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Posted by: Helen Philpot | January 10, 2017

Ten Monkeys Tweeting On Ten IPhones Would Make A Better President Than Trump

Margaret, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and rejoin the world again.  I figured enough time had passed since the election and surely Trump had finally made that pivot and started acting like a President. So I tuned in to CNN and…

Nope. 

Now, I’m not sure if Meryl Streep is overrated.  I mean she’s no Scott Baio, I’ll give you that.  But that’s really not the point, is it?  The point is that the man-child about to become our next President couldn’t come up with a better retort than that?  

“Meryl Streep is one of the most overrated actresses…”  as a comeback has about as much intellectual maturity as “I know you are, but what am I?”  And he couldn’t even do it in 140 characters.  It took him 16 minutes and 417 characters to write the literary equivalent of “I’m made of rubber and you’re made of glue.”  Good Lord, he can’t even use an ellipsis correctly. 

 Three dots, Donald. Three.

Honestly, ten monkeys banging on ten typewriters could have come up with a better response in less time.  And it should come as no surprise that Trump had already forgotten a year earlier telling the Hollywood Reporter that “Meryl Streep is excellent.”  We can only hope a year from now the man also forgets he was elected President and just wanders back to Trump Tower never to return to Washington.  Of course that would leave us with Pence…

Three dots, Donald.  Three.

But it’s really not about Streep being overrated as an actress or Trump being outperformed by a group of typing chimpanzees.  It’s about the fact that Trump actually did mock a disabled person.  It’s about the fact that disrespect really does invite disrespect, and violence really does incite violence.   And when the powerful use their position to bully others we all really do lose.

Trump made fun of and imitated a disabled person.  It’s all on video and rather than believing what we all can see, we are being told we didn’t actually see it.   Just like we are told that Meryl Streep is the most excellent……….. No wait……..  Meryl Streep is the most overrated……. No wait…..

Three dots.  Three.

I just might have to tune out again, Margaret.  If only because I am beginning to think that we would have been better off electing those ten chimps instead of this asshat.  I mean it.  Really.

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Responses

  1. Of course that would leave us with Pence…indeed, the British oddsmakers are giving even odds on impeachment, 5-1 before 2-1-17, we live in interesting times.

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  2. Oooops. And I caught myself making an error in my previous post; failing to close the final parentheses!

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  3. Anonymous is right; if the ellipses are between two complete sentences, there are four, and it’s written . … (the space between the first mark and the other three denotes a period). Three dots, Donald, three (I may use that from now on as a signature line!

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  4. […] blogosphere’s feistiest octogenarians react to the illegitimate (emoluments, anyone?) president-elect’s abuse of his 140-character bully […]

    Liked by 1 person

  5. […] blogosphere's feistiest octogenarians react to the illegitimate (emoluments, anyone?) president-elect's abuse of his 140-character bully pulpit […]

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  6. Thank you for posting, Helen. I thought I’d found you too late, but forlornly kept checking back and here you are! Just the other day a Trump supporter told me to grow up, and then proceed to insult me with words that could be boiled down to, “I know you are, but what am I!” So, yeah. You’ve gotta love being told to grow up by a 40 year old third-grader copying his insults from a 70 year old tweeting kindergartner.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you Helen – intelligent, funny and right on point as always.

    The only way I can actually make sense of this lunacy is to believe we DID elect Hillary. She won the popular vote and decades from now we will discover she won the electoral college too. She simply didn’t win by enough of a margin to overcome the flawed/hacked voting machines, fake news, the Russians, the FBI, and, of course, Comey himself. (These are the factors we know about.)

    I’ve never been a conspiracy theorist or activist anything. I am simply a well educated citizen who lived through the JFK assassination, MLK, Bobby Kennedy, Watergate, Iran-contra, the Hostage crisis, numerous wars, and unbelievable fraud and election trickery. It took this “election” to push my intermittent cynicism to being deeply jaded forevermore when it comes to politics in this country.

    After reading the late (conservative) Christopher Hitchen’s 2005 scathing report on rigged Ohio voting machines in the 2004 Bush election — I have considered that this could happen again, in multiple ways, and in impactful margins. As of 2016, I am no longer convinced that the US has “free and fair” elections. I will continue to vote, however, I have completely lost faith in our system.

    Personally, I believe that unless a candidate is SO popular as to bring out the vote in overwhelming numbers: enough to override voter suppression, (literal) road blocks, voter roll purges, restricted early voting, voter ID laws, and/or voting district gerrymandering — we are not in charge.

    Unless and until we ENCOURAGE voting among ALL our citizens through non-partisan laws by our actions and have open elections that are truly transparent, authentically audited, and validated – my faith will not be restored.

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  8. “Prima-donnie” crowd – meaning those who support trump unconditionally.

    I saw “prima-donnie” in a comment and stole it! Sorry… but thank you!

    Peace.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Terri, its very simple. Trump is Putin’s bitch. He is in debt to Putin. For ages, ever since the fall of the hammer and sickle, Trump has been trying to put a Trump hotel in Red Square. Unfortunately American banks will not loan anything to such a deadbeat. See where this is going?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. What the hell is going on with Trump and the Russians?? His love of Putin and Russia is the only thing he has been consistent on. I smell a rat. Cynthiia, I agree, our country and its integrity are at great risk for the next four years.

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  11. Nailed it, Helen, as usual—and far more politely than I have been able to do, so far. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This may not be “my” original idea but here it is:

    On Friday, January 20th wear black to mourn the death of a free and civilized society we know and love as America.

    IMO this new administration is about to destroy all of what is good about this country.

    Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Cynthia, our group also has “adjunct” group marches, especially in East Coast states. Fingers are crossed on all of this! We will join up arm in arm here in D.C. Makes it harder for anyone to break up a line that way and haul off individuals just walking alone in the crowd. Fingers are also crossed that it all goes off peacefully here and elsewhere. Hopefully we are not being naive about it all. D.C. does attract all sorts of people, including the one who recently went to a very popular family pizza restaurant armed to the teeth looking for Hillary and some supposedly child hostages. He’s in custody but another one just like the first one has popped up. See what I mean?

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  14. “Allen (D-Ward 6) said at least 1,200 buses have applied for permits to park at RFK Stadium in Washington on Jan. 21, the day of the Women’s March on Washington, while 200 have applied for parking the day before, Inauguration Day. NBC4 first reported the figures. RFK has a capacity of 1,300 buses.”

    We are women hear us roar!! Thank you to all the women going.

    I wish I could join however it seems I had toooo good of a time when I younger and the old body did not hold up as expected!! I will join our local march for a block! Hopefully!

    Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Porch dwellers, take heart. A second source has substantiated the news coming from our intel. people. It is none other than a British source! you know, Britain, our ally? Check it out on other sites such as NYT and maybe even Huff Post. Hair Trump had to backstop finally and admit the Russian hacking. What that does ultimately to all of his investments in Moscow couldn’t bother me int he least!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Traitor Trump may be an ongoing target but please don’t ignore what our Republican majority Congress is covertly or overtly legislating. They may have been caught with both hands in the cookie jar when they tried to abolish the ethics committee but a day or two later, they managed to pass legislation that allows them to keep their personal financial records secret from any investigation.. I haven’t seen much coverage of this…just on the Huffington Post so far…
    Traitor Trump may manifest a new and dangerous low but he hasn’t emerged from the ether. He’s the result of the Republican coup that began with Bush being handed the presidency by the Supremes, Fox faux News, gerrymandering, voting rights restrictions, etc. and that continued with their obstruction over the eight years of the Obama presidency and culminated in their refusal to give Obama’s nominee for the Supreme Court vacancy…Merrick Garland a hearing. The FBI/James Comey appears to be part of this vast right wing coup as well. At least Trump demands attention and we are daily witnesses to his hucksterism, but the Republicans prefer secret and dark spaces for their dark work.
    I’m gobsmacked by the lack of any response to counter Trump and his tribe.
    Perhaps it’s just a matter of time…
    As I’ve posted before, the only recourse I see is to work at all levels to elect progressive Democrats who are willing to represent the common good. I’m hoping that their unequivicle commitment to comprehensive campaign finance reform among other progressive goals such as comprehensive health care, comprehensive financial regulation, environmental justice,public school funding, women’s health support…well, you get the idea…will identify them as true public servants.
    It’s a new day/age and it’s not feeling promising….

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  17. well, he just told CNN he wouldn’t answer their question at his press conference because they are FAKE NEWS, CNN people, CNN. sheesh!

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  18. Yes! You’re back! Fresh air!

    I will be spending inauguration day at the doctor’s office. Golly gee! What will be done to me there is not covered by my Medicare so I will have to shell out for it. Its a new thing. It takes a long, long time before Medicare dares to cover something new. but I would rather be at the doctor’s office rather than on Capitol Hill watching the Punch and Judy show or at home gnashing my teeth over all the stations that will be carrying nothing but the inaugural. At that time of day even HBO et al. are at a loss for fresh stuff. I have been very sweetly invited to join the Womens March the following day but would bet I will still be swallowing Tylenol and clutching a heating pad. My BFFs will just have to make do without me. Hope they know and understand why they must have legal ID on their persons somewhere, a bit of money and a note containing the name of a family/friend or lawyer to call. Can you tell I’ve done a few marches in my time?

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  19. Please Margaret and Helen fans, on Jan. 20, keep your TVs on, tuned to non-inaugeration coverage. It will give Trump low ratings and hurt his feelings. I am also praying for sunshine and light breezes, because I do not want to let them blame the weather for low turnout.

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  20. Don’t tune out! I am anxiously awaiting a post on the latest and greatest news out regarding the blackmail material 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Would-that-we-could all tune out…but…that… would be irresponsible and an ultimate defeat of our ideals for human decency, equality, care for this planet/creation…as well as…a sellout of hope!

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  22. Negative nasty comments always say more about the poster than who it’s directed against. Pathetic.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Mike Barry – you’re not even worth wasting a retort on.

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  24. I am so glad you’re back. You will help us get through this frightening four years with a little humor. Ten monkeys is good. You will have a lot of good material. Thanks…

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  25. Diane Mintz-Streep did not “attack the other half.” Calling out intolerance is what sane Americans must do, there is no way to sugarcoat the truth. Being nice will never work, just take a look at Smokin Joe-they have earned their Deplorable status.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. I’m reminded a little of Molly Ivins’ talk about Rush Limbaugh and satire. She said that satire, which can be vicious at times, is traditionally a tool used by the powerless to take the powerful down a notch or two, and when used by the powerful on the less powerful becomes supremely vulgar.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. You two old butch lesbians are hilarious!
    Keep up the good work!

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  28. Not sure what is going on. I should go to bed. Populace and that is all.

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  29. No do-overs here, meant populacen ot pupulace.:)

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  30. Thanks Helen! It is not amusing at all to leave in uncertainty and not knowing what will happen next. For the pupulace to predict with certainty behavior that is unbecoming from the person who is supposed to remain calm in the middle of storms, and inspire confidence and leadership when people are afraid, is just too unsettling. God helps us.

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  31. Meryl said it much better than I could!

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  32. At this point any animal with its paws using a typewriter would make more sense than traitor trump. I keep hoping that his own heavily armed minions will get tired of him and start shooting and just run the asshat out of town. Tar, feathers and a rail are also recommended. But please PLEASE take that idiot pence too. And the whole rethuglicans so called leadership.

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  33. Diane – Your comments are so important, especially about name-calling. We cannot do that, for exactly the reasons you state.

    Thank you for the reminder. If only we could convincr the media to stop reporting his every tweet as if it mattered!

    RESIST, FOCUS, and WORK LOCAL.

    Gato

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  34. You are so right, Helen. As the lovely, late Joan Mondale used to say, “I’m a yellow dog democrat. I’d vote for a yellow dog if it were running on the Democratic ticket.” And, my take on that is that the yellow dog would make a better president than orange buffoon tRump.

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  35. I’ll be at our local Women’s March on January 21. Hope all of you are at yours, also!

    Liked by 2 people

  36. Loved your post but I would beg to differ with the three ellipses. It is four if it is the end of a sentence, or at least I was always taught that.

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  37. Loved this blog post. His ignorance is fodder in your hands. One eensy matter: we are in such a divided country and Meryl Streep’s wonderful speech did end by attacking the other half. (comment about football and mixed martial arts not being art at the end of her speech) This just allows his supporters to tune out what we say because it makes them the deplorables again. Defensiveness tends to create deafness. We really hope that they will hear and see beyond the Orange One.

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  38. It is true, and so sad. And you said it so well Helen.

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  39. Hope it doesn’t take too long for the “trumpers” to find out just how they’ve been hood-winked.

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  40. Well said! This is a really depressing and frightening time. This Brooklyn elite had a long conversation with Hillary when she was running for Senate. She came to our elementary school to listen to the issues the teachers had. She really listened and she definitely got us. Her defeat is a tragedy for this country. Keep up the wise words. You are one of a small group of journalists who make sense.

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  41. A more inept ass couldn’t be found in a jungle full of chimps.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. The 2 most frightening words in the English language? President Trump!!

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  43. AWESOME!! Thanks for this piece; found it linked on DU. Wonderfully stated. One nit-pick: chimpanzees aren’t monkeys. Cheers! Enjoy the approaching apocalypse.

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  44. THANK YOU for carrying on. We’re somewhat safe from him here in CA, but the thought of FOUR years is Terrifying, nauseating, etc. We MUST do away with the electoral college, which was based on slavery, and violates the one man (or one woman) one vote.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Could not have said it better myself. If I have to listen to Kellyanne try to defend this idiot for the next 4 years I will scream. That trump bunch lives in unreality. The idiot trump is a pathological liar. He says stuff and then denies it within 5 minutes. Is he going to say the same kind of crap to the queen of England if she disagrees with him ? Is he going to fondle Kate because it is ok for his famous self to do that ? His video proves his dissing of the handicapped reporter. He is totally an asshat and worse.

    Russia and the idiot trump and his cronies admitted to and bragged about intelligence hacking by Russia. Caught on tape, you idiot. And please, someone take that damn phone away from him. Presidents can not have smart phones. They can be hacked. What is the difference between the idiot tweeting foreign leaders and Hillary using her personal email ? So did Condi Rice and Colin Powel, both Repubs. It was not at the time against any rules to use personal emails. It IS against the rules for a president to have a smart phone or in trumps case an idiot phone.

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  46. So happy that you are baaaaak! It’s been a long dry spell, without much inspiration. Although Meryl’s speech at the GG did wake me up some.

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  47. I’m pretty sure that the 10 monkeys would throw considerably less poop around than Trump does on any given day, too. It’s gonna be a long 4 years … Three dots, Donald.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Glad to hear from you, Helen. Sorry about the subject matter. Hope you keep commenting on the continuous constitutional crisis that is about to erupt.

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  49. Love this. I would vote for the ten monkeys!!!

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  50. Great post! Thanks!

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  51. I love you!

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  52. Thank you for coming back!

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  53. Huh!?! I’ve never……felt the need to limit myself to only 3 dots! hahah…. 3 dots named picky, petty, and pokey. Go ahead….be expressive………..do it in your own individual manner!

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  54. Brilliant and on spot analysis as usual. We need you in 2017!!

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  55. Reblogged this on Pyromomma's Blog.

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  56. BRAVO Helen!

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  57. You are overrated too you fat ass. Trump will put all of you in jail soon enough. Mexican back to Mexico

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  58. >

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  59. I can’t fit in my jeans. I hate you James!

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  60. Well said!

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  61. Thanks Helen, you have been missed, tell it sister!

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Thanks again, Helen. Just when I want to throw myself over a cliff, I get your blog and I laugh again. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, to be sure.

    Regards,

    Con

    ________________________________

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Don’t tune out for long stretches. Please!

    What got me is his mouth piece, Kelly Ann, says we’re not supposed to judge his words, just what in his heart. I was really shocked by that because I didn’t think our president-elect had a heart.

    Liked by 2 people

  64. I love you, Helen. I’d vote for you, rather than those 10 monkeys.

    ________________________________

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Please, Helen, don’t give up just yet. As one Helen to another, we all must keep watching this train wreck and continue to speak truth to power. I know, I know, mixed metaphors, etc.😂

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  66. Please don’t tune out again. We need you.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. Reblogged this on Central Oregon Coast NOW.

    Like

  68. I feel your pain, Helen. I feel your pain!

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Excellent! How are we going to survive four years with is clown whose skill with the English language is deplorable! Maybe he has Alzheimer’s since he can not remember anything he has said previously.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. You are always spot on with your comments. Is it possible to have a recall election? Trump vs 10 monkeys? Thank you.

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  71. Orange buffoon for president, ten monkeys in the cabinet, but millions of other monkeys supporting him STILL …that’s the real scary part

    Liked by 3 people

  72. We’ve missed you! Thank God you are back and not holding back. You are going to be needed these next 4 (ugh) years.
    Unfortunately, I’m afraid those ten chimpanzees have been selected for his cabinet positions. God help us.
    I mean it. Really.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. I still can’t believe that orange buffoon is going to be sworn in as President of our country! Keep posting Helen, It’s probably the only thing that will keep me sane. Let’s hope the impeachment process starts on January 21!

    Liked by 1 person

  74. Ah Helen…I share your outrage and dismay.

    Liked by 1 person

  75. Yes, glad to hear from you. I knew you couldn’t remain silent for long with the creep that’s about to inhabit the Oval Office. (sorry to insult creeps)

    Liked by 1 person

  76. Missed you, Helen. Spot on as always.

    Liked by 1 person


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