Advertisements
Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 24, 2019

Did anyone else realize we are building a wall in Colorado? Old Mexicans. New Mexicans. @realDonaldTrump hates all Mexicans. #ColoradoWall

Margaret, nobody is perfect. Lord knows I’ve been known to have a mental lapse every now and then. Like when I thought Tulsi Gabbard might have some good ideas to add to the debates. She didn’t and that’s ok. I’m a big enough person to admit when I’m wrong. Having that capacity – that strength – to admit your mistakes, learn from them, grow from them, and then move on – well that’s actually a sign of good character. Which is exactly the reason why I can say without a doubt that Donald J. Drumpf, the 45th (gulp) President of these United States must have a really, really, really tiny penis.

Now hear me out…

Yesterday, Donald told a crowd of idiots that he was building a wall in New Mexico. He isn’t, but that’s not the point of this story. And for those of you who are upset that I just arbitrarily called the entire crowd idiots, just hang in there. I’ll make my case.

Trump told the room full of morons – I mean idiots – that he was building a wall in New Mexico. And then he added that he was building a wall in Colorado. And then in Texas… Wait. What? Colorado? He’s building a wall in Colorado? Yep. That’s what he said. And apparently it’s “a big one that really works.” He then joked about not building one in Kansas. And thank goodness about that because Oklahoma already feels insecure enough. Being cut off from Trump’s United States would just be rubbing salt in those Sooner wounds.

But about that wall in Colorado…

Why Colorado? Does Trump think that Colorado is a border state? Or does he really just hate ALL Mexicans? Old Mexicans. New Mexicans. You know, all those brown people illegally immigrating from Santa Fe and Albuquerque and places farther south. The rapists and the drug dealers with their turquoise jewelry and Hatch green chilis. Or maybe Trump just isn’t very smart.

And speaking of not very smart… Remember the room full of idiots? At the mention of a wall in Colorado they all leapt to their feet and applauded. Hot damn. Trump is gonna build that there wall in Colorado. A big one that really works. That’ll keep out those… those Mex… those New Mex… those (how do you spell that sound a trombone makes?)

Calling them idiots is a compliment. It was mostly a room full of white men with straight lines for family trees. Dear lord let’s hope they all have slow swimming sperm so the tree trunk can just stop right there with that last red baseball cap. If your family tree has no branches, that red hat comes in handy due to the lack of shade.

Now it’s bad enough that Trump can’t place Colorado on a map. And like I said, nobody is perfect. But this guy, this stable genius can’t admit when he’s wrong. Ever. EVER! A few hours later, the asshat tweets out an explanation that he was just kidding about building a wall in Colorado just like he was kidding about not building a wall in Kansas. He was (and I quote) “referring to the people in the very packed auditorium from Colorado and Kansas, getting the benefit of the border wall.”

What. The. F…

He couldn’t just admit that he was wrong. He couldn’t just say that he had made a mistake. Did I mention that he was giving this speech in this packed auditorium full of people from Colorado and Kansas… did I mention it was in Pennsylvania? Now to his credit it was Pittsburgh which is on the far western side of Pennsylvania. That’s only a mere 1,400 miles from Denver and a quick 900 miles from Topeka. All those folks from Colorado and Kansas probably commute daily. Whenever politicians want to score points in Pittsburgh they make it a point to throw red meat to the hoards of voters from Colorado and Kansas. Really. It’s a thing.

If you can’t ever admit when you are wrong, why in the hell should we ever believe you when you insist you are right? I think just maybe it’s because you are almost never right. And I doubt you give a shit.

Bless his heart. The problem with Donald J. Trump isn’t just that he’s an idiot. The problem with Donald J. Trump is that he’s an idiot who also lacks character. And still worse, he’s the most insecure person I’ve ever known. All those stories about how he’s the greatest this and the only that and the perfect phone calls. What the hell is a perfect phone call? Did Ukraine accept the charges? Did it end with an I love you?

No, Mr. Trump you are not the only President in history to donate his salary. Hoover and Kennedy did.

No, Mr. Trump you haven’t been treated worse than any other President ever. Four sitting Presidents have been assassinated while in office.

No, Mr. Trump your crowds aren’t the biggest ever. Your words aren’t the best ever. Your phone call wasn’t perfect. And your hotels aren’t the best locations for G-7 summits.

Just stop being a total piece of shit and admit when you are wrong. Is that so hard? Are you really that insecure? My god, just how small must your penis be? I mean how serious a problem can we be dealing with here? Can someone help me out? Ivana? Marla? Melania? Stormy? Ivanka? Russian Hooker #4? How bad is it?

And to the entire GOP – is this really the ship you want to go down with? This guy? The guy so insecure he flipped off the female astronauts who politely corrected his incorrect statement about females who have walked in space? That’s your guy? The guy with the bad combover and the cheap suits made in China? The guy who just brought our soldiers home from Syria by selling them to Saudi Arabia? The guy who last year said the Kurds were our friends and is now abandoning them because they didn’t help us in World War II?

You don’t follow that guy. You impeach that guy.

And for the record, the various congressional committees that have been investigating a possible impeachment have members from BOTH parties. The Republicans have NOT been shut out of the process. Sure Matt Gaetz has been shut out, but that‘s only because he sits on the Asshats With DUI’s Committee which isn’t a part of the impeachment inquiry.

That little third grade stunt yesterday where GOP congressmen stormed a closed hearing room was just that- a stunt. And it was the worst display of poor statesmanship since Joe Wilson yelled “You Lie” at Obama during a joint address to congress. Grow the hell up. You are supposed to be the nation’s leaders.

If this is the best the Republican Party has to offer, then maybe Tulsi Gabbard should come out as a Republican. How hard could it be to shine in that chandelier of dimwits?

And if you are a Democrat, I am begging you. No matter who gets the nomination. We all get our asses out to the voting booth and vote blue no matter who. Even you Tulsites. There will be no Jill Stein mistakes this year. Because America can’t take another four years of this shithead. I mean it. Really.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Enablers of Trump…it reminds me of the song about the lady who swallowed a spider to catch the fly…. https://petersironwood.com/2019/10/31/rip-gop/

    Like

  2. Oh my, I missed you so much…don’t do that again!

    Like

  3. Actually, everyone I’ve talked to in Hawaii are NOT Tulsi fans either. We don’t trust her at all and most think of her as self-serving. As for that Trump wall, did you hear that drug smugglers have already cut holes in it with reticulating saws? Tsk! What a waste of money that wall is!

    Like

  4. […] Now go read it. I mean it. Really. […]

    Like

  5. […] you need convincing, here’s the start of the current post. Now go read it. I mean it. […]

    Like

  6. You have been missed Helen! Thanks for this post. We needed it. Hope all was well. One thing is really pissing me off. How ignorant could our republican lawmakers be regarding obtaining the whistleblower’s identity? The laws enacted by Congress are supposed to offer protection to such individuals. They should know better. It is just so disheartening to be witnessing such state of affairs, legislators not knowing or abiding by the laws on the books. Sad indeed!

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Although I follow you on Twitter, I have so missed your posts!

    Like

  8. This 80 year old in Australia says a hearty “Amen” to that.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I will hold my nose if necessary, and vote for any DEMOCRAT that runs. I will NOT vote for ANY non-Democrats, or people who support them. Period.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thank you for posting, I’ve missed you! I always put your posts on my FB page so others can enjoy. Please, keep on sharing your thoughts. Peace and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. New Hampshire used to be the reddest state in New England. Then, a s**t load of Mass Hats move here and the state turned blue. If only there was a wall at the state line 30 years ago. Someone tell Peach Head its still 1980 up here. Never too late to cash in on the wall craze.

    Like

  12. When one of his “base” gets in your face, start asking questions such as did you ever take a history class in high school. You would be amazed at how many did not! How that happens is really beyond me but I guess there are “special programs” in some school systems. That would mean they are shoveling out each year at graduation as many as they can in order to look good. That only means we the people have to suffer these lug nuts when they call us elitists because we can damn read!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. it’s been too long since my last dose of Helen and Margaret. Give ’em hell, ladies.

    Like

  14. AMEN!

    Like

  15. Thank you! Enjoyed the read very much!

    Like

  16. Oh, thank you, thank you so much! My dear friend of many, many years passed away a year ago. We both knew what the Golden Gibbon was like from many years back and it sickened us to see him desecrate the office, the Constitution and this country. When all of this impeachment action revved up with a boatload of evidence thanks to the whistleblower, I can tell you that she was probably laughing so hard in Heaven that the angels must have had a hard time tuning their harps! Now even more R Senators are cutting the umbilical and finally getting in touch with their vertebrae! The only “sad” thing about this is that this guy could end up making Nixon look like a Boy Scout!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Thanks for posting, Sherie – I certainly HOPE that the world can remember that the hearts of so many Americans are most assuredly not “this.” Even at our most xenophobic, most of us are not cruel, completely self-centered, thoughtless, without compassion, or feel that we have no responsibility to our neighbors, wherever they may be. For the last three-plus years, we have been told, over and over again, that “patriotism” equals isolationism; that “strangers” are “enemies”; that corruption is “smart”; that differences are dangerous; and that truth is “fake” if you happen to not like it. It will take a very long time for us to return to who we believe ourselves to be. We will need all our strength to do so. Thank you for your support!

    Like

  18. Well said…..I pray that Trump is impeached or loses the next election as I don’t want to die with him as prez or witness the disaster another 4 years of this idiot will create.

    Like

  19. I love you, Helen. Please keep on keepin’ on!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I am so happy you are back..as are so many others. As I read your post it became clear to me that what you write gives me hope. I have realized the brilliance of your writing but not that the emotion I felt was hope until this post came out. Thanks for telling how it is and in a language we all understand and appreciate. I am Canadian but we follow your politics very closely given that we are your closest ally and we share a very large border. We are dependent on one another for so much. We see what is happening to your democracy and feel the pain with you. The greatest county in the world has become a laughing stock but I also think the world knows the true heart of Americans and it is not this.
    This was perhaps your best and absolutely brilliant posting. In my heart of hearts I hope the Dumpster reads your posts. I can just imagine the antics if he does. Now that would make a good SNL skit.
    Thanks for coming back.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. […] wrong with someone who ties himself and his administration into pretzel shaped knots because he can’t ever, ever be wrong, even about little mistakes that can’t possibly be m-m-m-mistakes. Because … Trump. […]

    Like

  22. Love you!!!!

    Like

  23. as a denizen of Oklahoma…please, please let him build a wall at Kansas………….lol

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Hallelujah! Well said!!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. You and your posts brighten my day. Thanks for telling it like it is.

    Like

  26. It’s PITTSBURGH! We have an H at the end of our name. This is a forgivable error, and I admit, I have difficulty spelling Cinncinnatti or Cincinnati or whatever it’s called. I am not angry, just pointing out a very common error. And I love your column, by the way. You can spell Pittsburgh however you like. I am dead certain the Ass in the White House can’t spell it, or find it on a map, or tell you what state we’re in, or tell his ass from his elbow.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Hello! If I may ask. I’ve heard rumors Pounce almost got suspended from HS at one point because he assaulted an autistic student. Are there other items not known in the press? I mean this guy is in line for president. Thanks.

    Like

  28. Good to hear from you!

    Like

  29. Goodness, Helen.  The language and whatever of an old lady…..I am right along with you, at age 76. He has made me use words that would have killed my Mother and my 2 grandmothers. Hopefully civil times will return when this arsehole is gone gone gone……and he MUST take dense with him. We know him well here in Indiana. I am always thrilled to see you in writing. Fran

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Reblogged this on silverapplequeen and commented:
    It’s been TOO LONG since I read a Margaret & Helen post & here’s a doozy! Enjoy, readers! Enjoy!

    Like

  31. THANK YOU for staying the obvious!

    Like

  32. So glad to hear from you again! You really nailed it with this one.

    Like

  33. I sincerely love you❤️

    Like

  34. This has got to be one of your best ever. Thank you.

    Like

  35. What the fuck is this bullshit? Fuck you and your racist anti-Trump rhetoric.

    I tried to objectively view this from a liberal position and it was not funny you Fucking Dolt. Colorado is a border state. Who the fuck doesn’t know that? The Rocky Mountains go all the way into Mexico you idiots.

    Like

  36. Wonderful stuff! Welcome back

    Liked by 1 person

  37. “How hard could it be to shine in that chandelier of dimwits?” Ah, Helen, had I not already loved thee, that woulda done it.

    Like

  38. Here’s a few laughs for you:)

    >

    Like

  39. OK – all you ever wanted to know about Pittsburgh!!

    Pittsburg, California.
    Pittsburg, Florida.
    Pittsburg, Kansas, Crawford County.
    Pittsburg Township, Mitchell County, Kansas.
    Pittsburg, New Hampshire.
    Pittsburg, Oklahoma.
    Pittsburg County, Oklahoma.
    Former spelling of Pittsburgh, a large city in Pennsylvania.

    Municipal documents always used the latter spelling. … The city was chartered in 1816, its name being spelled without the ‘h’and its official form is still ‘Pittsburg’. The ‘h’ appears to have been added by the Post Office Department and through that action, local usage appears to have become divided.
    Dec 21, 2000

    The city was originally named to honor William Pitt the Elder, but it was General John Forbes who did the naming. His Scottish background is the reason for that extra “h”—think Edinburgh. To edit the spelling to the German “burg” was akin to editing the city’s founding.
    Oct 1, 2013
    Peace.

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Once again, you nailed it. From straight white men to his tiny tiny tiny penis. Thank you and write again soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Hey, Don’t worry one bit about spelling just concentrate on CONTENT like you did. This is akin to the Republicans focusing on process because they’re afraid of the content! YOU nailed that content, Babe!!!

    Like

  42. Man, Ladies! Where have YOU been? My husband and I have missed you. We had to watch Colbert (HA) to balance ourselves out because we missed your letters so much. OK, that is a lie, we watch him regularly. BUT, WE HAVE MISSED YOU! Please don’t wait so long….in this crazy nightmare of Trump….we need all we can get! Thanks.  Karen

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Amen! and Hallelujah! I agree with everything but especially the part about voting for the democrat no matter what or who!!!! Don’t split our vote and get this over with! The sooner the better!!

    Liked by 3 people

  44. It is spelled Pittsburgh!

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Thank you for putting it all in plain English for us! You gave me a good belly laugh with this one.

    Like

  46. CAN’T…STOP…LAUGHING!!!

    Like

  47. Missed your wise words Helen! Gaetz has his nose so far up 45s behind, he found Nunez. I would love to see a Warren/Buttigieg ticket just to see the brains – tiny as they are – to explode out of Conservatives’ heads. Imagine a pushy progressive woman and a gay man running for prez.

    Liked by 4 people

  48. Oh I have missed you ladies! Love the post!

    Liked by 1 person

  49. There is a Pittsburg in Kansas and a Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania.

    Liked by 1 person

  50. PA’s big town is Pittsburgh with an H. CA has the Pittsburg without. You have but one error. Donald Trump’s are marching towards infinity. Thank you for your trenchant commentary on this mess.

    Liked by 1 person

  51. Helen, everything you say is spot on, and I love you for it, except this: Pittsburg is in California; PittsburgH is in Pennsylvania.

    Keep up the good work, and don’t mince words!!

    Liked by 3 people

  52. So happy to know you have not abandoned us in our time of need. It’s been a long three year depression with this ^%$#*&@$! in in the WH. Will it end in the near future? If we continue down this path America as we know it will be just a memory. Thank you for being with us and for spreading some hope today.

    Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  53. The best piece I’ve read in a while that accurately describes the lunacy that is our nation’s leadership. My cat could do better leading the country than the resident idiot in charge.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Incomparable. Please keep writing the truth.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Was just thinking had not seen a post from you in ages! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  56. wasn’t that a hoot? saw dt saying that last night on msnbc’s all in with chris hays. mare

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  57. YAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  58. I can take a deep breath and now face the day. Thank you for your posts – you give me hope that what I am seeing and feeling is seen and felt by others. Yes – “Vote Blue – No Matter Who!” You are a treasure Helen.

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Exactly! Thank you, Helen.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. I ❤ you ladies

    Liked by 1 person

  61. This is without a doubt one of the posts I’ve seen on the sheer stupidity of Trump_The_Chump and his followers. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  62. So glad I signed up for email notifications when you post. Thanks for a wonderful morning read. Now I can face the day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  63. So glad I signed up for email notifications. Thanks for your most excellent piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  64. Can I just say, right on, sister! Never fails to amaze me how uninformed Trumps masses are, how brainwashed they are, and how embarrassing this President is.Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone

    Like

  65. A shining ray of hope is the dismal political atmosphere. Thank you for call a spade a spade and a dimwit a dimwit. Missed you and this column brightened my day and my faith in the ultimate process. A million than yous!

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Dear Helen,

    I adore you. I want to write just like you someday. Hell, I want to BE you (I just turned 60 and know how to use a zippy cart, so I’m not far behind).

    This is one of the best pieces of writing I’ve seen this year and given that I’m online several hours a day and read 250 books a year, that’s saying a lot.

    Thank you for sjaring your considerable wit.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Learned on a forum I frequent that there are Trump rally groupies. They follow him from one rally to another. They have badges to tell all how many they have been to. Glad I have a life

    Liked by 3 people

  68. Thank you Helen, and thanks for returning to the fray. I have missed you.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. All I candy is “Amen”

    Like

  70. AWESOME! Your best yet, and that’s saying a A LOT. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Love you Helen!

    Liked by 1 person

  72. “White men with straight lines for family trees.” That’s priceless and should become part of every discussion about Trump voters. Thanks for all the laughs the and the brilliant insight!

    Liked by 2 people

  73. Amen!

    Like

  74. Thank you. I was gonna say that : )

    Like

  75. AMEN!!!

    Like

  76. My world is a little brighter with you in it, Helen. I hope you and Margaret are well.

    Liked by 1 person

  77. Thank goodness for you ! You give me hope that the USA can turn around this debacle of government that sits in the White House and Senate. We are so thankful here in Canada that we held on to Prime Minister Trudeau and did not vote in our wannabe Trumper who was aided by dark money and MAGA forces.
    My whiney redneck province voted all blue [ conservative] but one, so now we have no one at the table. They do not know anything about world economics, nor do they care about diversity. They do not know fact from fiction and obviously didn’t pay attention when critical thinking was taught in school. God knows we tried. Uneducated, skill less citizens waiting for a miracle which will not happen. It is so sad and frightening.
    But we will resist and persevere.

    I’ve read here for a long time, but first time commenting. I realize I’ve been holding my breath since November 2016.

    Liked by 5 people

  78. You are far too kind to these idiots.

    Liked by 1 person

  79. Just last night I commented to my husband that it has been a while since the last Margaret and Helen post, and then, today, your latest gem appeared in my inbox. Thank you! I needed to hear your thoughts, and to be reminded that there are some kindred spirits out there.

    Liked by 2 people

  80. So good to hear from you, Helen, and this is a masterpiece!

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Brilliant. Now THIS was an absolutely spot-on PERFECT dissertation about the current asshat-in-chief.

    Liked by 2 people

  82. Is there a way to share this column to Facebook?

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  83. Fabulous. As always.

    Liked by 1 person

  84. So lovely to see a new post, and you are entirely correct. Brava!

    Liked by 1 person

  85. Thank you! Your columns are so needed now!

    Liked by 2 people

  86. As usual, you’re absolutely right. Thanks for the uplift!

    Liked by 1 person

  87. Back with a bang! Another great one!

    Liked by 1 person


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: