Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 1, 2009

Going Nuts

Hi Margaret.  Thanksgiving went better than expected.  Please tell your nephew that I want  another visit soon.  It was so good to have him with us this year.  He and Harold had a good time talking about the game, and his friend was such a help in the kitchen.  I am so sorry to hear that your sister-in-law’s turkey was not as tender and moist as mine.  Did she try the brine this year like I suggested?  And the butter and bacon in the dressing instead of nuts?  Butter and bacon.  Remember that.  You can make almost anything taste better with one or the other.  Honestly, Margaret, I have never understood her insistence on cornbread stuffing with nuts in it.  That combination would suck the moisture out of a Kleenex.   I just don’t know about you Yankees sometimes.  Stubborn as the day is long.  Nuts in your dressing.  I never…

Speaking of nuts, that dumb ass son-in-law of mine really did give me Sarah Palin’s book to review just like he said he would.  The very idea that somehow a gift to me actually put money in her pocket… well I just don’t know how I feel about that.  The only way I can stomach it at all is knowing that maybe my reviewing it here might prevent a few of our visitors from deciding to buy it to read themselves.

I’ll start reading it this week after I get my holiday cards out.  Surely it couldn’t be as bad as that Coulter crap I read a few months ago.  After all, it has all the makings of a fine novel:  a rags to riches story filled with heartwarming musings  about drilling for oil, raising your children’s children, and getting even with the world.  I even hear the main character is really a vampire.  A page turner for sure…

Tell Howard not to bother buying a copy for himself.  I’ll send him this one when I am done.  Maybe your sister-in-law could use it to stuff her turkey at Christmas!  I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 18, 2009

Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2009

Dear Family,

This year I am thankful to have you as my family rather than a normal American family.  I say that because Sarah Palin is fond of talking about her family being a normal American family.

Last time I checked everyone in my family knows where Africa is on a globe. Everyone goes to college after high school.  We’ve had no teen pregnancies as of yet and no one has appeared in Playgirl.  If the Palins are a normal American family, I guess my bunch of anti-American socialists are fine by me.

But we have our own issues.   For instance, some of us are Aggies and others are Longhorns.   Which makes for interesting choices for some of you.  If a football game is more important than Thanksgiving, then consider this my last will  and testament:  When I die, it’s all going to charity. 

Thanksgiving dinner will be moved to Friday after all of you have returned from your important tailgating party.  And now that I have made that little sacrifice, I am sure you will all work extra hard to comply with a few rules.

  1.  Cloe.  I am begging you honey.  None of that Jello crap.  No one eats it and the garbage stinks for a week after I throw it out.  You and Jello are like Palin and McCain.   How many times before you learn no one wants seconds much less firsts.
  2. Jennifer.  Your children are cute.  We all can agree on that.  Your husband’s video camera capturing every runny nose and  bowel movement– not so much.  Keep this up honey and you’ll have one posing for Playgirl before you know it.  It’s just not natural to be that comfortable in front of a camera. Ten minutes of video when you first arrive and then the camera goes back into the camera bag. 
  3. Trudy.  If your brother and sister want to come, they can be on time like everyone else.  If they are late again this year, they can eat what the dogs don’t finish. 
  4. Rhonda.   It’s my oven and once again I’ll  be using it right up until mealtime.  If you can’t bring something that doesn’t require heating, then don’t bring anything at all.
  5. Mary.    Your kid’s dirty shoes and my clean sofa have never met.  Let’s keep it that way.
  6. If you are a meat-eater, try a vegetable for your health.   If you are a vegetarian, try the stuffing for the bacon.  Either way, you’ll be cured of what ails you.
  7. If I see one grandchild doing that texting stuff, there will be no pie for dessert.  If I see one parent checking email… scratch that – new rule.  Leave your cell phone in your car.  They used to be called mobile phones for a reason.  Now-a-days the only thing mobile about your phone is your thumbs.  Trust me.  Skinny thumbs and a fat ass are not a good look.
  8. Jonathan.  How a Republican ended up in this family is beyond me, but we love you all the same.  That said, Reagan is dead darling.   Get over it.
  9. I cooked the meal.  Your grandfather paid for it.  You can clean the kitchen and we’ll call it even.
  10. Honestly, if you insist on bringing anything, bring some butter.  I go through about 20 sticks to get this meal on the table and I might as well start stocking up for Christmas now.
  11. Marshall.  I am sure you believe that your children sing beautifully.  Don’t put me in a situation where I have to make you question your beliefs.
  12. Grandpa Harold says if the Longhorns win, the bar is open.  If they lose, the party is BYOB.

Well that about covers it.  I’m almost 84.  I know what I like and what I don’t like.  Humor me and we’ll all have a good time.  Unlike Robert Bryd, when I no longer know which side my turkey is basted on, I will step down and let someone else take over the holiday preparation.  Until then, come and enjoy the meal and the company.

To all my new friends out there, I say this.  Life is short.  Don’t squabble over the little things like Jello and Sarah Palin.  If we are going to fight, let’s fight about the things that matter like world peace and apple pie.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Harold is doing fine.  Thanks for asking.  I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 30, 2009

I sure could use a little good news… tomorrow

Well Margaret.  Harold is doing well.   We have a long way to go, but the doctors say it is going the way they had hoped.  I read in the newspaper today that the House of Representatives has finally put forth a bill on healthcare reform that might go to vote next week.   Evidently there is still much work to be done to reconcile differences between this version and the one the Senate is working on, but it seems to be another milestone in what has otherwise been miles of stones.  I find it odd that we expected instant gratification on something this important.  Of course it was going to take more than a few months to work on.  Thank you for reminding me to read the paper and get off the 24-hour boob- tube news channels.  The paper is just so much more civilized – and you are right – I was getting a bit bitchy in my old age. 

The guy in the other bed has the blasted TV blaring at all hours and on more than one occasion it has been tuned to Fox News.  If this keeps up, they might have to admit me to this damned place.  Even when he does have my cutie patootie Anderson Cooper on, I still can’t calm down.  They make a mountain out of a mole hill or  most recently a hot air balloon into a death trap without giving a moment’s thought.  At least the  newspaper has 24 hours to digest and then report  the news.  Those TV people just get diarrhea of the mouth and then the shit gets everywhere.  News as it is happening is not news.  It’s an observation without much thought.

Here are my thoughts – for what they are worth:

  • Even if he got it for remembering to leave the seat down for Michelle and the girls,  Barack Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize is a good thing.   Don’t we want the United States to be seen as an instrument of peace in the world?  Erick Erickson probably had trouble spelling his own name in grade school and Michael Steele is clueless as to the irony of his job title.
  • The little boy didn’t get into the balloon.  End of story.  To report anything more is helping a means to an end that leads to a reality show none of us needs to see.
  • Sarah Palin wrote a book.  It was co-authored by a million monkeys on a million typewriters.
  • Is Jay Leno at 10PM really all that different from Jay Leno at 11PM?  What network executive came up with that stroke of genius?
  • The Boston Tea Party was a key event in the growth of the American Revolution. The British Parliament responded in 1774 with the Coercive Acts and the Colonists in turn responded to the Coercive Acts by convening the First Continental Congress.  The crisis escalated, and the American Revolutionary War began near Boston in 1775.   The 9-12 Project, by comparison,  was proof positive that people who watch Glen Beck can’t spell.
  • The only person I like less than Rick Perry is Dick Cheney.   What a shame Kay Bailey Hutchison has lost her sense of smell because that is one big pile of shit she just stepped into.
  •  Palin having an opinion about  Levi Johnson “selling his body”  is like Roman Polanski having an opinion about Woody Allen’s choice in girlfriends.  Pot meet Kettle. 
     
  • John and Kate minus eight equals one jackass and the woman who deserves him.
  • Give Rush Limbaugh a football team.  Who better than he understands the effects of massive head injuries?

I get that these news channels have to fill up 24 hours worth of programming.   But what exactly would be wrong with filling up today’s 24 hours with thoughtful reporting on what happened during yesterday’s 24 hours?  Anything else really is just opinions disguised as news. 

Thanks for stopping by everyone.   Hug your loved ones every chance you get. I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | September 23, 2009

Michele Bachmann’s wheel is still spinning, but the hamster is dead.

Margaret, I know it has been a few years since we last made the trip across the pond, but I was wondering if  anyone is still alive in Europe?   I watched a little bit of Fox News this weekend and I’m afraid everyone in Europe might have died from lack of access to healthcare.  What a shame.  They had such delicious food and beautiful art.

I am not sure when it happened but the base of the Republican party either got lazy or stupid or both… or maybe they always were.   It took me only a few minutes of research on the internet to learn that America spends more on healthcare than any other wealthy nation and yet we don’t live longer or have better health outcomes. So unless we just enjoy making health insurance companies rich, all those tea party morons  need to use the internet for something other than ordering their penis enhancement pills.

Exactly how expensive does healthcare have to get before we decide to have an honest, meaningful conversation about this?   Rush is out there talking about how this will keep you from getting your next raise.  I’ve got news for you Rush.  Maybe not for you, but for the rest of the world it already has.  Sixty-two percent of all bankruptcies filed in 2007 were linked to medical expenses and almost all of those individuals had health insurance. About 1.5 million families lose their homes to foreclosure every year due to unaffordable medical costs.  Over the last few years, health insurance costs for small businesses have increased by over 100%.

But let’s not get lost in the numbers.  What we are talking about here is access to healthcare.  We are talking about mothers and fathers losing their homes and their life savings trying to save their children.  We are talking about families helping a loved one to fight cancer.  We are talking about  people suffering with diabetes, asthma and AIDS.   We are not talking about death panels and for God’s sakes we are not talking about Nazi Germany.  We are talking about tending to the sick and the poor… does that sound familiar to anyone?  You Value Voters out there claim to read the Bible.  Maybe you should crack the cover on that one again.  You are so damn worried about who is marrying who and what immigrant is getting the best shift at the Taco Bell, but God forbid someone’s suffering doesn’t come with a price tag…

Honestly,  if I could , I would put the entire Republic party over my knee and give them a good spanking.  What does it say about our country if the biggest debate of the decade is no longer about the two wars we are fighting but rather about preventing children and families from having access to affordable healthcare?  I’ll tell you what it says to me.  It says the Christian Right never really was and Value Voters aren’t very valuable.

Let me spell it out for you:

Sarah Palin is worried about death squads.  I think  she should spend a little more time worrying about getting at least one child into college.

Rush Limbaugh is worried about Socialism.  That’s a big word for a college drop out, but isn’t it  nice when such a wealthy person shows so much concern for poor little us.  I wonder if he’ll spend a little of his $400 million contract and write you ditto heads  a check when you can’t afford your hospital bills.

Dick Cheney has had four heat attacks.  He underwent four-vessel coronary artery bypass grafting in 1988, coronary artery stenting in November 1994, and urgent coronary balloon angioplasty in December 1994.  He has been treated for popliteal artery aneurysms, deep-vein thrombosis, atrial fibrillation, and most recently back problems.  I wonder what his out-of-pocket expenses were.  I wonder if he even cares?

Universal Healthcare in the wealthiest country on earth should have been a no brainer.  And speaking of a no brainer…

Michele Bachman thinks healthcare reform is unconstitutional.   I think Michelle Bachmann is as nutty as a fruit cake.  Or as we say down here in Texas – Michele is one taco short of a combo plate.  She is a few fries short of a happy meal.  Her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.   Her cord is too short to reach the outlet.  The wheel might be spinning but the hamster is dead. 

That woman just isn’t right in the head.   I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | September 17, 2009

We is America

Margaret,  I haven’t laughed so hard since Katie Couric interviewed Sarah Palin.  A few thousand white folks called in sick to work last week so they could parade around the nation’s capital on Saturday and Fox News declares a revolution is underway.  My goodness.  I don’t know which is more sad – the fact that they couldn’t spell half the words written on their illegible signs or that they all left their white hoods at home.  Bring the hippies back.  Their protests were much more entertaining.

Just to give you some perspective:

  • 1925 –  Ku Klux Klan – 35,000 KKK members marched on Washington
  • 1963 – March for Freedom with Martin Luther King – 250,000 marched
  • 1969 – March to end the Vietnam War – 600,000 marched
  • 1993 – Gay and Lesbian Rights – 800,000 marched
  • 1995 – Million Man March – 600,000 marched
  • 2004 – March for Women’s Lives (Pro-Choice)  – over 1 million marched
  • 2009 – Obama Inauguration – over 1 million celebrate
  • September 12, 2009 – Tea Party Hillbilly Rally – 78,000 marched but only 3 seemed to know what they were marching about.

I’ll tell you what Margaret.  You would never know by watching Fox News that 78,000 racists marching on the nation’s capital was cause for concern.  You would think we were finally winning the war against the British.   Of course, according to Harold’s television set, larger crowds gathered at dozens of football games that day so what the hell do I care.

Let me just say something about the 9-12 Project.  On September 12, 2001 everyone was an American. There were no Blue States and  no Red States.  There were no Black Americans and no White Americans.   There were no Europeans, no Asians, no Hispanics, no Africans…  The world was standing with America against the evil that is terrorism.  The globe was united like never before.  And what did our President do when given that moment?  He told us all to go shopping while he and his buddies planned a war.  And 8 years later the 9-12 project has been reduced to a movement of no Blacks, no Hispanics, no Asians… just 78,000 white people who can’t spell.

But it’s not really these 78,000 marchers that worry me.  It’s the media that gives them so much attention.  Did anyone else notice that when a million Pro-Choice women marched on Washington and 50 nut-jobs stood on the corner mis-quoting the bible, it was the bible thumping nut-jobs getting more coverage on the evening news? I mean 5 KKK members march down Main Street and the news crews out number the marchers 10 to 1.

69 million people voted for Barack Obama knowing full well that Universal Healthcare was a major issue in his campaign.   78,000 people marched on Washington claiming that America has been stolen.  Now I am not an expert, but I have to believe that fancy CNN map of John King’s should be able to figure out that math.

The biggest problem facing America today isn’t the war, the economy, healthcare or even racism.  The biggest threat to America is the lack of news coverage in our newscasts.  Honestly I don’t give a damn what LaToya Jackson thinks, what Paris Hilton ate, what Hillary Clinton is wearing or who Brad Pitt is dating.  And I especially don’t give a rat’s ass what 78,000 peckerwoods with too much time on their hands think about something as complicated as Universal Healthcare.

You know what would have been a good news story?  How many of those yahoos marching last weekend actually have health insurance much less a full set of teeth?  Did anyone bother to ask that question?

It’s not news.  It’s nonsense.  Really.  I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | September 10, 2009

A Buttload of Moolah!

Margaret, I guess if you get enough morons congregating in one particular geographical area, eventually they will vote a fellow moron to represent them in Congress.  Kind of like sleeping with your cousin – eventually your offspring are not going to be right in the head.  But the idiot parade coming out of South Carolina seems to be getting longer and longer these days.  

From where I sit Republican Congressman Joe Wilson’s heckling of the President puts him pretty far down on the moron food chain in South Carolina – well below  Miss Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton, but only slightly above  Governor Mark Sanford.  Which isn’t saying much considering all of them are behind the Osprey, northern pike, perch, bleak, shrimp and plankton.  For those of you in South Carolina that is just a fancy way of saying they aren’t worth a pile of shit in my book – except for that little Lauren Caitlin Upton.  She couldn’t help herself the poor dear. Everyone knows you can’t be a carnivore and still fit in your pageant dress. 

Folks, let me tell you something about  healthcare and health insurance.  There are a  couple of ways to make a buck in the game.  One way is to systematically deny coverage to anyone with a propensity to get sick as evidenced by past occurrences.   The other way is to spread the risk over the largest population possible effectively minimizing the impact of the most risky.   But there is one way for sure to lose a buck – keep increasing the number of people who can’t pay their bill.   It’s really quite simple.   A public option means insurance companies will report profits using language like “impressive” and “satisfactory” rather than “awesome” and “a buttload of moolah!”

When exactly did we become so enamoured with health insurance companies that we are now so adamantly fighting for their rights to make a buck off our misfortunes?  None of this makes any sense to me.  The President wants to make a speech encouraging our children to stay in school and study hard and we compare that to Nazi Germany.   Doctors talking to patients about feeding tubes and life support machines has become some secret plot to kill Grandma.  Making sure a woman can get treatment for her breast cancer is unreasonable.  I don’t know Margaret.  What’s next?  Governor Perry and Governor Sanford fight to see which state secedes from the Union first- Texas or South Carolina?   If only…

Someone needs to remind Representative Wilson that he and his family currently have a public option for their health insurance.  And while you’re reminding him of that, be sure he understands that the next time his doctor has a finger up his butt all of us taxpayers footed the bill.  Come to think of it, maybe instead of paying the bill we can skip the finger and just introduce his ass to my foot.  I mean it.  Really.

PS.  Did anyone else notice the look Nancy Pelosi gave to Joe Wilson when he acted out?   Now there is a lady I would enjoy having over for coffee and pie.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | September 4, 2009

Michelle Bachmann’s Burning Bush. There’s a Pill for that!

Margaret.  I got your message about  Glenn Beck.   Let me just say this about that.  Glenn Beck is a loon.   I mean the man is not right in the head.  And that’s all I will say about that.

Harold and I just got back from visiting our newest great granddaughter in Dallas.  Did you know that there is a billboard on Interstate 35 that says, “Where’s the birth certificate?”   Now what idiot Republican has so much money that he can waste it on that?   Surely there is some charity somewhere that could have put that money to better use.

But even crazier than that is all this fuss about President Obama’s planned speech for school children.   George W. Bush was reading The Pet Goat to a group of elementary students in Florida while planes crashed into the World Trade Center.  Not exactly a bright spot in his otherwise dimwitted years as President.   But hey,  he was the leader of the free world and still found time to read to children.    Isn’t that sweet?  And yet, somehow President Obama giving a speech to school children on the importance of staying in school and making good grades is heresy.

I ask you, Margaret, has the entire Republican Party gone mad?

Enough is enough.  All in favor of calling bullshit please raise your hand.

Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961.  Hawaii became the 50th state of the United States in 1959.   If you have half a minute and half a brain you can find a copy of the birth certificate on line ad nauseam.  I realize, of course, that half a brain is questionable for about half the Republican party.

No one wants to kill your grandmother.  Like it or not,  she can live as long as you like and squander your inheritance to boot.  And don’t come crying to me when you realize how much work there is in taking care of a person who decides to live longer than their body decides to function properly.  It’s not pretty and there is a special place in heaven for those who dedicate their life  to caring for their elderly parents.  Harold and I, on the other hand, have other plans in mind for when our golden years start to tarnish.

If God is speaking directly to your political representative in Washington, you might consider checking their medications.  There is quite enough craziness in politics already without adding a voice from a burning bush to the process.   Could one of you up there in Minnesota buy one of those pill sorters for Michelle Bachmann?  Send me the bill.  Really.

Rush Limbaugh.   Good God where do I begin?  Honestly people,  a third grader has a better grasp of world affairs than this yahoo.  The next time you tune to Rush,  ask yourself one question:  Do you really want to base your entire political opinion on the musings of a college drop out?   I mean even Sarah Palin managed to get a degree – albeit after five colleges and six years.   And for the record Mr. Limbaugh, you fat bastard,  the basic concept of insurance is spreading the risk over the greatest number of people possible thus making loss, when it occurs, manageable.   My God you are a moron.

President Obama  graduated magna cum laude from Harvard Law School.  For all my Republican friends out there, magna cum laude is a Latin term meaning  “with great praise”.  Please turn to your Stepford wives and tell them it’s not something you can order on the all-you-can-eat menu at The  Olive Garden.  And the last time I checked he was the duly elected President of the United States of America and not some pervert registered on a Megan’s Law web page.  You should be honored to have him speaking to your children about staying in school and studying hard.

But even with all this proof that the Republican Party has become a Confederacy of Dunces, somehow the Democrats in Washington can’t get their shit together long enough to pass a meaningful healthcare reform bill.  Mr. President, I ask you this:  If they don’t even believe you are an American citizen, why the hell do you care if they think you are going to kill their grandmother?  Rush Limbaugh was not elected to any office.  Pass healthcare reform with a public option and move on.  Rush will get over it.  Trust me.  He has a pill for that.

Talk radio, I am sure, makes lots of money for lots of people.  Otherwise why do it?   But then again Pfizer made a fortune misleading doctors to prescribe unnecessary and dangerous drugs to the public.  Someone tell me the difference.  A lie is a lie even if you are hiding behind a lawyer crying  free speech.  Come on folks.  Start calling bullshit when you hear it and let’s put an end to all this Talk Radio nonsense.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | August 12, 2009

I remember an America where black men didn’t grow up to be President.

Margaret is it just me or did combing your hair become optional when going out in public?  I’ve been watching news clips of these town hall free-for-alls and we have definitely become a nation of tired,  poor, and huddled masses  clearly tempest-tossed, but without access to a good beauty salon.   Universal Hygiene – now that is something I could get behind.  And all of them are asking for their America back.  I wonder which America that would be?

Would that be the America where the Supreme Court picks your president instead of counting all the votes?  Would that be the America where rights to privacy are ignored?  Would that be the America where the Vice President shoots his best friend in the face?  Or would that be the America where an idiot from Alaska and a college drop-out with a radio show could become the torchbearers for the now illiterate Republican party?

I fear that would not be the America they want back.  I fear that the America they want back is the one where black men don’t become President.

I remember that America.  In that America people screaming at public gatherings were called out for what they were – an angry mob.   Of course, they wore sheets to cover up their bad hair.  Let’s be clear about something:  if you show up to a town hall meeting with a gun strapped to your leg, the point you are trying to make isn’t a good one.  Fear never produced anything worthwhile.

And what’s all this crap about killing your grandmother?  Are you people honestly that stupid?  This has become less an argument about healthcare reform and more a statement about our failed education system.  Margaret, I don’t know what plans you’ve made up there with Howard, but down here with Harold, we have living wills to determine how we will leave this world when the time comes.  Mine states that unless the feeding tube is large enough for a piece of pie, I don’t want to be hooked up to it.  Harold, of course, says his can only be connected to him if the other end is connected to a bottle of single malt scotch.

Now shame on me for making a joke about a serious subject, but if these morons are going to show up and scream at their elected officials, they need to educate themselves about the subject at hand.   No one is planning on killing you or your grandmother with rationed healthcare or death squads.  By the looks of the American citizenry turning out for these town hall meetings,  we’re doing a fine  job of killing ourselves with fast food, cigarettes and an overindulgence of ignorance.

The Founding Fathers couldn’t have seen this coming.  If they had, the right to free speech would have been conditional upon one’s ability to read.  But the  Founding Fathers didn’t plan on the likes of Palin, Cheney and Limbaugh.

I too long for the America I remember as a child, Margaret.  The one where men used guns to hunt quail and women visited a beauty salon at least once a week.  Oh, those were the days. I wish we had them back.  I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | August 3, 2009

The President Acted Stupidly

Margaret, we’re old.  We were born in 1925.  Well, I was anyway.  You were born in 1926, but whose counting?  Either way, we are still a couple of old broads.  When we were born the Ku Klux Klan had 5 million members and Catholics and Jews were hated almost as much as the blacks… almost.  Today the KKK membership is about 5,000.   And now we have a black President who appointed a Hispanic woman to the Supreme Court and then had a beer with a white cop and a black Harvard professor on the White House lawn.  My goodness, but look how far we’ve come.

It only took 144 years after the Civil War before a  black man finally made it to the highest office in the land and a hispanic woman made it to the Supreme Court.  We were doing so well,  and then Obama had to take one more question from one more  reporter.   Like a house of cards it all fell apart because he had to go and suggest the police acted stupidly when they arrested that Harvard Professor.   Clearly something is wrong.  How could this happen?  Is it reverse racism?  Could it be we’ve come that far?

Take it from someone who has been around the block a few times too many.  We’re not even close.

A police officer mistakenly arrested a Harvard professor for breaking into his own home.  It doesn’t matter the skin color of anyone involved.  That was stupid.

A President who wasn’t there decided to talk about it at a press conference on healthcare reform instead of staying focused on the issue thereby allowing the media to once again take our eye off the ball.  Again, it doesn’t matter the skin color of that President.  That was stupid.

Sarah Palin quit her day job.  Now that was really stupid.

Rush Limbaugh called the President a racist.  Now come on folks.  That’s not just stupid,  that’s… well that’s… uhhh… well that is… hmmm… that has become pretty typical for ‘ole Rush.  And when stupid becomes typical you can’t really use the word stupid anymore.  It’s not politically correct.  Instead you have to call him mentally challenged which seems like an insult to all those who came by it naturally like Miss California and most of the mayors in New Jersey.  But I digress…

Honestly the most stupid thing of all that came out of this is the number of white people calling into their favorite AM radio hate talk show about how the President is out to get white people.  Which do you think makes them more mad – the fact that the President is black or that they now know at least one Harvard professor is black?  After all, that’s a tough pill to swallow coming on the heels of the whole Sotamayor uprising .   Or maybe what really makes them mad is that electing a black President wasn’t the end of the civil rights movement.  It was really just the beginning.   Suddenly our black and white world is becoming various shades of grey… or is it gray?

The last time I checked, white people still have it pretty good in the world.  Of course, I’m no Harvard professor so what do I know?   What I do know, however,  is that this particular episode was a whole lot of something about absolutely nothing.  How about we get back to talking about healtcare reform?  I mean it really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | July 21, 2009

Rush Limbaugh is Bigger than Walter Cronkite

helen-mug1 Margaret.  Forgive me honey for I have sinned…  I realize now that President Obama is not perfect.  I was wrong to suggest that Obama would rid the world of evil and walk on water while doing it.  I was wrong to believe he was the Messiah.  I can now say that he is not the smartest human to have ever lived and quite frankly he throws like a girl.  Whew.  That feels good to get off my chest.

I am a big enough woman to admit when I am wrong.  But there is one thing wrong with all of this.  I never said any of those things in the first place and neither did any Democrat  I know.   I never said he was perfect.  I never expected him to solve all the problems of the world.  And I know lots of women who can throw a ball  better than most men.   I recognize that he is human and I am sure most people in their right minds know that as well.  But you would never know any of this if you listen to Rush Limbaugh.  Evidently we Democrats are deaf, dumb and blind when it comes to Obama. 

Bullshit.

I am not giving Obama a free pass.  I’m giving him a chance.  He has four years to “make it or break it” as they say.  And considering what George Bush did to it, breaking it is the least of our worries.  Healthcare in the United State is broken.  Our reputation around the globe is broken.  The banks are broken.  The tax system… the school systems… the environment – all broken.  Someone needs to try and fix it.  So why not Obama?

When George Bush was President I didn’t want him to fail.  I wanted him to stop acting like an idiot.  I wanted him to be honest and listen to the debate of the people.   I didn’t expect him to act like a Democrat.   I expected him to act like an American.  And I expected him to at least try to keep his campaign promises.  Instead what we got was a moron of a President who crawled up Dick Cheney’s ass and lived there for 8 years.

If all Rush Limbaugh can do is wish for Obama to fail and talk about what is wrong with America, then what’s the use of giving him airtime everyday?  After 20 years hasn’t he made his point?  If he had been right about anything along the way then certainly he would appeal to more than just angry white men or at the very least been promoted to FM radio.  

Yesterday the Rush Limbaugh Show suggested that Walter Cronkite was just another liberal journalist who was responsible, evidently, for the deaths of 10,000 American soldiers during the Vietnam War.  What in the world will it be tomorrow?  Mother Theresa was selfishly hoarding food that otherwise could have ended world hunger?  Seriously, Rush.  It’s getting old.  Eventually the sky has to be blue in your world. 

Or does it?

Can you believe that 72 percent of Republicans have a favorable approval rating of Sarah Palin?  The woman quit mid-stream and even that didn’t knock her off the pedestal.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, Margaret.  After all his listeners agree with him on healthcare reform.  Rush Limbaugh,  a man who will never have to worry about the cost of insurance and  admits to a prescription drug addiction, actually wants to challenge Obama on healthcare reform.  Really? I am just stunned.  And now they attack Walter Cronkite … the most trusted man in America… Uncle Walter.   I guess the Americans with Disabilities Act needs to be revisited again to include “Republican” as a form of mental impairment because this has gotten out of hand.  And I will gladly give up my  mobility impaired classification and the great parking space that goes with it to make room for them.

Let me tell you about Walter Cronkite.   Besides being sexier than Rush will ever be, Cronkite was someone you could respect even if you didn’t agree with him.  He knew the difference between news and opinion and was quick to announce when he had switched from one to the other.  Each evening for years he brought millions of Americans together to know and better understand the world around them.  He was a man’s man who wasn’t offensive to women – unlike Rush who is an ass’s ass who couldn’t pay a woman to respect him… and I am sure he has tried.

In 1970, Cronkite received a “Freedom of the Press” George Polk Award.  In 1981, the year he retired, Jimmy Carter awarded Cronkite the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  In 1985, Cronkite was honored with the induction into the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Hall of Fame.  In 2006 Cronkite became the first non-astronaut to receive NASA’s Ambassador of Exploration Award.  Cronkite’s numerous awards included four Peabody awards for excellence in broadcasting.  Admittedly Cronkite was no Rush Limbaugh.  Thank God.

Rush has made an entire career out of never admitting when he is wrong, and I find that very funny because Rush is the biggest person I know.  Literally. 

I mean it.  Really.

margaret-mug1 Helen, dear, we can certainly agree on one thing for sure. Walter Cronkite was a very sexy man. I  tell you, he was the Anderson Cooper of his day. He could melt my butter each and every evening.   He could toast my bread on both sides.   He could float my boat, row it out to sea, and wait for it to return with the tide any day of the week.  Although, I’m not quite sure what that means, I do know that Walter Cronkite was a real man.  And, my dear Helen, that’s the way it is…

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