Margaret, normally we can find a little humor in everything. I think that’s why we’ve outlived almost everyone we know.  But the Republican Party has gotten to a place where even humor doesn’t make them palatable.

If I hear one more Republican deliver the talking point that America doesn’t need a continuation of Obama’s failed policies… Well I’d say I’d pull my hair out, but I want to hang on to what little I have left.

So with all humor aside…

Fact: the economy is amazingly robust with over 12 million new jobs created under Obama, a stock market that has more than doubled, and deficits that have been cut by two-thirds.

Fact: the Middle East has been screwed up for generations but it’s better off than when George Bush and Dick Cheney were calling the shots.

Fact: Obamacare has been remarkably successful  with health care inflation at the lowest rate in nearly 50 years. 

Fact: Carly Fiorina failed at HP just as she failed to realize Planned Parenthood  is more popular than the NRA and the Republican Party.

Opinion: Gay weddings are actually quite well done and it’s been nice to see Americans excited about wedding ceremonies happening outside of a London cathedral .   And by the way, the Republican front runner has been married three times more than the Democrat.

Like it or not, Obama is a highly popular President as are Former Presidents Clinton and Carter.  Meanwhile  both Bush’s are as lost as last year’s Easter egg.

The Republicans can go on believing that we don’t want a continuation of Obama’s policies, but from where I sit that dog just don’t hunt.  Why in the hell are we trying to find a Democrat who can work with Republicans when even Republicans can’t work with Republicans.  That whole damn party is so useless if they actually could come up with a good idea, it would die of loneliness.

And I really, really wish CNN would point that out every time  they have another delusional Republican spokesperson on as an expert.  I mean it.  Really. 

helen-mug1 HELEN:

Margaret, within minutes of the President saying that he would be accused of politicizing this latest shooting, right on schedule Fox News accused him of politicizing it.  I swear the yahoos over at that network could start an argument all alone in an empty room.

How many times does a President have to go on television to ask for our prayers and our thoughts  before our elected officials decide to pass sensible gun laws? Why in the world do we think it should be easier and less expensive  to get guns than it is to get mental health treatment?

Crazy people fire guns at will these days and politicians have nothing to say except our thoughts and prayers are with the victims.  But a women makes the private decision to end an unwanted or unhealthy pregnancy and those same politicians cry murder and pass laws faster than a hot knife through butter.

It occurs to me that if Planned Parenthood would just shoot the fetus with a gun maybe the Republicans would let women have control over their own bodies.   Now I know how awful that sounds, but it’s no crazier than all those NRA-card-carrying idiots who are now warning the government to keep their hands off our guns while just a few days ago they pulled Cecile  Richards into a hearing to talk about the government getting its hands on a women’s uterus.

The hypocrisy of their actions is as appalling as what I just wrote. Then again, I’m not an elected official.

If they cared so much about life, they’d work as hard to get rid of guns as they do to get rid of Planned Parenthood. But I fear the only life they care about is the one that will vote for them during the next election. Sadly, I mean that. Really.

margaret-mug1 MARGARET:

Helen, dear, either you have fallen and hit your head again or you’re just still upset by this season’s Dancing with the Stars cast. Either way, I can tell that you are all fired up once again. Heaven help those in your line of fire, dear.

Margaret, all I can say is a clown car pulled up to the Reagan Library and a whole lot of stupid came tumbling out.  And the one female representative on stage spent the evening lying while calling the front runner a liar.  There were just too many asshats to talk about each of them, but here is my best attempt to talk about some of them…

If Donald Trump really thinks Carly Fiorina has a pretty face, then my late husband really thought I had a skinny ass.  Both are bad at lying.  My point really being, who gives a crap? This isn’t one of Trump’s beauty pageants.  These are the people who want to become the next President of the United States.  Never in my life would I have believed that things could be worse than Sarah Palin.

Donald, honey, Mexicans are not all bad any more than Americans are all good.  Kim Davis, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, George Bush… need I say more?  In life we have to take the good with the bad, but I would suggest that if you look for the good in people, you might actually find the good in people.  Sometimes I should take my own advice, but this lot of candidates makes it very hard to see the good in the GOP.

Love him or hate him, Donald is the front-runner because he embodies the beliefs of the current Republican Party.  He’s quick to fight.  He hates people who are not like him. He judges women by the way they look. He thinks a big wallet excuses all faults.  Sound familiar?  If the Republicans don’t want him as a front-runner, then maybe they should take another look at their party’s platform.

And speaking of that party’s platform, how the hell did a woman end up there?  Oh that’s right.  She has a lot of money and she hates women.   Republicans, including Fiorina, opposed the Lilly Ledbetter Act, the Family Medical Leave Act,  paid sick-leave and pay-check equity.  Carly might have been a woman once but today Caitlyn Jenner has more X  chromosomes.

If Carly is going to use edited videos to make her point, maybe she should actually watch the edited videos which clearly she did not.  There is no footage of a fetus kicking and screaming while Planned Parenthood plots to harvest its brain.  As a woman, why lie about an organization that does more to help women in a day than you will ever do in a lifetime?  It was like watching an episode of Finding Bigfoot.  They never find one but gosh by golly they sure do think it’s real. I think women all over the world heard very clearly what Carly said, and most of them called bullshit.  And good Lord but she always looks madder than a wet hen.  Honey, have you given any thought to what being a Republican woman is doing to your health? Oh that’s right.  You don’t care about the health of women.  You want to defund Planned Parenthood.

If you have to lie about Planned Parenthood to make your point, maybe your making the wrong point. And speaking of making the wrong point…

Jeb Bush said his brother kept us safe. Jeb! Bless his heart.  Jeb’s so useless if he had a third hand he’d need an extra pocket to stick it in.   I’m sorry your mother didn’t love you enough.  Get over it or get some therapy.  Either way, I agree with your mother about one thing.  We don’t need another Bush in the White House.

Marco Rubio.  Chris Christie.  Rand Paul.  The professor and Mary Ann… On this Trump and I agree.  Why were any of them  even up there?

I could go on, but then this story would be as long as that debate.  And that would not be a good thing.  I mean it. Really.

Margaret, I had a hell of a good time watching the news last night.  Sending that Davis girl to jail has the GOP madder than a wet hen.  Huckabee says that Christianity has now been criminalized in America.  That asshat Ted Cruz called it Judicial Tryanny.  And Rand Paul warned that local governments might just have to get out of the marriage business.  Lord I sure wish the rapture would finally happen so the rest of us could get back to enjoying a world with fewer idiots in it.

Speaking of idiots, Trump said he really didn’t know much about it.  Bless his heart. She’s not Mexican or Chinese so Donald didn’t know what to say.

Now I feel for little Kim Davis.  I really do.  Poor thing looks like something the dog’s been hiding under the porch.  But that’s what four marriages, three divorces and a few kids out of wedlock can do to a person with strong moral convictions.

My, my but Huckabee, Cruz, Paul and the rest of them have certainly lowered the bar on sacrifice these days.  Used to be you had to actually die a horrible death to become a martyr.  Now you just have to be a hypocrite who ignores the law and  refuses to do your job.  Somehow I think Christianity wouldn’t have caught on so well without the cross.  Sadly, the man on that cross preached tolerance, forgiveness, love and something about doing on to others…  Makes you wonder how Kim would have felt if a Catholic County Clerk had refused to issue her that fourth marriage license.

Here’s the oath Kim took when she was elected.  (Warning, this is Kentucky we’re talking about so it gets a little odd in the middle.  Just pay attention to the beginning and the end):

“I do solemnly swear (or affirm, as the case may be) that I will support the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of this Commonwealth, and be faithful and true to the Commonwealth of Kentucky so long as I continue a citizen thereof, and that I will faithfully execute, to the best of my ability, the office of County Clerk according to law; and I do further solemnly swear (or affirm) that since the adoption of the present Constitution, I, being a citizen of this State, have not fought a duel with deadly weapons within this State nor out of it, nor have I sent or accepted a challenge to fight a duel with deadly weapons, nor have I acted as second in carrying a challenge, nor aided or assisted any person thus offending, so help me God.”

Now I don’t know anything about that dueling part, but she started by solemnly swearing to support the constitution and then ended with a “so help me God“.  I think that makes giving out marriage licenses to people legally allowed to get married part of faithfully executing the office of the County Clerk. Anyone disagree?  And if she isn’t willing to fulfill her duties then so help me God she can step down.

Funny thing in all of this… Kim says she’s a Democrat.  Well as far as I’m concerned, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and uses religion to justify hate, then it’s a member of the GOP by default. I mean it.  Really.

Margaret, here is the thing about religion: Faith is a wonderful thing until it becomes certainty; at which point it becomes fanaticism.  If there was only one true religion, fanaticism wouldn’t be all that bad.  But there’s the rub, honey. Not only are there many different religions; there are many different versions of each religion. These days  religious beliefs are like a backside.  Everyone’s got one and often times they stink.

If you’re a Baptist, you probably shouldn’t work at a liquor store or a dance hall.  If you’re a Catholic, you probably shouldn’t work at Planned Parenthood or any organization that thinks women should have a voice.  And if you’re an idiot, you probably shouldn’t get yourself  elected as a County Clerk in Kentucky.

My late husband was Catholic.  I am a Methodist.  I cooked and he did the dishes.  Thank God we didn’t live in Kentucky because he would have starved and I would have had dishpan hands.

If we can’t all get along in the name of Jesus then can we get along? I don’t know, but imagine asking that question in the Middle East much less the middle of Eastern Kentucky.  Of one thing I am certain:  I’d rather live my life believing there is a God and finding out there isn’t, than believing there is no God only to find out there is.  The problem is that some want to make a dialogue out of what is essentially a monologue. And some so badly want to have a conversation with God that often they decide to make up his part of that conversation as well.

My religious beliefs don’t have to affect your religious beliefs.  In fact, you can even have no beliefs and we can still be friends and agree to live  and let live.  That, my friend, is what having faith really means. And I really do mean that.  Really. 

Margaret, let’s be clear.  I am obviously using the term vagina in the narrowest sense of the word as defined by the Republican Party: a noun referring to women.  And it was pretty clear at the debate that vaginas  have no value unless a baby needs to pass through one on its way to church or its minimum wage job.  Of course, if that baby is black or brown, then the intended destination changes to either prison or Mexico respectively.

I don’t pretend to think that any of the presidential candidates will ever read what I write, but if they did I hope they will remember this:  

Millions of women have been going to Planned Parenthood for nearly 100 years.  We all remember the exceptional care and the quality of the information we received from the staff at those clinics. We remember when Planned Parenthood staff held our hands and comforted us during some of our scariest moments.  We remember the relief we felt when they provided us with medically accurate information that we so desperately needed.  And women of my age also remember what it was like when safe, legal abortions were not available.

Contrary to what Republican men think, none of us ever went into a Planned Parenthood for a well woman exam, cancer screening or birth control  and mistakenly had an abortion instead.  We know what Planned Parenthood is and that is why we love and support its mission.

And in 100 years, millions of women have trusted and supported Planned Parenthood much the same way Republicans blindly trust and support the NRA.  So to the Republican Presidential Candidates I say in the only words they seem to understand: You can close Planned Parenthood when you pry it from our cold, dead hands. I mean it.  Really.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | July 31, 2015

When Did Pro Life Become Pro Lies?

Margaret, this Planned Parenthood scandal seems to be all hat and no cattle – something I’ve come to expect more and more from the religious right. If honesty isn’t your best policy then join the Rebublucan party and make some shit up.

Here’s the story in a nutshell. (The key word being nut.) People who are upset about abortions are also upset about people talking about abortions. Wow. Someone call Fox News. We’ve got a story here. If we can’t make abortions illegal, let’s make talking about them illegal.

How about this instead… 

I’m a nurse so I get that doctors, in particular, don’t have the best bedside manners when it comes to talking about the science of healthcare. Yes. It’s a science. I didn’t so much appreciate the way they talked about my breasts when I was diagnosed with cancer. They were my breasts after all, but the way my doctor talked about them you would have thought they weren’t attached to my body. So I get it.  My late husband, Harold, felt the same way about testicular cancer.

But that isn’t a crime. It might be a crying shame but not a crime. Do I wish that the doctors in those videos displayed a little more compassion? Sure. But do I think the greater show of compassion is respecting the privacy and personal decisions of women to manage their own healthcare? Damn right I do.

These videos disturbed me at first glance. But on closer inspection, they bore me. The group behind them is all hat and no cattle. All sizzle and no steak. All Christian and no Christ. I mean it. Really.

Margaret, the news has just been fast and furious this week.  One fugitive dead and one still on the run.  ISIS attacks in France, Kuwait and Tunisia.  Donald Trump becoming the new leader of  the Tea Party.   I wonder what flag that Confederacy of Dunces will fly now that the Stars and Bars is being removed?  Oh and something about a trade bill being passed and God hating America.   That last one seems to be getting the most play over on Fox News.  Never in my life did I think I would live long enough to see the gays persecuting the Christians instead of the other way around.   That was actually a Fox Exclusive!

I read somewhere that Glen Beck has 10,000 to 20,000  pastors ready to die before gay marriage would become legal.   Funny.  I haven’t seen any obituaries printed.  Religious conviction has its limits I guess, but that really is one herd I would love to see thinned.  Of course if a government is able to show more compassion than your church, maybe you should join another church.

It’s just so odd that all this hatred and discrimination seems to be emanating from a bunch of Republicans who claim to represent Jesus.  Now there is a conundrum. As a Christian politician do you abide by the law of the land and treat others with love and respect or do you follow the teachings of Jesus and treat others with love and respect?  Such a dilemma.

I look forward to the day the Supreme Court rules that a political party can’t have a monopoly on God.  I mean it really.


Margaret, is it a sad day, indeed.  I was just reading the news about how America has gone against the word of God with the latest Supreme Court ruling.  I am just beside myself.  If any of those judges were to just read the bible, they would clearly see the error of their judgment in the Book of Leviticus.

Thou shalt not cut your hair roundwise: nor shall you shave your beard. (Chapter 19 Verse 27)

No. Wait a minute.  That’s not it.  It’s another chapter.  That one was used by the court when they ruled on Supercuts vs. Bad Hair Days.

Let’s see.  Oh yes, here it is:

Thou shalt not eat shrimp or lobster.  (Chapter 11 Verse 9)

Darn.  That’s not it either.  That one was used when the court ruled on The Olive Garden vs. Red Lobster.

Where is it?  Oh yes.  Leviticus Chapter 18.  Here it is:

Thou shalt not approach a women during menstruation. (Verse 19)

On second thought, Margaret, I am not sure what all the fuss is about.  If you don’t agree with gay marriage, don’t marry someone with a roundwise haircut and serve shrimp at the reception.

So now that we have that settled, let’s get back to what is really important… Racism and Hate Groups.

I tend to agree with the President.  That Confederate Flag belongs in a museum.   But freedom of expression is very important, so I also agree with Senator Lindsey Graham who says that flag is “part of who we are” as South Carolinians.  And I struggle like all of the Republican Presidential Candidates do with offending everyone who flies the confederate flag.   I think individuals who want to display that flag should be able to hang it in the back window of their pick-ups for all to see.  That way, the rest of us will know that they are Republicans and can avoid uncomfortable political conversations with them over dinner at Red Lobster.

The way I see it, you can use your bible to justify hatred, and you can use the First Amendment to justify your right to express your hatred.   Or you could pull your head out of your ass and realize that you pick and choose which bible verse to quote with as much ignorance as you pick and choose which Republican Presidential Candidate to nominate.

Call me crazy, honey, but sometimes I wonder whatever happened to common sense.

I mean it.  Really.

Posted by: Helen Philpot | April 28, 2015

A Message to Whitey

Margaret – I had assumed if I wrote again, it would mostly likely be about Hillary.  But watching all this violence in Baltimore unfolding on the television moves me to write this instead.  Normally I would tell you that when it comes to racial issues, an old white woman from Georgia probably should keep her mouth shut and her opinion to herself.  In fact, that’s probably a good idea for white people everywhere because we really probably will just say a whole lot of stupid if we open our mouths right now.  But you know me, I have never known when to just shut up…


About 60 years ago my husband and I scraped together every penny we had to buy a small but lovely home in a safe neighborhood with good schools.  Our children had a lovely childhood.  They got a good education and always knew that going to college was an achievable goal.  The worst thing that ever happened in our neighborhood was a bad divorce or a scandalous affair.  Murders and robberies happened across town.  And when that happened we spoke of it in hushed tones as we smoked fancy cigarettes and drank iced tea on the back porch.   Our children all graduated from college, married and had families of their own. Our grandchildren are repeating the cycle and we even have some great-grandchildren who will continue to do well long after I am dead and gone.


About 60 years ago my husband and I would have tried to scrape together enough money to buy a small but lovely home in a safe neighborhood with good schools.  Unfortunately the banks would not approve a mortgage for us and the neighborhood we wanted was restricted anyway.  Our children would never truly feel the American dream was about them.  The schools they attended would be poorly funded and under-achieving in every way.  As hard as I tried to hide it from them, they would know that a life of crime, drugs and violence was a real possibility and it probably would pay better than any job they could get.  Fearing authority would come more easily than trusting it.  Some of them might overcome the odds but more than likely they would repeat a life of near poverty and almost but not quites…  College would be possible but nearly twice as many of their white friends would see that happen rather than their black friends.   They would have been called the n-word in various forms many times in their life and they would know that 1 in every 15 African American men are incarcerated in comparison to 1 in every 106 white men.  When my family eventually celebrated the election of the first black President… we would have done so knowing he might be the last for many years to come.   My grandchildren and great-grandchildren might fare slightly better, but only slightly and only if they were very lucky.

Having written this, I know I should probably erase and just turn off this computer.  But you know me… This Whitey really doesn’t fully understand what is happening in Baltimore.  What I have written here is not meant as an excuse for the violence, but it certainly is a reason to look beyond the violence and try to see the truths behind it.

I know there is no excuse for violence and that it won’t solve the problem.  I know that you don’t put out the fire in your kitchen by starting one in your living room.   But I also know I have never known and might never know someone in a gang.  And I personally will probably never know anyone who has been shot at or killed by a bullet outside of a war zone.  My life is very sheltered and my opinion is, therefore, very narrow.

The images I see on television don’t even remotely relate to my reality. I am old but not so old that this is posthumous but definitely post-humorous. Yes.  I really should have just kept my opinion to myself.  Unfortunately, a 24-hour never-ending news cycle made that very, very hard to do.  I mean it… Really.

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