.  But bless their hearts, the Trumps know nothing about charity.  Maybe it would be a better lesson to have her get 99% of the candy and just wait to see how long it takes for some of it to trickle down to the poor kids she hangs out with. Or better yet, have her pledge to give 25,000 pieces of it to a Gold Star Father and then forget to do it. Oh.  I know.  Teach her to take the candy from other children and then give it away herself so she can tell everyone how charitable she is and maybe take a tax deduction and then hide her tax returns.

When I was a little girl, if you ran into someone like Donald Trump or Donald Trump Jr. you would conclude that they were not right in the head. Now I have a feeling that little expression is no longer politically correct, but in this case, it is medically correct so I could stand by it. Instead, I’ll try not to offend anyone and just say that Donald Trump is not normal, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  He’s about 9 eggs short of a dozen.   A small fries shy of a Happy Meal.  A Saturday devoid of a weekend. He’s only got one oar in the water. If his brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose. So dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel… Awe hell. The man’s an idiot and so is his son, Slow Donnie.

Might I remind all of you Republicans out there that your candidates insulted one another’s wives and compared penis size. And then you went and elected the disgusting one who admits to assaulting women. Last time I checked, Democrats didn’t nominate Harvey Weinstein.

I’m a little tired of everyone trying to make sense out of this President. He ain’t right in the head. I mean it really.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET:

Helen, dear, I don’t want to take the chance of offending anyone so I’m donating to Goodwill my Robert E. Lee potholder I bought in Charleston in 1962. The color doesn’t go with my kitchen anymore anyway.

Margaret, last week six football players knelt during the national anthem.  This week it was 200.  And just like Colin Kaepernick, they weren’t making a statement about the flag.  I swear this president is so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass if both hands were in his back pockets. 

Lord help me, but I’ve taken a knee and I don’t want to get up.  Maybe I can’t get up.  I’m not sure which.  Three and a half million American citizens are in crisis in Puerto Rico, North Korea is threatening Armageddon, Russia used Facebook to influence our elections, Nazis are running over young women, Congress wants to take healthcare away from poor people… and our president has nothing better to do except name calling to get a cheer at his Klan rally.

As the widow of a veteran, I have no issue with any player taking a knee to protest during the national anthem. He has every bit as much right to do that as Donald Trump had to say that McCain wasn’t a war hero because he had been captured. Protecting that right is what my husband and McCain fought for. And all those Trump supporters calling for a football boycott lost their moral high ground when they put that man in the Oval Office.

A black football player peacefully protests well-documented inequalities that exist within out legal system and a bunch of crackers in Alabama cheer when the President calls him a son-of a-bitch. Are we really surprised? After all, those same hillbillies had no problem when the President called a bunch of protesting Nazis fine people. If we should be outraged about anything, it’s that we have a President who seems to be more comfortable in a white hood than the White House.

The “sons-of-bitches” in question were protesting social inequalities. The fact that Trump and his supporters equate that to protesting America is telling if you ask me. But what is even more telling is how Trump insults the players’ mothers rather than the player.

You know what’s really disrespectful to the American Flag and the men and women who fought to defend it?  The Confederate flag.  I mean it.  Really.

From Helen:

Margaret, that man is so stupid if he threw himself on the ground he would miss. And in that ridiculous hat he looks like something the dog is hiding under the porch. Honestly honey, I just don’t like him. He makes my ass itch every time he opens his mouth. 

At the same time thousands in Brazoria County were being told literally to get out now because a levee had been breached, Trump was declaring job well done and commenting on the size of the crowd that showed up to hear him talk. My God that man thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.  At one point he actually marveled about how famous the FEMA director was becoming on TV as if FEMA Director Brock Long should be paying attention to his Neilson ratings.

Look, I don’t care what shoes Melania was wearing and I don’t care that Trump didn’t do any photo shots with victims. I don’t even care that he’s selling that USA hat he was wearing for $40 dollars on his own website. Ok. Maybe I care a little bit about that. I mean how shameful is this man? I’ll give $45 to shove it up his ass. But I digress…. What I do care about is our president has the vocabulary of a third grader and the empathy of a tree stump.

While in Texas, Trump actually said this about Harvey. “It sounds like such an innocent name. … But it’s not innocent. It’s not innocent.” For the love of God what the hell does that even mean?  Is he going to pardon it now? It’s a hurricane not a Jimmy Stewart movie. I guess going forward all Hurricanes should have Latino names so we can be certain they are bad hombres. Hurricane Carla, now she was a real bitch… 

Please tell me I wasn’t the only one screaming at the television today. 

But you know what is most telling about this whole situation? It’s the number of Trump supporters who were bitching to me on the internet that “at least Trump showed up because Obama was playing golf during Katrina.” Hey asshats, Obama wasn’t the president during Katrina. Bush was. And for the record, then Senator Obama volunteered in Louisiana during Katrina.

Excuse me but I need to digress again…

Listen up Republicans of all shapes, sizes and limited educational backgrounds. Obama gave you expanded access to healthcare while turning around the worst economic disaster since the Great Depression. Trump has given you accolades for Nazis and ten new coal mining jobs. Pull your goddamn heads out of your asses and think about that.

And to the idiot who showed a picture of Michelle Obama supposedly shopping three days after Katrina… oh Lord give me strength… She wasn’t the First Lady then and that picture you’re showing everyone is Condoleezza Rice not Michelle Obama.  Please. Before I die. Please. I want to meet one member of Trump’s base who doesn’t have a white sheet and hood hanging in the closet. Just one.

Now. What was I talking about again?  Oh yes…

My prayers go out to everyone affected by this storm. I have no doubt that when the rains finally stop, Texas will recover thanks in large part to the hard work of first responders and government officials both local and national. I hold out hope that we learned from past mistakes and will handle this disaster better than Katrina. I’m far from a diplomat. I’m old, cranky and prone to cusswords.  But even I am smart enough to know you don’t celebrate victory while an entire city is under water and it’s still raining. 

And to add insult to injury, I just read that ten days before Hurricane Harvey made landfall, President Trump signed an executive order eliminating an Obama-era rule called the federal flood risk management standard. What might you ask is that? It was a rule that asked agencies to account for climate change projections when they approved spending on infrastructure projects. Yep. That rule is now gone. Meaning we’ll all be here again long after that fool is gone.

The man is deplorable. I mean it. Really.

From Margaret:

The only thing presidential about that visit was the plane. 

From Helen:

Margaret, I used to assume that the majority of racists were probably Republican, but now I am beginning to wonder if the majority of Republicans are actually racists. How else do you explain a party still standing behind this Make America Great Again Asshat of a President?  And while I know that I am painting with broad strokes, I still just see a canvas of predominantly white people making up excuses for the racist things coming out of Trump’s mouth. The man is 12 shy of a dozen and we need to get him out of office.  Hurry Mueller. Please hurry.

Earlier this week I did that Twitter thing and said that I wished Trump would not come to Texas. And for that, one of Trump’s supporters called me a c**t.  Listen.  It’s not a nice word but I’ll take being called the C word over being called a Trump Supporter any day.  And I have good reason to not want Trump to come to Texas.

Before we all turned our attention to Harvey there was a lot of talk about Trump’s handling of Charlottesville. In case you forgot a white supremacist… neo-Nazi… white separatist… hell let’s just call it like we see it… a member of the Trump base drove  a car into a group of counter protestors in Charlottesville killing a young woman named Heather Heyer. Trump said he needed time to determine how he felt about what happened. His initial reaction was to blame many sides. Then two days later he condemned hate groups only to then flip again and show us what he really thought by  saying there was blame on both sides. Both sides. On one side there were Nazis and one of them took a car and ran over a young woman. On the other side there were no Nazis.  None. Not even one on a bicycle named Rolfe. Nazis on one side. No Nazis on the other. But somehow our President came down in the middle, unable apparently to take sides even though we literally fought and won a war about the No Nazis thing. This isn’t a Mel Brooks play. These Nazis didn’t dance and sing. They marched and chanted death to Jews.

And then a few days later another horrible  man – this one seemingly not a Nazi – drove a van into a bunch of people in Barcelona killing thirteen. Almost instantly Trump blamed Radical Islamic Terrorists. No sides. Just an entire religion to be blamed. Of course, that Nazi in Charlottesville being a Christian and all has no bearing. Maybe if more Muslims were Nazis… I don’t know. Just thinking out loud.

Anyway, at this point a natural disaster couldn’t get here soon enough to change the media narrative so Trump did the next best thing. He created one of those man-made disasters called a Trump Rally in Phoenix. And with the nation still trying to heal from Charlottesville, Trump proceeded to whine for an hour about how badly he was treated over Charlottesville. Hey Jackass.  You know who was mistreated in Charlottesville? The non-Nazi Heather Heyer who was murdered by one of your supporters.  Mr. President have you no shame? Are you really that insecure?  For the love of God the other side was marching  in support of white supremacy and the war to uphold slavery. And they were doing so because they felt they had a friend in the White House. Are you truly incapable of being even somewhat presidential?

Which brings us back to Harvey or actually Sherriff Joe’s pardon just as Harvey rushed ashore.  Everyone knew this storm was going to be catastrophic.  Even Trump tweeted how huge it was going to be as if that somehow made him more important.  And then minutes later he tweets that he is pleased to announce his pardon of the nation’s most famous racist. That’s the way he set the stage for being a Uniter-In-Chief during a crisis. But I’m the cunt. 

So I said openly that I would prefer Trump not to come to Texas.  After all, there is no one here to pardon yet. Anyone remember how angry Republicans were at Chris Christy for complimenting Obama’s response to Sandy? Considering how much turmoil Trump has been in since taking office, I think Texas Govenor Abbott probably needs to thank Obama as well.  But we all know that’s not going to happen. Like it or not (I do not), Trump is in the White House now. But honestly does anyone in Texas think he’s going to make us all feel better when he gets here?  The idiot already bragged about how big his win was in Missouri quite literally while rescue workers were pulling Houstonians from their rooftops.  And then hawked a book while seniors were being evacuated from flooded nursing homes.  He couldn’t even stand up to Nazis. Why do we think he’ll act presidential during one of the worst natural disaster in decades?

Mr. Trump stay home. You can Tweet from afar. We don’t need you to come here and remind storm refugees the percentage by which you won Texas.  This State has enough morons in politics that one more isn’t going to do us any good. (Anyone read about the law Texas just passed that will make it easier for insurance companies to screw Texans after this storm?)

But back to Arpaio. When asked about the timing of the announcement, Trump proudly proclaimed that he wanted to take advantage of the huge ratings during a huge hurricane. My God but what a huge asshole this man is. I am not sure we can survive 4 years. Considering it’s Trump, do you think we can count this presidency in dog years? My apology to dogs. I mean it. Really.

 From Margaret:

Helen, hasn’t Texas suffered enough? Having the Trump circus come to town will benefit no one. That clown car needs to just keep moving toward higher ground and hopefully that higher ground is Trump Tower never to return.

My heart aches for you, dear, and your beloved Texas.

helen-mug1  From Helen:

Margaret,  several people have asked me why I haven’t been writing. The truth is, honey, this isn’t funny anymore.  Our President… scratch that…  the moron currently occupying the White House just equated George Washington to Robert E. Lee.  He can’t understand why a memorial to the symbolic founding father of our country is different than a memorial to a general in an army that fought a failed rebellion against our government.

Mr. President, with no respect intended, I implore you to please step down.  You are not qualified for the position you now hold.  Quite frankly, you are not qualified to be much more than a reality TV star, a position I hold in very low regard by the way.

There is a reason that in Germany you will find no statues of Hitler, no monuments to the Third Reich, and no Chancellor of Germany suggesting there was blame for World War 2 on both sides.  And there is a reason that Robert E. Lee himself didn’t want statues honoring the Confederacy.  In his own words, “I think it wiser not to keep open the sores of war but to follow the examples of those nations who endeavored to obliterate the marks of civil strife, to commit to oblivion the feelings engendered.”

Mr. President, you joked recently that you might one day be on Mount Rushmore.  I wonder at times what color the sky is in your world?  Are you really this stupid?  How in God’s name did you become the leader of the free world?

No, Mr. President.  There were not many sides in Charlottesville.  There were just two. Right and wrong. There were white supremacists on one side and Americans who believe all people are created equal on the other side.  There were hate groups and there were Americans who oppose hate. There were neo-Nazis and… Do we really have to go beyond that? Isn’t that what we call a non-starter?  There were Nazi’s, you stupid piece of shit, and still that wasn’t clear enough for you?  Really?  You couldn’t even get this one right? On one side there were Nazis and on the other there were no Nazis, and you still came down on the wrong side?

Now, I don’t know what the Alt Left is, but if it’s the group that wants to stand up to neo-Nazis and white supremacists to end racism, bigotry and hate then sign me up.  I suggest however that it is just more crap from the endless pile of crap falling freely from your mouth.  Mr. President, how many Alt Right funerals took place this week?

What kind of a man is so cowardly that he is unable to distinguish between those groups? What kind of a man can’t comprehend the simple concept  that while we all have  a right to protest, not all protests are right? What kind of man, I ask? Well, I’ll tell you exactly what kind of man.  The kind that started the birthers, molested women, made fun of the handicapped, joked about having sex with his daughter, and espousesd beliefs that people from Mexico are rapists and murderers.  My God if this man had an honest thought, it would die of loneliness.

Everyone wants to claim that we need to get back to the issues that Trump ran on.  We are quick to say that the majority of Trump voters were voting because of the economy. Well pardon my French but in this case the bullshit is both walking and talking.  This is exactly the issue he ran on.  He kicked off his campaign accusing immigrants from Mexico as being rapists and murderers.  The Republican Party owns this.  If you are a Republican today, you condone this.

Hillary Clinton called them a basket of deplorables. I prefer to call them a confederacy of dunces.  My heart goes out to Charlottesville and to this great country of ours as we suffer this fool of a man who was too stupid to know he was too stupid to be President. I mean it. Really.

margaret-mug1 From Margaret:

Helen, dear.  I know I’ve lived too long that when given the choice between dinner with the President of the United States and dinner with Sarah Palin, I would gladly ask Sarah to pass the peas.   And I don’t even like peas.

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