Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 25, 2014

Helen’s Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2014

Dear Family,

This Thanksgiving I am thankful some of you have decided to go to a football game rather than gather for the traditional meal.  It means I have that many less gifts to buy this Christmas.

I am also thankful that I stopped calling myself a housewife years ago.  Those Botox bimbos on that Bravo show have managed to ruin an otherwise perfectly good profession.    I’d like to see the sorry excuse of a take-out meal they cook up for Thanksgiving.  Housewives my ass. Bless their hearts, most of them seem more suited for the world’s oldest profession anyway.

And speaking of the oldest profession, I am truly thankful that none of my granddaughters dress like a Kardashian.  That Kim became famous for putting her private moments on the internet web for the whole world to see.  We used to call that pornography but today they call it social media.   My goodness how the world has changed.  I’ll be even more thankful when her fifteen minutes…weeks…years….. are finally up because in my book she’s a glorified adult movie star.  I do, however, like her backside.  A woman with a healthy bottom can’t be all bad… as long as it got that way eating pie.

This year I am particularly thankful Sarah Palin never became Vice President. Bless her heart, she can’t help being stupid, but she really should just stay home.

And speaking of staying home, I am thankful that all of you are coming to my house to spend another holiday with me.  I’m a little older so there will be fewer rules.  One rule remains, however.  If you are vehemently vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, dairy free, sugar-free or just plain fat-free… don’t come.

Last year I told you there was no such thing as a gluten-free Thanksgiving.  A few of you got a little upset over that.   Well I used to have a handle on life but it broke.  So I suggest you get over it and have some stuffing.  If you can find the gluten, you are welcome to pick it out and push it aside.  We can feed it to the dog.  But if you are vegetarian there is bacon in pretty much everything so your going to starve to death sticking to your convictions.

A few years ago I switched to the 2-liter bottles of soda, hoping to cut down on the waste.   Instead of cutting down on the waste, we just increased the spills.  This year I am thankful for those new tiny cans of Coca-Cola.   After years of throwing away half-empty cans the grandkids opened and then forgot about after two sips, I’ll gladly spend a little more to give a little less.

Oh and thank goodness brussels sprouts have made a comeback.  Now I have something to feed the vegetarian… no wait.  I cook them in bacon grease.  Sorry about that.  I guess if you want a salad honey, bring your own… unless it’s Jell-O salad.  If you bring Jell-O salad to my front door, just keep walking to my back door.  You’ll find the trash can on the patio to your left.  Jell-O salad looks like something the dog’s been keepin’ under the porch and I’ve got no use for salad of any kind except chicken or egg.

We’ve got two new babies in the family this year so  I’ll remind everyone of the rules.  If you change a dirty diaper while you’re here, take it with you when you leave.  The trash man doesn’t come until Tuesday.  I don’t come to your house and forget to flush the toilet so you don’t need to come to my house and leave a pile of poop in my can.  And your children are cute but capturing their every moment on the camera is just setting them up for  that social media nightmare I mentioned above.  Put your camera away so the rest of us can relax and let a notch or two out on our belts.

As much as I don’t agree, I am aware that parenting has become optional these days.  But if I can still cook a meal like this at my age then the least you can do is humor me long enough to mange your child’s plate.  I can’t stand watching half my meal end up in the trash because your child’s eyes were bigger than your husband’s stomach.

Finally, I would like to remind you that all cell phones go into the basket in the entry way.  You can pick them up on your way out.  If I catch one kid texting at the dinner table, the turkey goes into the fridge and everyone goes home on an empty stomach.

And now that I have gotten my crankiness out of the way, let me say that I am very thankful to have you in my family.  Your grandfather, God rest his soul, loved a big meal.  We’re having the same meal his mother used to make and the one I made for him every year of our marriage: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes made with real cream, sweet corn, candied yams, roasted brussels sprouts, green beans, cranberry sauce, homemade bread, pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pie and a nap.

I told you not to worry about bringing anything but your appetite.  I meant it.  Really.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 14, 2014

Someone needs to explain to Greg Abbott where babies come from

Margaret, I hear the fall colors up there in Maine rival the beauty of my spring wild flowers down here in Texas. Well, I find that hard to believe ’cause our wild flowers are mighty pretty. Maybe we’ll have to agree to disagree. But do you know what else I find hard to believe? That Texas could have a Governor more stupid than Rick Perry or even George Bush.

I shudder to think that Tweedle Dee followed Tweedle Dumb in our State Capitol, but this confederacy of dunces is only going to get worse if we elect Greg Abbott this fall. (For those of you who don’t live here, he’s our esteemed Attorney General who is running for Governor against Wendy Davis.)

Yesterday, Abbott argued that the state’s ban on same sex marriage would reduce the number of babies born out of wedlock. Evidently, heterosexuals won’t have unprotected sex as long as Ellen and Portia can’t file jointly in Texas on the off chance they move here. Thank goodness because I had given up on the idea that heterosexuals would ever get on the condom band wagon. Bless his heart. Abbott can’t help being stupid, but he could have stayed home.

You know, my generation remained pretty quiet on the subject of homosexuality – mainly because we didn’t talk about such things. But, if truth be known, most of us probably were fine with the idea. What a shame we remained quiet as I am sure there were a lot of heterosexual marriages that would have been a great deal happier if they had not included a closeted homosexual in the union.

So why am I speaking up now? Well, I found out a few years ago that Margaret has a gay nephew and more recently that I have a gay grandson. So maybe it’s time I stopped letting social etiquette stand in the way of civil rights.

Mr. Abbott, you are a hate filled idiot who is about as useful as a milk bucket under a bull. The only thing that will reduce the number of babies born out of wedlock is comprehensive sex education in our schools. Clearly whatever you were taught is for shit if you think there is any correlation between same sex marriage and unplanned pregnancies. And for the record, if you have an issue with gay marriage, don’t get married to a gay person.

And if you don’t want another idiot as Governor of Texas, don’t vote for Greg Abbott. Vote for Wendy Davis. She knows where babies come from. I mean it. Really.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | September 10, 2014

At least one meal a week should taste good enough to be bad for you

helen-mug1 FROM HELEN:

Margaret, I seem to be all over the map these days.  Presidential politics, Texas politics, the immigration debate… But if I am going to be so stressed about politics, I need to balance things as I have always done…with food.  And I know what people reading this are saying already: How unhealthy.

Really?  That’s what you say to someone well into her eighth decade? I’d say I’ve beaten those odds.  And you all should see how much pie Margaret eats… and she’s thinner than a silver dollar.  She looks like a zipper when she sticks out her tongue. Plus, she’s so tall if she fell down she would be halfway home.  I love you honey, but eat a potato chip every now and then.

Listen, I’m fat because I eat pie and think I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.  I could stand to be a little healthier in my habits.  But I know we would all be a little happier if at least one meal a week tasted good enough to be bad for you.

Speaking of bad for you… These nuanced presidential press conferences about ISIS have got to stop.  No one wants to hear that we are going to systematically degrade ISIS and ultimately defeat them.  Tell us that we will wipe their sorry asses from the face of the earth and then go back into the oval office and work with your generals to begin the systematic degrading.  Mr. President, you are too smart for your own good.  This is America.  You need to add a little bacon to your green beans.  They’re less hard to swallow that way.

And speaking of hard to swallow, Texas politics is full of more wind than a corn-eating horse.  I’m speaking, of course, about the latest television commercial from Greg Abbott, or as I like to call him – that guy in the wheelchair.   And I know what everyone is saying now:  How insensitive.

Really? That’s what you say to the fat old lady in a wheelchair?  At least I’m not using my disability to garner votes.  When you watch that ad, it’s kind of hard not to see him as the guy in the wheelchair.  But hey, whatever works.  Right?

Although, here is what the ad doesn’t tell you:

When Abbott was still in law school, he was jogging through a wealthy neighborhood in Houston and an oak tree just fell right on top of him. I’m not foolin’. It was a freak accident that put him in a wheelchair for life.  Tragic.  Just tragic.  Now, Greg did what lots of folks would do: He sued the homeowner… and a tree company. In addition to claiming medical expenses the lawsuit included non-economic damages including mental anguish and physical impairment, as well as the reduced capacity to work.  His settlement which still gives him monthly payments, amounted to more than $10 million, tax-free. Well I say, good for him.  I’ve got no problem with using the courts to right a wrong.  Of course, Greg seems to have changed his mind now that his day in court is over.  He’s built a career on making it harder for other Texans to sue their wealthy neighbors as he had done.

As a justice on the Texas Supreme Court, Greg supported limiting non-economic damages such as mental anguish.  He helped pass laws that limit the amount others can now sue for.  As Texas Attorney General, that jackass even tried to strike down the portion of the Americans with Disabilities Act requiring equal access to public buildings.   When questioned, he told reporters, “Because I filed a claim of my own, should I forever be foreclosed from criticizing frivolous and abusive lawsuits?”   This from the guy who has sued the federal government 27 times – 20 since Obama has been in office.

What’s good for the goose, is not good for the gander on Greg’s farm.   In today’s Texas, Greg would be the much less wealthy guy in the wheelchair – probably suffering from the mental anguish of having been cut down in his prime with no avenue to make it right. That’s politics for you:  Full of assholes in and out of wheelchairs.

So to let off a little steam, here is a recipe for some food that might not be good for you, but will sure as hell make you feel better:

Take an eggplant, peel it and cut it lengthwise into thin slices – thin enough to roll up.  Dip each slice in some buttermilk and then dredge it through some flour.   Shake off the excess flour and then sprinkle with some salt and pepper.  Make up a batch of goat cheese mixed with some roasted garlic, oregano and basil (or cilantro).  Don’t worry about quantities.   Your mouth is there for tasting.  Add your favorite spices as you desire.  Measuring spoons are pointless unless you are baking.  Drop a spoonful of the cheese mixture on one end of each slice of eggplant.  Roll it up so the cheese mixture ends up in the middle of your roll.  Heat up some vegetable oil (or better yet, bacon grease) in a heavy frying pan. Fry the eggplant rolls until they are golden brown all over.  Top it off with your favorite tomato sauce – I make mine from scratch but a jar will work too. 

Now, turn off the TV. Pour yourself a glass of wine and if you didn’t take my advice about the bacon grease you can call yourself a vegetarian.   Oh… and if you happen to live in the great state of Texas, come November, vote for Wendy Davis.  I mean it.  Really.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET:

Helen, dear, the only thing that could improve your little eggplant recipe would be to follow it up with a great big slice of pie. Any kind will do. Life is full of questions and pie is always the correct answer.

Pie now, pay later.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | July 22, 2014

Jesus Loves the Legal Little Children

helen-mug1  FROM HELEN:

Margaret, our good Christian Governor down here in Texas, Rick Perry, said he would use his executive authority to activate up to 1,000 National Guard troops to help secure the Texas border region against “criminal aliens.”   Criminal Aliens being Spanish for children, I think.  My Spanish isn’t so good so you might want to look that up.   These are children who were not aborted so Texas just doesn’t have room for them… or compassion.  In Spanish I believe the word for compassion is… well I’m not sure what it is but I am sure that good Christian Perry knows.

Last year, Perry spoke to the Faith and Freedom Coalition about his own Christian faith and how God taught him to abandon his own selfish pride.

“Nothing less than the example of our savior inspires me as I speak to you today,” Perry said. He then read Philippians 2:5-8, in which Paul says that Christ set an example for his followers by humbling himself and became “obedient unto death, even death upon a cross.”

I always love it when a good Christian finds strength in the words of Jesus.   It gives me hope.    In this case, I think the teachings of Jesus are pretty clear…

New International Version
Jesus said, “Let the legal little children north of the border come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

New Living Translation
But Jesus said, “Let the non criminal alien children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children especially those good legal ones from Texas.”

English Standard Version
but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them unless they are illegal, for only to the legal ones belongs the kingdom of heaven.”

New American Standard Bible
But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.  But make sure they have their documentation.”

Yes.  Margaret.   It reminds me of my favorite hymn:

Jesus loves the legal children,
All the legal children of the world.
Red and yellow, black but mainly white,
All are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the legal children of the world.

Amen.  I mean it.  Really.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET:

Helen, dear.  I’m afraid I can’t help you.  I own a non-political bible and the only aliens we have to worry about up here are the French Canadians.  Does Governor Perry have issues with French Canadians?

Posted by: Helen Philpot | July 11, 2014

Which comes first, the chicken or the vagina?

Margaret, I’m old and I’m tired.  I thought I was ready to hang my quill up for good and then Rick Perry had to open his mouth again and let a whole lot of stupid fall out.   When will that man realize that his brain is older and more tired than even mine?

Last month Perry compared being gay to being an alcoholic.  This from a man who is so light in his loafers that his feet haven’t touched the ground since he got a C in Animal Breeding at Texas A&M University.   Not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you — his being light in the loafers that is. His many C’s and D’s in college is a different story.  Indeed a C in Animal Breeding is something to be concerned about.

Now the man who wants to shrink the federal government just enough to fit inside my vagina is complaining that Obama isn’t doing enough to stop the flood of immigrant children coming across the border illegally.  Evidently the only children Rick cares about are the ones who haven’t been born yet.  Once they are here – screw ‘em!

Thank goodness the clock on Perry’s record time as Governor of Texas is running out.  Sadly, it means he will most likely run for President again.  If you think I am wrong, check out his new look.  Women don’t make passes at men who wear glasses to try and look smarter.  Give it up Rick.  We all remember the Oops.

Sadly for us, the man most likely to replace him in Texas is even more anxious to get in my knickers than Rick was.  Do a little research on Greg Abbott folks.  He is the real deal when it comes to crazy.  He is suing Obama over the border issues.  He hates those children too, I guess.   In fact, the only thing Greg Abbott seems to hate more than immigrant children is the ability for women to limit the number of unwanted children they bring into the world.  This Republican conundrum is troubling indeed – which comes first, the chicken or the vagina?

Margaret, dear, my work on this earth is not done.  Texas needs another  woman in the State Capitol.  I’m for Wendy.   I mean it.  Really.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | January 24, 2014

Uncle Sugar Needs To Meet Aunt Flo

helen-mug1 From Helen:

Margaret, as sure as the sun is going to come up tomorrow, some Republican peckerwood is going to say something stupid about a woman’s baby maker.  I’d say “uterus” but that just confuses them even more.  In this case, it’s Mike Huckabee attempting to redefine the war on women.  Of course, with a name like Huckabee, need I really say more?  (My sincere apology to any Huckabee’s out there who can walk without dragging their knuckles across the floor.)

Mike said:

“If the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control, because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it.”

Now, Michael, Dear…  Let’s talk a little about the reproductive system.  I’ll try to use simple terms so as not to talk over your tiny little head (the one on your shoulders and not in your pants).  I don’t know much about Uncle Sugar, but during a certain age that can be shorter for some and longer for others, we women get a monthly visit from Aunt Flo.  She’s fairly predictable that Flo, but sometimes she can throw you for a loop just for the hell of it.  It’s certainly far from foolproof, but if you are very careful you just might be able to time your “relations” around Flo’s visit and avoid a pregnancy.  Pay no mind to those large Catholic families.  They might just be bad at math or maybe they thought Aunt Flo was a heavy sleeper.  (Think about it.)

Now for some women, sex is something they would prefer to avoid.  Just look at Janet Huckabee with her three children.  But for most women – and most men – sex is something that happens more than just the third Thursday after the second Friday of odd-numbered days in months that end in R.  Like I told you, it can get a little tricky.  In fact, most women don’t equate having sex to getting pregnant at all.  Why?  Because we don’t have to.  Birth control gave women the freedom to be planned mothers (or not) rather than livestock existing simply to grow the herd.  Come to think of it, maybe Janet Huckabee didn’t tell Mike about everything that was in her medicine cabinet.

Most women use birth control for… well, birth control. But some women actually use it for other reasons like less painful periods, PMS relief and relief from endometriosis.  Yes, Mr. Huckabee – medical reasons beyond just limiting the number of unwanted pregnancies and children.   God forbid that birth control be covered by health insurance companies. What could be worse than that?  I don’t know… maybe a prescription drug commercial ending with the phrase “if an erection lasts longer than 4 hours seek medical attention”?  But that is what this is really all about.   It’s not about fighting for women’s rights.  It’s not even about fighting for the life of the unborn.  It’s about sex.  Specifically it’s about sex being ok for men but not women.  And honestly, Mr. Huckabee, that makes it even more difficult to understand why Republicans hate the gays. Hell if it were up to me, I would have insurance companies pay for condoms and early pregnancy test sticks too.  One would reduce the number of STDs and the other would save those Palins a lot of money.  Poor things up there in Alaska just waiting for Aunt Flo to fly in on a bomber from Russia…

Now if Mr. Huckabee would like to redefine the war on women, I’m all for it.  But let’s call it what it really is – the hunt for Red November Voters.  So I have a solution.   If you believe women should have the freedom to decide when and how often to bring children into the world, vote for your friendly Democrat – preferably a female.   If you would prefer that sex exists simply as a means to procreate, vote for Huckabee or any other old, white Republican.  

Now, if you actually believe that men will abide by that no-sex-rule, please don’t vote at all because the new computerized voting machines might be too difficult for you to understand. I mean it.  Really.

margaret-mug1 From Margaret:.

Aunt Flo?  Now I haven’t heard that one in many a year. Nowadays, the kids call it Shark Week. And if you ask me, that’s what has Mr. Huckabee so scared.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 31, 2013

2013 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 470,000 times in 2013. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 20 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2013

Dear Family,

This war on Thanksgiving has gone too far.  Bacon, butter, sugar and cream are as important to Thanksgiving as the damn turkey.  Vegetarians, God help them, have always managed to graze through my table and find enough to satisfy them.  And if they stumbled upon a piece of bacon or two… well nobody has died in all the years I’ve put this meal on the table. But this latest request for a gluten-free meal has gone too far.   A gluten-free Thanksgiving is like a rainy day – gray and soggy.  I ain’t gonna do it, honey. Get mad, get glad or scratch your ass, it don’t make a difference to me.  My Thanksgiving meal will have some gluten in it just as sure as a pig’s ass is pork.  And we just might have some of that, too.

The holidays are not a time for dieting.  This family has tried more diets than I can shake a stick at and somehow we still manage to have more backside than most.  If you’re worried about how many calories are in my meal, I suggest you park your car a mile from the house and walk your fat ass the rest of the way.  It’s not what you’re eating sweetie.  It’s the fact that your sofa has become the new playground and your children spend more time on their electronic devices than your grandpa did on the pot.  Gluten free my ass.  Get out and get some fresh air and sunshine.

And now that we have that out of the way, let’s get down to brass tacks.

1.)    Your children can have as much soda and cookies as they please.  This is grandma’s house for goodness sakes.

 2.)    Your cell phones at Thanksgiving are about as useful as a pocket on the back of your shirt.  If you actually have one of those, put your cellphone there because if I see it at the dinner table, you won’t see it again until Christmas.

 3.)    Mary is pregnant again.  Everyone bring an extra pie.  And somebody keep an eye on her other rugrats.  I swear, those kids could trip over a cordless phone.

 4.)    Iced tea without sugar is like Thanksgiving without gluten.  I think I’ve said enough on that subject.

 5.)    The stuffing has bacon.  It also has bacon grease and butter.  I dare you not to have seconds.

 6.)    Rhonda, honey, you’re wife number two.  WE can talk about number one but you can’t.  Just be thankful there’s not a number three.

 7.)    Brian and Sylvia, when I told you not to bring anything, I meant it.  If Cloe is not allowed to bring her Jell-O crap, you are not allowed to bring your fruit cake, your zucchini bread or your cleverly disguised broccoli in pasta salad.  I serve the same meal my mother did fifty years ago.  When I die, you can decide if you want to carry on the tradition. Until then, bring just yourself and an appetite.

 8.)    Gluten.  You probably don’t even know what it is.

 At my age, every meal could be my last.  I’m thankful we’ll be having this one together again.  Let’s make the most of it.  Turkey, stuffing, gravy, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, green beans, cranberry sauce, homemade bread, pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pie, more pie…   What’s not to like?  In memory of your Grandfather, the back yard has horseshoes and the back fridge has beer.  Drink until it is gone.  The damn stuff is probably ripe with gluten, but I prefer wine anyway.  One from each family needs to be the designated driver.  I mean it really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 24, 2013

Ted Cruz could start an argument in an empty house

helen-mug1 FROM HELEN:

Margaret is it just me or have the Republicans all gone bat shit crazy? First they are screaming bloody murder about Obamacare and then they complain because people are having trouble signing up for Obamacare. Do they want the thing more alive so they can enjoy killing it? Or are they just upset because Obama is still black? I suggest it’s the latter but I sure as hell know this – these days if a Republican politician’s lips are moving, he’s lying.

They close the government and then complain when government-funded national parks are closed. They whine about activist judges but then run to the Supreme Court when elections don’t go their way. They scream for freedom and then make it harder for people to vote. They complain about the liberal media but then spend all their time getting interviewed by Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. They take issue with Obama being born in Hawaii with a Kenyan for a father, but have absolutely no problems with Ted Cruz being born in Canada with a Cuban for a father. Now on that last one, I half agree. In truth, I have no issue with either birth certificate. But I never did fancy hypocrisy much. These days, the Republican platform is so crooked it could get lost behind a cork screw.

Honey, I get it. The web page for Obamacare is a piece of shit. So let’s fix it. But speaking of a piece of shit, how in the hell did Texas produce yet another political moron? I wonder if Ted Cruz knows that Texas leads the nation in uninsured Americans. Rick Perry sure as hell doesn’t. Texas also leads the nation in gun purchases… in carbon pollution… in repeat teen births… and in homeschooling. OK. Maybe that last one isn’t a big deal, but something tells me the last two are connected. Anyone think it’s a coincidence that Texas also has a Republican super-majority in its State Capitol?

If Ted Cruz is so committed to killing Obamacare, why is he so upset that the website isn’t up to snuff? You’d think he’d be celebrating. But then again Ted Cruz could start an argument in an empty house. I’m sorry, but I just don’t trust that man. He looks like something the dog’s been keeping under the porch.

The problem is that Republicans are so worried that if America does well with a Democrat in the White House, Americans won’t vote for a Republican in the next election. Funny how soon they forget who got elected after Clinton left the White House. Of course, I often try to forget that too. I mean it. Really.

margaret-mug1 FROM MARGARET

Helen it’s not you. It’s cable news. Stop watching it. Go on a cruise instead. Just not one named Ted.

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Margaret, the Republicans are trying to blame this shutdown on everyone but themselves. It’s the Senate Democrats fault for not negotiating. It’s President Obama’s fault for being black. It’s my fault for not voting for McCain and Palin. Well honey, somebody needs to tell them that dog just don’t hunt.

In 2008, a hell of a lot of people voted for the candidate who campaigned on overhauling healthcare – something the nation had been debating for decades. You young ones might remember back in the 90’s how the Republicans cut Clinton off at the knees over this. But I remember Truman’s efforts back in the 40’s and 50’s. Of course, back then the Republicans screamed Communism rather than Socialism. Although, I’m pretty sure no one asked for Truman’s birth certificate. He was white after all. But the point is that Republicans claiming we haven’t had a debate is… well… like I said, that dog just don’t hunt.

But even if your memory isn’t as long as mine, surely the 2012 elections ring a bell? We debated for months about Mitt Romney’s universal healthcare plan… No wait. I mean repealing Mitt Romney’s universal healthcare plan. No. That’s not right either. It was Romneycare or Obamacare and now that they lost the election it’s become We Don’t Care. And I’m pretty sure there was a Supreme Court decision in there somewhere. During all that, Democrats agreed to a drastically reduced federal budget and some initial delays and exemptions to the Affordable Care Act. And yet, Republicans have shut down the government because we Dems just won’t negotiate. Well that just dills my pickle! What we’ve got is a bunch of know-nothing Tea Party Idiots who think the sun comes up just to hear them crow.

Michele Bachmann and friends can pose in front of a war memorial all they want pretending their not the ones who closed it. Clearly, they take us for fools. Well as the wife of a WWII veteran, I’d like to introduce my rather large foot to their sorry asses. I can promise you my late husband is rolling over in his grave knowing that affordable healthcare for 40 million people has shut down the very government he fought to defend. And shame on me for making fun of the way someone looks, but just what the hell is going on with that woman’s hair? It looks like it caught fire and someone put it out with a brick.

The problem as I see it is that the Republicans have lots of excuses but no real ideas. Well excuses are like backsides. Everybody’s got one and they usually stink. And unless you’re a dog, sniffing around backsides gets old real quick. I mean it. Really.

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