Posted by: Helen Philpot | January 15, 2009

Soup’s On

Hi Margaret.  I hope you are keeping warm with all this cold weather.  Sorry I haven’t written sooner, but Harold has been under the weather which means I have been playing nurse again.  I swear that man is such a big baby when he isn’t feeling well.  We even had to give away our tickets to Carol Burnett at the Paramount which made me almost sick myself.  So I made soup like I always do when someone is sick.

Speaking of soup, there isn’t enough in the world to cure what ails Sarah Palin.  Is she maybe a little touched in the head?  I mean, I keep hearing that she’s still complaining about how the media “mistreated” her.  But she seems to forget no special affects were used.  For goodness sakes Sarah, she simply asked you what magazines you read.  I swear, the only difference between a moron in real life and a moron on TV is about 10 pounds.   And speaking of morons…

I hope I never find myself in the same room as George W. Bush because I love my shoes and it would be a shame to lose one up his ass.  I just can’t handle much more of this “legacy tour” of his.   A few years ago he was asked if he had made any mistakes and he couldn’t answer the question.  Now he decides to let us know that “Mission Accomplished” might not have been a good idea.  Oh Really?   Turning the war into a public relations opportunity wasn’t a good idea?  Announcing mission accomplished when thousands of soldiers would continue to die isn’t just a mistake you jack ass.  It’s unforgivable.

So I have a legacy for you Mr. President.  When you go to war with other people’s children, you need to take it seriously.  Because when you are President and you take your country to war, they ALL become YOUR children.  

January 20, 2009 just can’t get here fast enough.   Everyone should have a bowl of soup that day and let the healing begin.

Sorry I haven’t been able to write more everyone.  Family takes precedent, but below is a little soup recipe you might enjoy.  Thanks for stopping by again.  I mean it. Really.

Aunt Mary Lou’s Peanut Butter and Carrot Soup

1 large onion diced
1 stalk celery diced
2 lbs. carrots, peeled and diced
1 tsp. vegetable oil
6 cups chicken broth
1 tbs.  Worcestershire Sauce
Juice of one large lime
2 tbs. peanut butter
salt/pepper to taste

Using one large stock pot, heat the onion, celery and carrots in the oil until soft.   Add broth and bring to boil.   Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.  Add all other ingredients and continue soft simmer for 30 minutes.  Remove from heat.  Let cool for a bit and then use a blender to puree little by little until the entire stock is smooth.  Return to pot to heat before serving.    Tastes even better the second day!

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | January 5, 2009

Getting the Bad Guys

Margaret,  I got a lot of crap.  How about you?    If it’s the thought that counts then I want to know what some of my family members were thinking? Candles and exotic soaps are gifts that tell me the giver didn’t give much thought.  To all my loved ones:  Please stop buying me things for the sake of buying me things.  In the future, bake me something nice and if you don’t bake,  a hug will do just fine.  And for the record, Harold hasn’t done anything that requires a screw driver set for almost twenty years.  We have people for that now.  And speaking of people…

Welcome back everyone.  I hope you had a wonderful holiday.  We had a lovely time with family stopping by for long overdue visits.  It was even good to see the vegetarians, but I couldn’t get them to try some stuffing.  Honestly, how can someone not like bacon?  It just doesn’t make any sense.

But I was so happy to see my nephew home from Iraq.  At least that is where I think he’s been.  As a  member of  the special forces, he can’t tell me what he’s been up to.  Instead he gave me a hug and told me he’s been getting the bad guys.   I hugged him back and held my tongue because I support the troops.

Support the troops.  You know saying those words takes about as much energy as putting one of those god awful yellow ribbon stickers on your car.  It’s meaningless unless you follow it with action.  When dealing with war, it’s more than the thought that counts. 

If you want to support the troops then you do everything you can to work for peace.  You march…  you write letters to your editor…  you call your elected officials…. and you teach your children that bad guys are rarely found on the field of battle. 

When it comes to war the real bad guys are usually hundreds of miles away surrounded by men with money to gain and power to loose.  It’s a shame that the guns are almost never aimed at the bad guys.  But I understand why the army has to convince my nephew and other soliders to see it that way.   I imagine it would be hard to pull the trigger if you realize the guy you’re aiming at is probably just like you.  Yep.  You don’t win many wars that way.  Instead you have to turn “us” into “them” and “we” into “they”.   It’s hard to hate people.  It’s much easier to just hate a country or a regime.  It’s hard to kill someone’s son or father or brother, but pulling a trigger when you are aiming at a terrorists… well that’s another story entirely.  You know, I can’t help but wonder what color the ribbons are in Irag.    I mean you realize that mothers in Iraq support the troops too, don’t you?

So my New Year’s resolution was going to be to stop calling Sarah Palin a bitch and to kiss and make up with George W. Bush.  But you know what they say about New Year’s Resolutions… they’re too easily broken.  Besides Sarah ” I see terrorists” Palin is a bitch.  And the only kiss that will ever happen between me and George W. Bush will be when his lips meet my ass.

So let’s see if we can all come up with a better resolution.  One that we can  actually keep and one that is in keeping with the spirit of this blog.   For me, in 2009, I resolve to point the gun at the bad guys…starting with myself.  

I have no idea if my little rants on this internet have had any type of positive impact, but I cannot point the gun at Palin and Bush without blaming myself as well.  I sat by for eight years when I should have been getting active every day in our politcal system.  It’s the only way democracy works.  So until they put me in a rest home, I’ll be watching – and writing.   I voted for Obama, but that doesn’t mean I gave him a free pass.   And I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen the last of that moose hunter in heels.   Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson.  There will always be bad guys – at home and abroad.

So Happy New Year everyone.  Leave your New Year’s Resolution before you go and make it one you can keep.  Thanks for stopping by again.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 22, 2008

End of Days

Many of you have written in asking for recipes.  The holidays are upon us and many of our traditions are centered around food – be it turkey and stuffing or cookies and hot chocolate.  If you ask me it’s really comfort we seek.  So Margaret and I have decided to share a favorite recipe from each of us for each of you.  Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

helen-mug1 From Helen:
As much as I love this web page blog, I love my family more.   So now I need to go and get everything ready for the holidays.  At my age, you never know how many more of these times you’re going to get.  So many things to do and so few days left to do them before the first wave of family begins to arrive.  Mind you, I’m not complaining.  At least this isn’t the Palin house where guns and evidently now drugs need to be checked at the door this year!  You gotta believe that woman is praying harder than ever for end of days to get here.

It starts before Christmas and continues several days past.  One family comes before so that they can be with the in-laws day of.   Can’t imagine why I never got the “day of” visit but they say a son is a son until he gets married… how true.  Now how you can have a suitable holiday when your in-laws are vegetarians is beyond me.  No ham? No turkey?  No thank you.   And then we get another house full on Christmas morning, but they are in-town so I really don’t give them a choice in the matter.  I feed them well so it can’t be all that bad.

My family has grown so much these past few years.  Sons became husbands and their girlfriends became daughter-in-laws.  My own precious daughter is now a Mommy of three. Seven grandchildren total and a whole mess of nephews and nieces and great-nephews and nieces.    And most recently we are excited that the first great-grandchild will be joining us in 2009.   Now when did I get old enough to be a Great Grandmother?  It never seems to slow down.  You never really do get to sit back and say, “There.  All done.  Now I can just relax and have a piece of pie.”

I do have much to be thankful for… much to be joyous about.  When I look at my children and their children and soon even their children, I find it hard to believe that it was ever even close on who would be our next President.  The audacity of hope… audacity indeed.   I believe America is in good hands.  Maybe, just maybe I can relax now.  Maybe…

But about that recipe:   Bacon.   Forget about sausage, nuts or god forbid fruit for your stuffing.  That’s all just a bunch of crap.  The surefire way to have the perfect holiday meal is bacon.  Unless, of course, you are Jewish or vegetarian.  Then I can’t help you.   A little day-old, plain, white bread, some butter, onions, seasoning,  a little celery and a pound of bacon –  fried crisp.  Mix it all up complete with the bacon grease from the pan.  You can’t go wrong.  It’s the perfect stuffing every time.

And that will have to take us into the New Year everyone because I’ve got a family to feed. 

margaret-mug1 From Margaret:
Well, Helen dear, here we are again on the verge of yet another Christmas. My but the days do seem to be flying by, don’t they? I can just picture you in your very active household. I can tell that all is indeed well in your world. The day you tell me that you just can’t fix another meal or stir another drink is the day I will know that my dearest Helen is slowing down. Won’t happen anytime soon, I know.

Howard and I do wish you and your Harold the best of Christmas. It will be only Howard and me for Christmas this year since we spent Thanksgiving with his family. You know me, Helen; this is the way I love spending my Christmas. Me, Howard, the dogs, and my beloved bird. Presents for the dogs and bird are wrapped.  My work here is done.

And as for that recipe?  Buy a pie at Hannaford’s…life is too short.

Happy  Holidays to all our new friends out there.  Celebrate as if they were your last.  Leave a recipe for all to enjoy.  And do stop by again in the New Year.  We mean it.  Really

Helen’s Perfect Stuffing (Unless You’re Jewish or Vegetarian)

3 loafs day-old white bread, air dried

1 lb bacon

1 stick butter

1 large onion

1 stalk celery

2tsp poultry seasoning

Salt & Pepper to taste

 

Prepare the night before. Chop the bread in a blender or food processor.   Fry the bacon but leave the grease in the pan when you remove the bacon.   Add stick of butter to the grease to melt. Chop onion and celery and cook in the grease/butter mixture.   Combine contents of pan with bread and crumbled bacon.   Toss in poultry seasoning and salt/pepper.  Mix well and if the dressing isn’t “gummy feeling” go ahead and moisten it with chicken broth or warm water.  Refrigerate until morning.  I like to stuff my bird – just make sure you adjust your cooking time to accommodate.   And forget about all that crap you hear about not stuffing a bird.  Been doing it for 60 years and we’re all alive and well.  Enjoy.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 16, 2008

If the shoe fits

Well, I would have written sooner but I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to type more than a sentence or two.  Oh my goodness but did any of you see the incident with the Iraqi journalist, Muntathar al Zaidi, throwing his shoes at Georgie Boy?  I gotta believe there are millions of us who have wanted to do that very same thing.  It’s too bad Zaidi didn’t hit his intended target because he just might have knocked some sense into that thick Bush skull.  Not to mention the lucrative Nike contract that surely would have followed.

Eventually I did stop laughing, however, because after the initial reaction wore off, I started paying attention to the gravity of the situation.  In truth, it is not funny at all.  Offering someone the “sole of your shoe” is considered a grave insult in the Arab world.

But even more sobering is what  Zaidi said as he threw the shoes: “This is a farewell kiss, you dog. This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.” And after he was knocked to the ground he continued saying, “Killer of Iraqis, killer of children.”

OK. I am not thinking it is all that funny anymore. How about you?

But the way Bush reacted is probably the best example of why our 43rd President should be run out of town on a rail. After the shoe incident, Bush tried to laugh it all off by saying, “It didn’t bother me, and if you want the facts it was a size 10 shoe he threw at me.”

Well it should bother him, at least a little bit.  He is indeed responsible for thousands of widows and orphans. His orders to war did indeed result in the deaths of children.  Now look.  I understand that war is hell and unintended casualties are going to happen no matter how hard we try to avoid them. But this isn’t the first time Bush has displayed an apparent “carefree” attitude towards his presidency.

Three months after the World Trade Center went down, Bush was quoted as saying, “It’s been a fabulous year for Laura and me.” And in a more recent interview last month, he summed up his entire presidency as “a fabulous experience”.

Fabulous? Really? Not so much for the rest of us.

Maybe it’s just me, but when you are President during war time, you probably shouldn’t act like you are enjoying it quite so much.   Maybe more time pondering the consequences of your actions and less time feeling fabulous…

Folks, let me apologize in advance because I feel a big rant coming on. I can’t contain myself any longer. This moron of a soon to be past-President is a disgrace and a stain on the reputation of the United States of America. No that’s not good enough yet. I’m feeling like one of those Dixie Chicks and I think I need to say some more. George Bush is an asshole and a real son of a bitch. And yes, I did meet Barbara Bush once and I am not taking that statement back.

I am making a request of future generations:  The next time a village loses its idiot, please don’t elect him or her President.  Thank you.

There, I feel a better… but only slightly.

My apologies to all you good people out there who stopped by to read what I have to say. You probably deserved better than that last little rant. But I am glad you stopped by and I do hope you will again. I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 14, 2008

The Reason for the Season

Well we had a few “colorful” comments on that last story, didn’t we?  Was she typing in tongues or was that some type of technical Tourette’s syndrome?  Now, I am not going to cast any stones.  In fact this holiday I am going to do my level best to be respectful of all my new friends out there.   And I am encouraging you to do the same… if only for the holiday.  But some of you out there need to understand that while you are celebrating the birth of Christ, your neighbors may be spinning a Dradle or worshipping a cow.  And somehow, we’re all going to have to learn to be OK with that.

Jesus is the reason for the season unless you practice Islam, Hinduism, Chinese Traditionalism, Buddhism, Animist, Spiritism, Sikhism, Juche, Judaism, or any other of the two dozen or so major world religions.  And let’s not forget about the citizens of the world who are non-religious because there are over 1 billion of them.  In the United States today, over 75 million Americans are not Christian.

And while I am on the subject of not being Christian, it might interest some of you out there to know that God isn’t a Christian.  Think about it.  He’s God.    Now I am going to stop there for a second because I am sure a few of my Christian friends just exploded.

(pause)

OK.  For everyone still able to focus:  This is the single most important issue facing the world.  It is the cause of more war, poverty,  disease, and just plain old hatred than anything else.  Nothing else is even close except maybe Sarah Palin but she’s young so the jury is still out.

No matter what you believe, over four billion people believe differently than you do.   Four billion.  That is almost half of what George Bush and Dick Cheney spend on the war in Iraq each month.    For those pro-war Republicans who don’t have an issue with that number, think of it this way:   If you started counting right now, you would reach 4 billion in 126 years, 276 days, 1 hour, 6 minutes, and 12 seconds – give or take a few hours.  And if  you’re Joe the Plumber and that number is still just too big for your brain… well just  imagine billions and billions of McDonald’s hamburgers.  Trust me.  It’s a lot.

And when it gets right down to it, the only way to make sense out of all of this is to just have faith.  But faith is personal.  And personal means it’s OK if others don’t share in your joy because they’ve got some things that are personal too.

There are many reasons for the season.  One of them is peace on earth, good will toward men.  How ’bout we work on that one?  It’s a tall order, and should keep us busy for quite a while.

I think I’ll go have some pie now.  Come back soon.  You’re beginning to grow on me.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 10, 2008

What Shoes Would Jesus Wear?

Well, the holidays are upon us and many of you are asking about the War On Christmas.  I wasn’t aware the holiday was under attack but with George Bush still in the White House war for any reason against any government or institution is certainly possible. So here is our best effort on the subject of Jesus vs. Santa Claus.

helen-mug1 From Helen:
Oh give me a break. The last time I checked you could hang a Christmas tree upside down in your house if that is how you wanted to celebrate the holiday. Seriously. Have any of you seen this? Christmas trees hanging upside down everywhere. I asked the owner of a shop I was in recently, and she said it is easier to hang the ornaments that way because the branches don’t get in the way. Talk about throwing the baby Jesus out with the bath water… it’s upside down for God’s sake. Who cares if the ornaments aren’t touching the branches below. But I am missing the point of this essay…

Many people are upset because the baby Jesus seems to be overshadowed by Santa Claus, Rudolf, Frosty and other American’s personal traditions. Well, it’s that last part that really seems to be the issue because the rest of those guys aren’t real. Of course some people have argued that the face of Jesus appeared in a pancake or the virgin Mary in an MRI scan so being real is kind of relative. But this isn’t an argument on the reality of Jesus. THAT is  an argument about  faith and faith is relative to the person not the holiday.  THIS is an argument on how we celebrate the holiday in America, and it is important to note the distinction between the two.  You can’t argue faith.  It’s pointless.  But you can argue about the appropriateness of a  plastic Holy Family on the front lawn of the county court house.

In your home you can celebrate Christmas with the Nativity or with any other festivity depending on what the holiday means to you.  In public you have two problems.  First, a government building still has the responsibility to recognize that 75 million of its citizens don’t subscribe to the virgin birth theory or the holiday celebrating it.  Second, a retail building like a mall wants to appeal to the widest audience possible so why decorate in such a way as to alienate 24% of its customers?  Now private property is another story.  By all means, if Jesus is the reason for the season with you, then put a bulb in the back of your plastic baby Jesus and light the way to your front door for all to see.

But folks it’s a two-way street.  Stars or trumpets hanging down Main Street are pretty whether you celebrate Christmas or not.   White deer, snowmen, and snowflakes can be enjoyed by everyone.   But you can’t convince me that a virgin Mary holding a plastic baby Jesus in every front yard is going to bestow extra blessings on us.  Trust me, Jesus isn’t that shallow.  If you want to bestow extra blessings try working towards world peace.  Now that is something Jesus can get behind.

At my house, we put the tree right side up. We put out a Creche that was hand-painted by Harold’s mother. There’s an angel on top of the tree and a Santa Claus sitting in the corner.  We like to give gifts especially for the children.  Some of us start the day by going to church and some of us don’t, but we all come together around the table filled with a traditional holiday meal.

However you celebrate the holiday with your family – celebrate it fully and savor the time with loved ones.  Hang your tree right side up, upside down or stick it up your ass for all I care.  Quit worrying about how others choose to celebrate it.  It accomplishes nothing except to ruin your own holiday.

And look – for those of you who are now crafting the comments about the history of Christmas, Christmas trees, Winter Solstice, Druids, Pagans and what not – because I can already  hear you typing out there – you’re missing the point of my rant. The holiday is about what it means to you and your family and no one can take that away from you and your family except you and your family.  So Merry Christmas at my house.  Happy Holidays at yours.  Either way I wish you happiness and good health for the coming year.

One last thing before I go.  There is a war I do want to start.  I want to start a war on that horrible Christmas song called Christmas Shoes.  Certainly you know the song.  They play it every hour on the hour this time of year.  Who in their right mind wants to hear about a small boy spending his allowance to buy a pair of shoes for his mother so that she’ll look nice for Jesus when she (apparently) dies on Christmas day.  Talk about a war on Christmas.  The boy is about to lose his mother on Christmas and someone convinced him that Jesus gives a rat’s ass what shoes she’s wearing.  If you want to save Christmas call your local radio station and ask them to please stop playing that song.

There you go.  That’s all I’ve got.

margaret-mug1 From Margaret:
Tradition. When I think of the holidays I think of tradition.  To send a fruit cake or not to send a fruit cake. To invite Howard’s brother and his “Negative Nancy” wife or not to invite them.  To serve a spiked holiday punch even though three of Howard’s nephews are in AA or not serve the holiday punch.  It all comes down to tradition. That and Thank You notes.  What happened to writing Thank You notes? Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I received a Thank You note for any Christmas Gift that Howard and I have given.  Now, I don’t give gifts IN ORDER to receive a Thank You note.  Really, I don’t.  It is just proper manners.  Tradition

So, for those of you dreading the holidays.  Dreading the same old “routine”.  Dreading the same people that were there last year…you didn’t care for them then so you’re not going to care for them now.  My advice to you is to start your own tradition.  Do something this year…anything…and announce it to all that it is now your tradition. You will be amazed how it works.  And then when all is said and done…send a Thank You note for gifts you have received.  It matters, really. 

That’s it.  I’m done.

P.S. Happy Birthday, Helen, dear.  You are loved now more than ever before.  Howard said to tell you that you are now older than he is…at least for a month.  My goodness, dear, but the years have flown by haven’t they?

We hope everyone is preparing for a wonderful holiday.  Our gift to you was not talking about a certain beauty queen from up north.   If you have been hit hard by the Bush Depression, then make your gift your time.  Spending time with family never goes out of style.  And keep warm.  We mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 6, 2008

She’s not heavy. She’s my Palin.

It seems that Palin is my cross to carry… my burden to bear.  Clinging to what’s left of its dying reputation the Republican party has credited her with the Chambliss win down in Georgia. Delivering that win makes Palin the new Republican torchbearer.  I don’t know about you, but I am impressed.  If Palin can get an old white guy re-elected in Georgia, I would imagine walking on water is right around the corner.  But maybe she’s not really carrying the torch as much as she has struck a match and is now playing with fire.

Folks, is anyone else out there laughing?  You just can’t make this kind of stuff up.  Well, I take that back.  If I have learned nothing else these last 8 years, I have learned that the Republican party can make shit up… a lot!  They made up weapons of mass destruction and suddenly the concept of “preventive war” became part of our foreign policy.

Now before I go any farther, I am going to ask each of you to do a little research on preEMPtive war, preVENtive war and the Bush Doctrine.  When you finish you will have accomplished three important things.  First, you will know that preEMPtive wars are a slippery slope.  Second, you will know that preVENtive wars are really an oxymoron that only a moron like George Bush could rationalize.  And third, you will know more about US foreign policy than Sarah Palin did when she was running for Vice President.

So are you done with your research?  Good then let’s continue.

Preventive war has been the foundation of our current foreign policy for eight years, and yet you people are upset because I called Governor Palin a bitch?  Considering she called me Un-American first, I would say that I started a defensive war.  My God but we have certainly lost our way.  The Republican Party who elected  George W. Bush – not once but twice – should be ashamed of itself.  We are now preventing wars by going to war.   Please turn off Fox News for just  a second and devote your entire brain to that concept.  George Bush rushed right past preemptive war and laid claim to PREVENTIVE war, which states, amazingly enough, that even the remote possibility of a situation occurring that might lead to war is reason enough to go to war.  Please tell me that the Republicans who read this blog realize that is the very definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy.   Come on now.  I used the word prophesy.  That should have gotten your attention. 

The 58 million who  most recently voted Republican must agree because when it comes to the Iraq war,  McCain was willing to stay for 100 years and Sarah Palin had no issues with that.  In fact, she is not only fine with starting a war to prevent a war, but she actually thinks that it is “a task from God”.  Good Lord.  Please tell me God isn’t that stupid.  That would kind of be like my eating all the cookies in the cookie jar to prevent myself from cheating on the diet later.  Either way Sarah Palin is an idiot and  I’m the one with a fat ass.

War to prevent war.  Preventing war by going to war.  I…. hmmm… I well….  I guess I am just not smart enough to understand that concept because any way you look at it –  the end result is war.   Maybe that is why Georgie Boy had two in the hand and one in the “bush” before Americans  stood up and Obama stepped in.

Attack me if you wish.  But until Governor Palin can show me that she is capable of walking and chewing gum without justifying war by saying that some Americans are Un-American, I will not stop writing about her.  Until then, I want to say this:

We live in the greatest nation on the planet.    Every four years we have the ability to go through a national self-evaluation and make changes based on past successes and past mistakes.  Sometimes it works like when Bill Clinton replaced the elder George Bush.  Sometimes it takes longer than four years as we have seen more recently – in which case it’s no longer a self-evaluation but more like a national enema.  We’re not perfect but we do our best.  As part of  that self-evaluation I can write this blog and you can comment all you want without fear of retribution.  It’s really quite remarkable if you think about it.   Florida can screw up an entire nation’s election. An idiot can avoid war by going to war.  A bitch can be nominated for Vice President.  An old lady can write a blog.  Rush Limbaugh can lie all day and sell it as the gospel truth.  Ann Coulter’s monkey can write a book and it will make the best sellers list…    And still, we managed to elect Barack Obama as our next President.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am going to sleep well tonight because of that last part.  But mark my words.   I’ve  lived through World War II and every war since.   Defensive.  Preemptive.  Preventive.  They’re all the same.  Children die on both sides and we never get them back.  Ever.  When you start down a road where you prevent wars by starting wars…  well, children die.  I hope that is all I need to say.

Thanks for stopping by.   I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 3, 2008

Sarah Palin’s accomplishments are greater because she did it with half a brain.

For those of you who actually read more than one article deep, you know that I was all ready to leave Sarah Palin behind a couple of weeks ago.  But sometimes I don’t always do what I say – kind of the way Sarah said she was going back to do her job as governor.  Wishful thinking on both our parts, I guess.

It seems that a lot of people are upset with me because I am being unfair to the Governor of Oil Land.   They claim that I really don’t know her… that I only know the biased view of her as portrayed by the evil liberal media.  Folks, I’ve got news for you.  Katie Couric stuck a microphone in front of your favorite moose hunter and when she opened her mouth a whole lot of stupid came falling out.  Seriously.  Defend “You can see Russia from Alaska” when asked about national defense.  It doesn’t matter on what channel or to what reporter you say that.  It’s stupid on CBS and CNN and it’s stupid on Fox News.   Of course “stupid on Fox News” is kind of redundant.

While there are many comments left here, some of you actually take the time to send letters to the email set up by my grandson.  I do try to respond when I can.    However, the email I have copied below needed a bit more than a response.  I felt it needed a little dissecting for all to see.  So here we go again…

RE:  Sarah Palin Sit Down and Shut the Hell Up

This is a load of crap, and you have the nerve to call Gov. Palin a bitch, well look in the mirror.
 
Oh, by the way, Max Cleland, former head of the Veterans Administration, did not lose his limbs in battle, he was dumb enough to drop a grenade, then reach down to pick it up.  Any basic trainee knows that you don’t do that.  His own stupidity resulted in the loss of his limbs, and also put the men around him in danger. 
 
As for Gov. Palin, why don’t you tell us your life’s accomplishments, so that we can stack them up against hers?  She went from being a member of the town council, to mayor, to Governor of her state, and she did it all on her own, no help from a rich, politically connected family, and she did not ride her husbands coattails like Hillary did.  She did it herself with hard work, grit and determination. 
 
Yes, Georgia will get their first look at her, and the 4 rallies that she is taking part in will draw maximum capacity crowds at each venue, probably closs to 100,000 Georgians will be attending these events.  She will be instrumental in handing obama his his defeat, and he hasn’t even taken office yet.  Come 2010 when she campaigns nationwide on behalf of Republican candidates, she will be key to defeating a lot of democrats.
 
You are going to see and hear a lot from her over the next 4 years, probably longer, a lot longer, so you may as well get used to it.  If you’re still around in 2012, you may even see her defeat obama for the presidency.
 
I believe the bitterness and hatred that spews forth from people such as yourself is due to the fact that you known your candidate didn’t do so well.  With $700 million, and thousands of media cheerleaders, and millions of bloggers on his side, it still took a financial meltdown to pull him across the finish line.  You also know that anger over the economy is what made people vote for him, not that they liked him, and anger is easily redirected once he and his Clinton era retreads can’t deliver on all the fancy promises he made.
 
Greg in Minnesota

Greg Dear, thanks for writing.   When I looked in the mirror today I saw an old woman who needs to make an appointment at the beauty parlour.  Thanks for reminding me to look.  I sometimes forget.  When Sarah Palin looked in the mirror I imagine she see saw a bitch.  But that is just a guess on my part.  She might not have looked.

As for Cleland’s service to his country.  He lost three limbs while on combat duty in Vietnam.  A little research will show you that Ann Coulter thinks he is just an idiot who blew himself up whilst on his way to have a beer with the boys.   Now, if you ask me, the limbs Cleland lost were as important to him as any other limbs left on the battlefield by valiant soldiers.  The exact details of how they were lost are probably only really important to someone who still has all his or her limbs.   I am assuming, of course, that you, Dear Greg, have all of your limbs.  I know Ann Coulter does because I often wish she would cross them when she sits. 

But you have decided to provide only parts of the information.  Cherry picking through information to support your cause seems to be a habit within the Republican party these days.  When you and Ann Coulter do it, a brave soldier’s reputation is tarnished.  When George Bush and Dick Cheney do it, thousands more soldiers are put in harms way, including my beautiful nephew.  So Greg,  here are some more of the details about Max Cleland’s time in Vietnam:

First of all, Cleland was wounded during the siege of Khe Sanh.  Can you say that with me?  Keee-Son.

Now that is all I really need to know, but because I too have all my limbs I feel the need to copy some more from the research I did:

He [Cleland] had less than a week earlier already earned commendations for heroism during some of the bloodiest combat of the whole Khe Sanh siege — combat missions for which he had volunteered, so as to relieve stranded Marines and Army infantry. The order in which the President awarded him the Silver Star reads:

“Captain Cleland distinguished himself by exceptionally valorous action on 4 April 1968, while serving as communications officer of the 2nd Battalion, 12th Calvary during an enemy attack near Khe Sanh, Republic of Vietnam.   When the battalion command post came under a heavy enemy rocket and mortar attack, Capt. Cleland, disregarding his own safety, exposed himself to the rocket barrage as he left his covered position to administer first aid to his wounded comrades. He then assisted in moving the injured personnel to covered positions. Continuing to expose himself, Capt. Cleland organized his men into a work party to repair the battalion communications equipment, which had been damaged by enemy fire. His gallant action is in keeping with the highest traditions of the military service, and reflects great credit upon himself, his unit, and the United States Army.”

But don’t worry Greg.  I really can’t criticize you for making fun of a handicapped veteran.  Afterall, I’ve written a blog making fun of a mentally handicapped governor of Alaska.  By the way, I just looked in the mirror again…. Now I am beginning to see just a little bit of a bitch behind that messy hair of mine.

But let’s move on to your comments about Hillary Clinton.  While I am indeed a fan of her husband, I actually think Hilary’s accomplishments are far greater.  She, like many women, succeeded despite her husband’s coattails and not because of them.

But you do make a point about Governor Palin’s accomplishments.  All on her own, she went from being a member of a town council, to mayor to governor of Alaska.  In  total, less than 200,000 Alaskans pulled a lever to get her all the way from the PTA to Governor.   By comparison over 200,000 people have visited this blog of mine and I’m pretty sure my shit still stinks.

But Greg, I must say that I am particularly impressed with your ability to read the minds of millions of Americans who voted for Obama.  That’s guite a talent.  I wonder if you can read my mind right now.  Wait a minute, I need to take off my glasses for a second to wipe away the tears…. Sorry about that folks, I was haivng one of those laughs… one of those hard laughs that brings tears to your eyes because that last part of Greg’s letter is just such a hoot – the part about Obama not really having done a good job getting elected.

A half black, half white man with the name Barack Hussein Obama just became President of the United States.  He wasn’t even legally a United States citizen and doesn’t have any documentation whatsoever to prove that he was baptized or that he ever attended a single day in school.  We are not sure he was actually ever born at all.  He beat a war hero whose running mate was an amazing woman who went all of the way from the PTA in Wasilla to the Governor’s mansion in Juneau.   And she has documentation proving that she attended five colleges before finally getting a BA in journalism.   And on her baptismal record it actually states that she was chosen by God to drill in the area that is arguably one of God’s most beautiful creations to bring oil to the rest of the free world.  You are so right Greg.  What a lame accomplishment.  Clearly that idiot from Alaska can do better.  After all, Obama has all four limbs while Palin only has half a brain.

Now, I really hope to leave Palin behind with this article.  But I think you all need to know why this is so important to me.  Why, if I could, I would try to respond to all 58 million Americans who wanted to put her one heartbeat away from the greatest office in the land.  Get ready because I think this soapbox just might be big even for someone of my size:

When you are a mother and a grandmother you take little things like war (or world peace), the environment and  education seriously.   Why?  Because when you leave this world you want to know that you did everything possible to leave it a better place for your children and their children. 

Eight years ago, we were preparing to enter the 21st Century stonger and more prosperous than ever before.  The national debt was coming down along with the national crime rate and the unemlpoyment rate, while the rates of home ownership and college admissions were on the rise.  There was even talk that maybe, just maybe peace in the Middle East might happen one day.  We were finally beginning to understand the harm we were inflicting on the environment, but we knew what needed to be done to reverse that trend.  Technological advances in medicine, communication, energy consumption… the future was bright.  Our children’s future was bright. The greatest generation was preparing to leave this world a better place…

And then we screwed up.  We elected an idiot to be President because we wanted to have a beer with him.  Funny how we wanted to have a beer with someone who admitted to abusing alcohol until the age of 40.   But hey, nothing about that election makes much sense.  The popular vote went to the guy who wanted to end our dependency on fossil fuels, but the courts gave the election to the other guy – the guy who campaigned on restoring honor to the White House.  If ever there was a time when we needed someone to govern to the middle – well that would have been the time. 

But you all know how this played out.   And if you have children and grandchildren… well damn it.  We can’t make that mistake again.  The cost is too high.  And in my most humble of opinions, when you put a microphone in front of someone who wants to be President and a whole lot of stupid falls out of their mouth…  Well, I no longer take that lightly because I now know that a whole lot of stupid can still be elected President if you’re not paying attention.

Thanks everyone.  I promise to try and move off the Palin topic soon.  I’ve just never been good at ignoring idiots.  You see, in a country that offers you a free public education and free public libraries there is just no excuse for ignorance… except ignorance itself.

Please stop by again soon.  I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 1, 2008

28% of Americans don’t think Sarah Palin is an Idiot

That was a hoot.  All those people reading my little blog and getting so upset.  Who knew there were so many people who still enjoy hearing Palin talk?  Then again who knew Palin supporters were smart enough to read? 

There sure were a lot of comments about how old I am.  You want in on a little secret?  The picture on the top there was taken several years ago.  I look even older now.  But I still have my figure!  Now Margaret, on the other hand, looks terrific.  She walks everyday.  Eats right.  She’ll out live the whole lot of us.

My favorite thing about young people is that they never look back.  They are always looking ahead.  That’s why when they see someone like me – and by “like me” I mean old – they see a life almost over instead of the life that has been lived.  If I could give them just one piece of advice it would be to make sure you get to the end of your life with no regrets.  Don’t misinterpret.  I didn’t say with no mistakes.  I said no regrets.  If the worst thing I have done in this world is calling Sarah Palin a bitch then I haven’t lived much of a life.  And if it’s the best thing I’ve done then I would have a lot of regrets.

I lived through McCarthyism.  I don’t recall anyone being asked to shut up.  As I remember it, the tactic was to use people’s words and writings and their relationships with others to suggest that they were unpatriotic, unAmerican and a communist sympathiser.  Now who does that sound like?  Oh yes, an aging beauty queen from Alaska who became governor because a whopping 114,697 Alaskans voted for her. She beat her opponent by 17,000 votes which is almost twice the population of the town that elected her Mayor.   And she got a national platform because McCain was desperate to get support from the Republican base – otherwise known as the 28% of Americans who still think Bush is doing a good job. 

When someone is talking during a movie, I ask them to be quiet.  If they are on their cell phone, I tell them to shut the hell up.  When a radio station plays music I don’t like, I change the station.  When a news station gives platform to someone like  Sean Hannity or Ann Coulter, I tell them to shut the hell up. In my day, the local and national news shows went to great lengths to let you know when they were providing an editorial or opinion piece rather than reporting the news.  Only newspapers seem to do that these days and even then it can be hard to tell when you have left the news pages and started into the editorials.  Rush Limbaugh – not news.  Not fair and balanced.  Certainly not excellence in broadcasting – now that one’s a real laugh riot.   Rush Limbaugh is like me – old, fat and opinionated.  The difference is that I am also funny while he is just old and fat.  Neither of us is news.

You know back in school I loved science.  Most girls hated the day the frogs arrived.  I loved it.  Dissecting them to see how they worked.   Fascinating.  I think that is why I like writing this blog so much.  For me it’s not about what I have written, it’s about the comments that follow.  I read each one of them to see how everyone reacts to what I have written.  And that last batch was a doozy.

This 28% of America intrigues me.  I really would like to figure out how they work.  So I began to dissect the comments.  A lot of it was child’s play.  Sticks and stones sort of stuff.  Like the following comment:

“You Silly dummies!”

My, my but there is a blog I would love to read.  It’s a shame she didn’t leave an address. Kind of reminded me of our old friend John McCain. He wanted to be mean but he really wasn’t very good at it.

And let’s get the really stupid stuff out of the way.  It took this “senile old bitty” about 1 minute to research and discover that, in fact, Barack Obama is a U.S. born citizen with an authentic birth certificate.  I mean, my God people, that is the best you can do?  At least give your beloved Sarah Palin some credit.  If the guy wasn’t even legally qualified to run, that idiot would have surely made that her stump speech rather than some hard to follow, loose association with a college professor named William Ayers.  Enough with the birth certificate already.  At least uncover an illegal war or approved torture inside the military before you get your panties all in a tangle.

Oh and one more thing.  That Messiah bit.  The Chosen one.  How about we wait until he actually walks on water before we start heaping those kinds of expectations on him.  However, he has performed one miracle to date – He became America’s first black President.  He didn’t turn water into wine but he did manage to turn North Carolina from Red to Blue.  That has to count for something.

Now some of the comments actually were a little more interesting.

One person first writes that he is shocked at my hate speech because I called a few politicians idiots and morons.   But then he goes on to write this about every politician:

“Everyone since ol’ Abe has been a lying scumbag. Not a good one in the whole bunch.”

So I guess it just shades of gray.  Idiots and morons is hate speech but lying scumbags is a love fest.  I wonder if he read my earlier rants when I called them bitches and asses.  I guess that would be considered really-hate speech requiring my immediate execution. I do appreciate his broad sweeping approach to it though. Not just Obama but EVERY politician since “ol’ Abe”. Good Ol’ Abe. Did I mention that Abe and I used to date? I’m almost 83. Quick. Do the math.

Here’s one that requires a little more studying to get. See if you can find the hypocrisy. It’s not apparent at first but it’s there:

“You and your cronies are obviously uneducated sheep and think that the constitution is something that to take lightly, well I don’t. If you are not part of the solution than you are part of the problem. At least those people that you bashed are trying to educate people and protect your rights. They do, whether you like or not, have the people of this great country at heart. Not so much can be said for you. You are the one that needs to sit down and shut up! Reep what you sow!”

Ignore the spelling and grammer errors. I’m sure she was typing fast and trying to read the bible at the same time so we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Although she does like Palin so quite a bit of doubt should exist. But did you see it there at the end? The part where I am the one who needs to sit down and shut up.  According to her, I am bad because I told Sarah Plain to sit down and shut up. So to let me know just how bad it is that I have taken the constitution so lightly (read: Free Speech), my punishment should be to sit down and shut up. That and I need to “Reep what I sow.” 

Hypocrisy can be kind of tricky.  She almost pulled it off as well as Rush, Sean and Ann.  But let’s give her a break.  After all, those other guys have had years of practice.  However, she did make me think.  When you have an outlet like Rush and Sean that gives you an audience day in and day out to millions who think you are there to report the news… well then the expression “As you sow, so shall you reap” takes on some real meaning because those guys are sowing a bunch of seeds.  And the rest of us have to live with the “what you reap” part.

But of all the comments that were left. My favorite was from someone called simply “The Watcher”. Sounds so mysterious. Kind of like Big Brother. He started off pretty good when he wrote this:

“I guess it’s true. There are people who do not get wiser with age, instead, they get more bigoted and more opinionated, and more blind. I don’t blame it on age, though. Somewhere in your life you chose those qualities to embrace. I hope some day you wake up and dump them.”

Not bad. At first I thought he might be a nice young man who was just caught off guard by my sailor mouth. Seemed even intelligent compared to most of your run-of-the mill Sarah Palin supporters. He left a few more messages. They too were not bad:

“Palin is a woman, and a classy lady. Love her politics or hate them, it matters none, nothing even vaguely as crass and vile has ever come from her. The real sign of intellect, is being able to use the other person’s words and ideas against them – with honesty and truth. This rabid propaganda is not the work of an admirable person, but of a bitter, angry, spite-filled narcissist.”

OK.  Forget that part about Plain being a classy lady.  I mean that is just stupid.  But the rest of it is pretty good, don’t you think?  That part about using the other person’s words against them.  Now folks, you have to admit, that is good writing.  I really thought the two of us might even become friends.  But then he had to go and write this:

“Pity them. Their sense of betrayal when they discover Obama is not who and what they think will be painful to see. Strong people are not threatened by the failure of others. These people don’t even have a soul. “

Ouch.  That “no soul” part really stings.  Kind of reminds me of our old friend Elizabeth Dole and her “godless American” attack against her opponent.  Note to The Watcher: she lost that election.

I gotta tell ya folks.  You tell someone to shut up and sit the hell down and what you are really saying is that you don’t want to hear their nonsense anymore.   You are tired of their ripping the country apart all in the name of rating wars and advertising dollars.  But when you tell someone that they have no soul… well that ‘s just downright mean.  Don’t cha think?  By golly.  You betcha!

Thanks for stopping by everyone.  Sorry you had to see all that mess along the way.  I think some of you deserve a piece of pie for how you handled it all.  Thank goodess Margaret was out of town.  I hope you still want to come back again.  Really.  I mean it.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 28, 2008

Sarah Palin, sit down and shut the hell up!

I thought I was done.  Really I did.  Obama won.  Bush is almost gone.  I was ready to sit back and enjoy the ride.  Damn it to hell.  She’s back.  One day she’s standing in front of a dying turkey talking about how she needs to get back to the business of running Alaska and the next day she’s making plans to head on down to Georgia to campaign for that devil, Chambliss.  

You see Chambliss is the guy who won the Georgia Senate seat from Max Cleland a few years back.  Now pay attention folks because this is important.  Chambliss suggested that Cleland was soft on homeland security.  Cleland, of course, is a war hero – one who came home from war with three less limbs than when he began.  Yep.  Cleland lost an arm and both legs in defense of his country, but Chambliss defeated him with ads suggesting he didn’t have the courage to protect us from terrorists.

So Chambliss is an ass.  That’s a given.  His opponent in this run-off election is Mr. Martin.  Now Martin  has all of his limbs so Chambliss is not sure how to attack him.  So he called in the Republican attack dog…  a certain pitt bull in lipstick who apparently has more political lives than a pitt cat.  Heads up folks.  Sarah Palin is back and my heart goes out to all our dear friends over there in Georgia.  She’s sort of like headlice.  You can’t just shampoo your hair.  You have to boil everything afterwards.

But let me tell you why I am up on my soap box again so quickly, because I really did plan to relax at least until after the turkey had digested.  The other night we were visiting with neighbors at a kind of pre-holiday block party.  By the way, if you don’t know your neighbors, you should.  People live right next door to complete strangers these days and that just isn’t right.  Neighbors should be part of your extended family. Life was better when we all knew our neighbors.  But I digress.

At this little gathering I met a couple of idiots who live around the corner from us – couple of morons who still have the McCain/Palin sticker on the back of their car.  Here is just a few of the quotes from the evening:

“We are just so worried about what is going to happen to the country now that a Muslim is President.”

“William Ayers raised a lot of money for Obama’s campaign and now Obama owes him a lot of favors.”

“Did you know that no one has been able to prove that he actually graduated from Harvard?”

Trust me, that was just a sampling.  I asked them where they had heard this load of crap and I got various references to Limbaugh and Fox News.   Complete and utter idiots. I wanted to tell them to sit down and shut the hell up, but they are neighbors.  So before I left I told them if they wanted to live in fear that was their choice, but when they were ready to rejoin society do drop by for a piece of pie. 

When I got back home, I made the mistake of watching the news.    Now I don’t know what Margaret thinks about this because she is visiting family and probably hasn’t turned on the boob tube even once.  But when I heard that Sarah Palin will be heading to Georgia to campaign for Chambliss…  Well Sarah Palin is not my neighbor.  And the last time I checked Alaska was a long way from Georgia.  So I hope my friends in Georgia will join me in saying, “Governor Palin, sit down and shut the hell up.”

And while I am on the soap box:

Rush Limbaugh has had the mic entirely too long.  For years he has kept this country divided with hate speech and lies.  Quite frankly he probably has done more to harm this country than even George Bush.  He is neither funny nor relevant anymore.  And have you listened to the morons who call into his show?  Poor man has to pander to idiots day in and day out.  His open mic Friday must be pure torture.  OxyContin is a powerful pain pill.  Is there any doubt why he would need it so desperately?   Together we should all tell him and his callers to sit down and shut the hell up.

Same goes for Ann Coulter.  Have you read any of her books.   I read a few pages of her last one and it made me wonder if she ever actually went to school.  My daughter is a teacher and the kids in her second grade class can write better than that.  Ann’s an idiot who also needs to sit down and shut the hell up.  And while you’re at it, Ann, cross your legs.  Nobody needs to see that.

Sean Hannity is a waste of the time it took me to type this sentence.  Sit down and shut the hell up, Sean.  Winning in a debate against Alan Colmes is like Michael Phelps lapping me in the pool.  This is the best Fox News can give us each evening?  Shameful.  Just shameful.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  Well, actually I have nothing to say because I am pretty sure no one is listening to her anymore.  I wonder what rat tastes like when it comes back up?

Take a hint from your leader.  Bush has pretty much checked out.  Of course that assumes he had ever really checked in.  But my point is that Obama isn’t President yet and he already seems to be running the show.  Thank God.

So Sean, Ann, Rush, Sarah et al.   I am not asking for you to give up even a single limb for your country… just your tongue.  We’ve heard enough of your crap.  We’re ready to move on to better days and smarter people.

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving, and I am sorry if this rant ruined your holiday.  I mean it.  Really.

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