Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 23, 2008

Those Damn Poor People Ruin Everything!

First things first.  Let’s comment on this shopping spree to spruce up the Spruce Goose Governor from Alaska.  I don’t have a problem with it.  Evidently she couldn’t just be a pitt bull.  She had to be a pitt bull in lipstick.  And we all know it costs a lot of money to make an aging beauty queen look like a pitt bull in lipstick.    And hey, she is just a hockey mom after all.  She couldn’t afford those clothes on her own so the McCain campaign had to redistribute a little wealth her way.

What really gets my goat is that I could have put that same wardrobe together at JC Penny for about $300 with enough money left over for a piece of pie and coffee.  Are you telling me THAT is the best they could do with $150,000?   I know I’ve seen the same three outfits about a dozen times this week alone.  And when this is all over, it all goes to charity.  Well isn’t that just rich?   Don’t give them health insurance, give them designer clothing.  Honestly, only a Republican could have come up with that one.

But it really all comes down to a fundamental misunderstanding of the poor.  When you hear Palin screaming “socialism” or John McCain spouting off about “redistribution of wealth” that’s really code for “those damn poor people”.  What they are really saying to those people who live in pro-American parts of the country is that Obama is going to take your hard earned money and give it to some poor person who is sitting at home in  anti-America with too many kids just living high on the hog off the government.  And most likely that poor person doesn’t look like you (wink wink).  I doubt Palin even knows the definition of socialism.  After all it has three more letters in it than Muslim.  By the way, the average welfare recipient has less than three children.  Sarah and Todd Palin?  That would be five.  John and Cindy McCain?  Seven.

I do know this – taxes piss everyone off.  Nobody likes to be taxed.  Hell, Margaret’s husband Howard still has the first dollar he ever made.  Tax day to him ranks right up there with his annual prostate exam. And my Harold is no better.   But we all eventually take it in the rear because we fancy roads, schools, healthcare, national security, law enforcement, energy…  Those things represent the majority of what our taxes go to.  And speaking of majority, the majority of welfare recipients are children.  You know, those precious little bundles of life that the Republican base likes to ignore once the cord is cut.

If you have spent any time volunteering for a charity, you quickly learn that the majority of poor people are actually the “working poor”.  They work hard everyday but don’t get paid enough to put gas in the car and food on the table.  Yep.  That’s the group we are so mad about.  Damn those poor people. They just ruin it for the rest of us.  Because of them Joe the Plumber’s taxes are so high he can’t afford to buy his girlfriend designer outfits as nice as Sarah Palin’s.

Well that’s it for now.  Thanks for stopping by.  I mean it.

[PS.  The grandkids came up with some clever t-shirt designs.  Thanks to everyone for suggesting Cafe Press.  We now have a store there.  Matthew said there would be a way to get there from here.]

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 21, 2008

Harold! The rat is back!

I was just watching CNN  and I couldn’t believe what I heard.  Even if McCain loses this election, many in the Republican party will see Governor Moose Meat as the candidate who almost saved McCain.  In other words, it wasn’t her fault – he would have been nothing without her.  The reporter then took that to a horrifying conclusion – Palin in 2012.  

Has everybody gone mad?  Dear Lord she is like a cockroach.  We’ll never be rid of her!  I tell you after the scare of that report my hair went from a lovely silver, just like that sweet Anderson Cooper’s, to stark white… completely devoid of color (my hair not Anderson Cooper).

You know,  Harold and I had a mouse problem once.  We tried everything and couldn’t get rid of it.  My children were young at the time and begged us to keep it as a pet.   I had to teach them about diseases and germs and all things rodent.  No.  This was not appropriate to keep as a pet no matter how cute it appeared.  Come to think of it, its squeak was kind of quirky and I could have sworn it winked at me on more than one occasion.  But I held firm. I had to protect my children.  It needed to go and eventually it did.  But now it seems to be back sporting designer frames and an up-swept hairdo.

I’m sorry.  I can’t write any more right now.  I am in shock.  Let me think on this for a day.  Leave your comments and maybe together we can come up with the proverbial better mousetrap or at least a can of Raid.

Remember to vote early if you can.  And stop by again soon.  Thank you.  I mean it.  Really.

[ PS.  Our grandchildren and great nieces and nephews think all this attention makes us “cool”.  It only took 82 years!  They are busy designing some cute buttons and t-shirts.  I’ll let you know when they are done so you can see them.]

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 20, 2008

Harold Isn’t a Muslim Either

Harold isn’t Muslim.  He’s Catholic.  I’m Methodist.  Somehow we’ve managed to live peacefully married for 57 years.  We didn’t get married in the church.  As far as I am concerned that was no great loss.  A short ceremony meant I got to eat cake sooner.

And just like Harold, Barack Hussein Obama isn’t a Muslim either… unless of course you attend a McCain rally where they think he’s either Muslim,  a terrorist sympathizer,  or not a United States citizen.  Most recently they are calling him a socialist.   They probably think that is some type of religion too.  Smart ones those McCain supporters.  One week they want to beat him up for something Rev. Wright said and the next week they want to hate him for being Muslim.  For crying out loud people, he’s Christian.  But exactly what would be the issue if he were a Muslim?   

There are 2.1 billion Christians in the world today, and almost half of those are Catholic.  There are also 1.5 billion who practice Islam.  And there are almost 3 billion people in the world who don’t belong to either of the aforementioned groups, including about 1.1billion (that’s billion with a B) who consider themselves to be secular or nonreligious.  And guess what folks?  There are good and bad in each group.  Let’s take the Republican base for example…

Just because you go to church doesn’t mean your shit doesn’t stink.  Just ask Joe the Plumber.   Pray when you want, to whomever you want, wherever you want.  That is what is so great about our country.  But remember, freedom of religion is a double edged plunger.  When you start attacking people from a different religion, you open the door to people who attack you because they think their religion is better than your religion.  And while we are on the subject of people who think their religion is better than your religion have you paid attention to what Governor Palin believes?

Palin has called on people to pray for the cooperation necessary to build a natural gas pipeline across Alaska, referred to the U.S. mission in Iraq a “task that is from God” and argued that students should be taught creationism in public schools.  She would rather do away with sex education all together.  As an evangelical of the Pentecostal persuasion, she supports a strict adherence to moral codes- no tobacco, no alcohol, no sex outside of marriage… well two out of three ain’t bad anyway.  Oh gosh, there I go throwing stones while living in a glass house.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t have an issue with her being a religious woman.  I just have concerns with her ability to understand the diversity of the world today.  Imagine what decisions you might make if you believe the end of days is on tomorrow’s menu.  You’d probably still order breakfast, but you just might consider things like conserving natural resources to be irrelevant.  Drill, drill, drill. After all, what would be the point in saving the earth?    

I can’t say I know when the end of days will be, but one thing I know for sure: When religion gets in bed with politics, we all wake up with regrets.   Well, except of course for Sarah Palin.

Thanks for stopping by everyone.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 15, 2008

The Angriest Man in America

Well, I thought it was a good debate.  My hats off to Bob Shieffer… and my blouse too if he plays his cards right.  (Just don’t tell my husband.) But who the hell is Joe the Plumber?  Seriously.   What the hell was that all about?  Joe the Plumber?  Joe Six Pack?  The new McCain strategy seems to be banking on a lot of guys named Joe with a beer in one hand and a pipe wrench in the other.  Is this a political campaign or a dating service for the Palin women?

And while I am talking about Governor Good Hair from the North I just want to say good for Sarah Palin that she has an interest in helping special needs children.  They need all of our help and every child should come into this world being wanted and loved.  Sarah you have my full support on this matter.  It’s just too bad you also have to worry about a special needs Senator for a running mate.

John McCain thinks Americans are angry?  Really?  I think he needs to look beyond his rallies.  Americans are not angry.   Republicans are angry.  Bush screwed ’em over and now McCain is rubbing salt in the wound.  It looks to me like The Straight Talk Express is stuck in traffic and its driver is experiencing a little road rage.   The rest of us are hopeful and anxious, but certainly not angry.  We want change and it is so close we can almost taste it.  The next three weeks will be the longest of my 82 years. 

Folks, I’m tired and I don’t have another fight in me.  It’s now or never.  So to all of you I say this:  Give your money.  Give your time.   Give your voice.   Get up.  Get out and do something.  Anything.  If America takes a chance on Maverick the Clown and his side kick, Clarabell, we will find ourselves so far down the crapper even Joe the Plumber can’t reach us.  Get out there and vote!

Thank you for stopping by.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 15, 2008

Some mothers eat their young…

You know, for a mother who has a son in Iraq, Sarah Palin doesn’t at all seem interested in bringing that war to an end.  I’ve got a couple of great nephews.  One of them is currently in the military.  The other one works for a bank.   I hope the one with a bank gets to keep his job.  I hope the one in the military gets to come home.  Think about it.

Now all of you get off this web page blog and go watch the debates.  If they don’t put me to sleep, I’ll write something tonight.

One more thing before I go, I don’t know who Stephanie Miller is, but thank you for mentioning me on the radio.  Do we get your show here in Austin?

Thanks for stopping by…

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 12, 2008

The Straight Talk Express Just Drove Off That Bridge to Nowhere

Did any of you watch the news shows this weekend?  And I am not talking about Troopergate because everyone saw that coming.  I’m talking about the video from the McCain rallies.  Clearly we now have proof postive that you shouldn’t sleep with your cousin. 

My hat’s off to McCain for trying to set the record straight about Obama not being an Arab, but what does it say about his judgment that he handed a live microphone to Ma and Pa Kettle in the first place?  I mean what truck and tractor pull was cancelled to make room for that stop on the Straight Talk Express?

Look.  I called Governor Palin a bitch.  Some of you didn’t like that word and I really don’t care.  I’ve been around the block a few times.  Hell, in dog years I’m already dead so a little word like bitch is hardly cause for concern in my world.  But when a crowd starts yelling “terrorist”, “kill him” and “Arab”… well that is entirely different and it’s time the guys driving this Straight Talk Express started using their heads for something other than hat racks.  If you watch Palin doing her little performance at those rallies you quickly realize that she is either too stupid to see or just doesn’t care that her dog sled is going down a slippery slope.  We can’t put that in the White House.   We just can’t. 

But McCain has only himself to blame.  He brought that pitt bull in lipstick down from Alaska and turned her loose on the lower 48.   This is what you get when you begin to pander to the fears of the most ignorant among us.  Lesson learned:  if you lie down with Palin, you’ll get up with fleas.

That’s all until the debate.  Thanks for stopping by.  I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 9, 2008

BUSH-shit!

Hello world.    Well where do I begin?  I am shocked at the response to my little rants.  You sure do know how to make an old gal feel special.  Of course there is another woman out there who feels special, but that’s only because she’s been shooting caribou out the window of her Straight Talk Express on the way to her next Republican hillbilly rally.

For crying out loud America.  How bad does it have to get?  Senator McCain is practically crumbling to dust before our very eyes while Governor Palin is out in the hinterland screeching about some 60’s hippie who bumped into Obama once or twice over the years. This from the woman who panders to secessionists in Alaska. Please, dear God, somebody throw a stone because that glass igloo needs to be shattered!

Margaret and I are both reading all of the comments and it’s been very exciting to hear from all of you around the world. For those of you who seem to be at odds with my language, all I can say is what I always say to Margaret – even if you watch your p’s and q’s you can still spell bullshit.  I promise to write again after the next debate or before that if Rocky and Bullwinkle (aka McCain/Palin) piss me off. 

One more thing before I go.  Does anyone else find it ridiculous that our current fool of a President told us all to go shopping after 9/11 but now when we really need to be shopping that jackass has suddenly lost his bullhorn?  What an idiot.

Just before posting this, I stopped to read it one last time.  And it occurs to me that there was a time in my life when I never would have considered calling our President an idiot.  It’s a shame how this jackass has ruined so many things that we all held dear.  Sometimes elections should be about something bigger than all of us.  This year we have an opportunity to right a very big wrong.  We have the ability to restore respect to the greatest office in our land. Our leaders should inspire us.  They shouldn’t divide us.  They shouldn’t embarrass us, ignore us or pander to us and they definetly shouldn’t lie to us.   And for the love of God they really should know more about the world than Alaska’s proximity to Russia.  

So there you have it America.  I, Helen Philpot, am calling BUSH-shit.

The time for change is now.  It’s been too long and I don’t have many years left.  I’ve had enough.

Thanks for stopping by.  I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 7, 2008

Maverick my ass!

I don’t know everyone.  That one was a snoozer.  Halfway through the debate I looked over and Harold was asleep in his chair, and somehow I think so was much of America.  In the VP debate we couldn’t get Palin to answer the questions and in this debate every time it got interesting Tom called time – it was frustrating.

You can comment all you want on who won and who didn’t.  I haven’t got a clue.  But here is what my heart is telling me.  I am 82 years old (83 in December).  It’s time to hand the reigns over to the next generation and hope that we did a good job raising them.  To Senator McCain I say, with love in my heart, sit down and shut up.  You’re beginning to look like an ass and your answers sound like a cross between Barnie Fife and Floyd the Barber.  And no matter how many times you start a sentence with “My friends” if you end it with a bunch of stuff that really doesn’t make sense… well eventually someone like me is going to call “bullshit”.

Actually, let me state that a little differently.  ALL OF US have to call “bullshit” right now.  There is too much at stake.  You can’t agree with George Bush all of the time and then say you are about change. You can’t say the economy is strong in the morning and then say it’s a crisis that afternoon.  You can’t be about deregulation for 25 years and then suddenly be against it.  And for God’s sakes war can’t be the answer to everything.

You just can’t teach an old dog a new trick… even if you put lipstick on it.  Change is needed.  I know because I am a fat, old dog.  For too many years I’ve been eating more pie than I should.  Jenny Craig had me doing pretty good for a few years but eventually I started eating pie again.   John McCain has been part of the Republican party in Washington for 26 years.  It doesn’t matter what he has been saying the last few months, eventually he’s going to eat the party pie again.  He’s old.  I’m old.  That’s what we do.  We don’t suddenly switch to salad. 

It’s OK. We’ve been part of the greatest generation.  We had our turn.  Now we get to sit back and enjoy our pie while someone else worries about the calories.  The new guy has the energy and the new ideas. Senator Obama, I hope you’re up for the challenge. 

One more thing for Senator McCain before this old bird goes to bed.  Ronald Reagan is dead.  Let it go.

Thanks for stopping by everyone.  I hope you keep coming back.  It gives me something to do while Harold watches his shows.

397 Comments

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 6, 2008

Yep. I called her a bitch and I am not taking it back.

I am so surprised at how many of you have come to my little web page blog.  People didn’t think I was 82 so I thought maybe you couldn’t see the pictures but then someone called me old and fat so I guess you can.

If you are looking for my post about Sarah Palin it appears right before this one.  I guess I hit a nerve with my little story about the Governor, but I just got so mad when my friend Margaret told me she was thinking about voting for McCain and thought Sarah was kind of interesting.  Well, we’ve survived a lot of differences over the years so I guess we can survive this one.

For those of you calling me names.  Shoot.  I’m 82 and have been called much worse by much better.  Margaret all but called me a communist for posting it in the first place and told me my sailor mouth would get me in trouble!  I don’t mind.  Besides I started it by calling that fool from Alaska a bitch.  Surely you could not have watched that debate without realizing she has no idea what end is up.  I remember a girl like that in high school.  Her name was Sally and we used to say that she wasn’t right in the head. 

I saw Gwen Ifill on a TV program this weekend and she said there really wasn’t anything she could do once Palin decided to “blow me off”.  Well, call me stupid but I thought debates had rules so that both parties could be evaluated equally.  “Oh Gosh Joe.  There you go again.”  Yep.  There he did go again – answering the “gosh darn” question that was being asked.   I would like to say I am sorry, but I am not.  That woman is an idiot.  Sarah not Gwen.  I like Gwen most of the time.

A lot of you have asked me to keep writing stuff.  Well, I will watch the debates tomorrow night and if I get mad again, I will write it all down for you here.

One more thing.  The only comments that really made me mad were the fools that came here preaching the bible and all that pro-life crap.  Most pro-life nut cases need to actually get a life and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing.  Sarah Palin had the choice to talk to her daughter about sex.  Her daughter had the choice to listen or not listen.  Her daughter had the choice to have sex or not have sex.  And once she was pregnant she had the choice to keep the baby, put it up for adoption or terminate the pregnancy.  And as much as it scares me that the Palin clan is producing a whole new generation of women like my old friend Sally, the fact is they have a choice.  All I ask is that women respect the right of other women to make their own choice because I remember what it was like when we didn’t have a choice.

Thanks for stopping by. I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | October 3, 2008

Sarah Palin is a Bitch… there I said it.

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Well it’s NOT you girl…

Look.  I am going to say what everyone at CNN, CBS, ABC and NBC is thinking but is afraid to say.  Governor Palin is a stupid, conniving bitch.  And it’s not because she is a strong woman – I like strong women… worship them… It’s actually the opposite.  She is a weak, pathetic woman who thinks big hair,  winking, baby talk and self deprecation is somehow becoming of a woman who wants to lead the free world.  My god, where is Margaret Thatcher when you need her!

But what really makes me mad is the hypocrisy.  She claims to be a Washington outsider and yet is the worst kind of politician.  She will say anything and avoid answering any question instead choosing to spout whatever line or soundbite some adviser put into her mouth a few hours earlier.  And exactly when did sounding like a hick make someone “more like us”.  Last time I checked we were a country striving to educate our children to be intelligent and honest.  I think I would die if my daughter came home from school and said something like “I gotta tell ya.  Change is a comin’.”  At the very least I would remove the Beverly Hillbillies from her approved TV viewing list.

And then there is Alaska.  Have any of you been to Alaska recently?  Although the largest State geographically, it has less than a million people – about 700,000. (The city I live in now is bigger. )Fewer population issues exist for lawmakers to address.  And because they make so much money from the oil companies, the Alaskan government actually gives it citizens an annual dividend check (this year $3,200).  Exactly what Governor wouldn’t be popular under those circumstances? No wonder they can afford to elect a governor who ony has an undergraduate degree in journalism and a few beauty pageant awards.  By the way, when you got that journalism degree did they teach you that some journalists actually ask hard questions like what newpapers do you read?

Fact: Sarah Palin is stupid.  Maybe not stupid by Alabama standards but stupid enough that she managed to get herself elected Governor while never bothering to educate herself on little things like the Constitution, foriegn affairs or appropriate debating practices.  She is stupid enough to have accepted a VP nomination for which she is completely unqualified and stupid enough not to admit it –  even though the future of our great nation could be irreversibly damaged by the decision.

When exactly do we all get to call “bullshit”? 

She loves to talk about being a mother but the last time I checked, having your newborn on national TV at 11PM instead of in bed wasn’t considered “good muthering“.  Neither was making your child’s unexpected teen pregnancy the talk of the nation because you desperately wanted to be a politician in Washington DC   – or isn’t that exactly what you said you didn’t want.  From where I sit, it appears you would sell your soul for the position. Kind of the way that Elisabeth girl on The View sold her soul for fame.  Please god get her off the airwaves – she became famous because she ate a rat… but I digress…

Oh and my favorite – my husband Todd (the first dude) and I sit around the kitchen table wondering about the cost of college like many of you…  oh really. Your oldest son went from high school into the military.  Your next oldest is pregnant with plans to be married to some hockey jock at age 17.  Seems to me you’ve got lots of time before you have to worry about college tuition especially being college doesn’t seem to be a priority in your family.

You refuse to give live interviews and then whine when your taped interviews get edited.  Then you have a chance to be live in front of the nation during a debate and you respond by not answering the questions  (proudly not answering the questions I might add) but rather by reading the cue cards given to you by a group of white old men who sold their souls to the political system when you were in…. I don’t know – 2nd grade maybe.  Your insulting to a United States Senator who is so respected that his home state has elected him to office 6 times.  And while I am on the subject of the debate – shame on Gwen Ifell for not making her answer the questions.  Damn I miss Tim Russert.

Sarah Palin is an ignorant, ranting, whining bitch.  There I said it.   But lots more are thinking it.

Please take your ridiculous hair, your over lipstick-smacking mouth, your Lenscrafter look smarter glasses and your poorly fitted designer jackets back to Alaska.   And when you get there, shove a piece of the pipeline up your considerable ass.  I’ll be damned if we’ll put our children’s future in your hands.  And the same thing goes for McCain – the ass wipe who gave her this national platform effectively pushing the woman’s movement back into the dark ages – knowing McCain that might have been his plan all along.

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