My name is Helen Philpot. My grandson taught me how to do this so that I could “blog” with my best friend Margaret Schmechtman who I met almost 60 years ago. I have three children with my husband Harold. Margaret has three dogs with her husband Howard. I live in Texas and Margaret lives in Maine.
FAQ
Are you for real?
Why is that so hard to believe? Now I know what Santa Claus must feel like.
Have you really been friends for 60 years?
Some friendships last a lifetime. We just seem to be living a hell of a long time.
Is this a fake blog?
We got a few scary emails when I first wrote about Sarah Palin so my grandson told me to change our last names on the web page blog. Philpot was my grandmother’s maiden name and Schmechtman is actually the name of a bird Margaret keeps as a pet. That bird shits on everything, but she loves him.
Why doesn’t Margaret write more?
She prefers to pick up the phone and call. I guess I am more the writer, but she is a wonderful artist. I have some of her paintings in my house. My grandchildren set me up on this computer, but Margaret always has problems getting on the Internet and says it is too slow. Maybe it is a Maine thing. She reads all of the comments and calls me when she sees a comment that she wants to talk about. Sometimes she offers witty lines that I add to my stories.
Is Margaret a Republican?
Her husband is.
Why did you go so long between blogs before now?
Actually we had several more things on the web page but when it began to get popular my grandson suggested that we take them off because they were personal between me and Margaret. I sometimes write short stories and would put them on here for Margaret to read. Some of it was racy. Much of it was just nonsense.
Will you keep doing this after the election?
Yes, but I don’t know if everyone will keep coming back. There are lots of idiots out there who aren’t running for office, but don’t get me started on that shit for brains Elisabeth from The View.
Why do you use foul language?
It makes me laugh. Some of the best words in the world are bullshit and ass. I don’t use bitch very much, but the shoe seemed to fit this occasion. My grandson says it makes me cool. Margaret hardly ever cusses, but some of our readers taught her the word “asshat” and she found that very funny.
Are comments moderated?
Not really. My grandson has been known to remove some remarks and has even banned a few bad apples from future comments. Margaret and I think some of you are a hoot and we think others are full of bullshit. But all are welcome – within reason – and considering some of my rants, within reason goes a long way in my book. The f-word (you decide which one) gets you an automatic kick in the ass. Same goes for the N word.
How can we reach you?
My grandson set up an email that we can check when we have time. You can send us a message there, but we can’t promise that we will answer all of them. bighelenskitchen@yahoo.com
You two ladies prove Crone trumps all. I found you on a Facebook page called Rabid Feminists. Imagine that!
When my grandmother was 80, she started not having much to say – or so it would seem. I’m almost 60, old enough to realize it was more about abiding fools. Us. Tell your grandson we all think he did a good, good thing. You know that the interwebs are forever, right?
By: pdxsays on September 19, 2012
at 4:07 PM
Love your posts…keep them coming. Nice to know that other older, grayhaired medicare and social security recipients don’t say I’ve got mine! You care too just like me.
By: cobracruising on September 19, 2012
at 11:53 AM
Was it Schmeckleman or Schmechtman who was a character on Jamie Lee Curtis’s TV show? In any event, please keep writing, don’t take time off, give your grandson a major huge thank you hug for setting this up. We need you now that Molly Ivins is gone.
By: Anonymous on September 9, 2012
at 2:45 PM
I googled you and put you in favorites. Saw some links on the google search talking about whether your blog is faked. I thought “who cares? It’s wonderful. Used to follow you diligently, but got a new laptop and sort of forgot my favs.
By: James Hard on September 6, 2012
at 3:54 AM
This is my first time reading this blog and I’m hooked! My grandmother is 92 and she still is who I consider the first feminist in the family. She still believes in women’s rights and I absolutely adore her! I don’t get to see or talk to her as much as I like, maybe, but I still love her oodles. She reminds me of you a little bit. Sassy and full of piss n vinegar as the saying goes. Don’t stop, please after the election is over. Because we all know that even defeating Romney and Ryan won’t stop the war on women. You are so refreshing, and its nice to know that not every female senior citizen believes that the GOP politics are best. Lots of love and a long life to you and Margaret both!
By: Laureth on August 22, 2012
at 9:51 AM
I just received a link to your post re vaginas and have signed up for your posts. Refreshing, irreverent, entertaining and right on! You rock!
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at 11:20 PM
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By: captcha breaker on August 7, 2012
at 3:31 AM
When I grow up, I want to be you. You ladies rock. Thank you for such incredible,spot on, perspective. Please write more often!!
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at 6:02 PM
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at 2:19 AM
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By: bypass fileserve captcha on July 29, 2012
at 11:45 AM
I absolutely love your blog. My childhood friend recently moved away and your blog has inspired us to create our own blog to correspond until she is finished with her doctoral program in three years. We have been friends for about a third of the time that you all have, but we’re definitely in it for the long haul, however long that may be. Thanks for the great commentary! Looking forward to many more posts!
By: Jessica Porter Matheson on July 11, 2012
at 8:10 PM
this blog must turn up in the most unusual places. i found it on a branch of the Lonely Planet Travel site and I think I will become addicted. I like to say that my oldest friend was waiting in the hospital room for me to arrive. Our mothers met in the Maternity ward, and I arrived two days after she did.; We have been friends for 73 years. She lives on the other side of the country, but we are still in touch, still visit each other. She, like you, has children and grandchildren. I, like your friend, have had lots of dogs. Thank you for brightening my morning, and i will share your column with her.
By: elain genser on July 3, 2012
at 11:51 AM
Hey awesome ladies
I see that the also-awesome grandson has a page for donations, would you ask him to include a post office box address so those of us who don’t feel safe entering credit card info online can send support with an old-fashioned check/money order?
Meanwhile, thanks for the blog and keep up the great commentary!
By: Anonymous on July 2, 2012
at 3:01 PM
to continue from a truncated e-mail, bitchiness is an art form, and I working on becoming an artist. BTW, not anonymous, I am jan.
By: jan on June 30, 2012
at 3:46 PM
introduced to you by my baby sister (I know, i know, Potser, but you will ALWAYS be the baby sister, and at 60+ that must be annoying, but I’m 70 and nearly EVERYTHING is ‘ridikkulus’.
mostly I want to respond to the mis-use of 4+ letter words: BITCH is not profanity, it is a verb, a skill I have worked very hard to achieve, i
By: Anonymous on June 30, 2012
at 3:41 PM
I am pleased that I found this blog through a friend’s FB post. I love it for 3 reasons: 1. I have a 90 year old grandma named Helen who is a total hoot and a progressive from the WWII era. 2. I am a progressive who loves reading about this stuff…I have 2 daughters and I need to raise them to be able to function in society no matter who is trying to boss them around. 3. I have a BFF that has been MY Margaret for 24 years and I can only hope that we are blessed to live as long as these two ladies. Thanks.
By: Theresa on June 29, 2012
at 10:09 PM
There must be many women “best friends for life” in this country who have the combination of personalies of you, Helen, and Margaret. My best friend for life, Zee, lives in California (she followed me there then I left, meadered the world and ended up back in Okla..go figure!). I live in south central Oklahoma. I write, act as a literary agent for a chosen few, and like to fb. She doesn’t know how to face book, finally learned to email but also prefers a good phone chat. (Our usual time on phone is over an hour.) I am becoming addicted to your blog already! Very “like minds” but your humor is better. I haven’t made it to octo yet, finishing up sixtes.
By: Mattie on June 29, 2012
at 1:54 PM
I’m a handbag designer (I won’t post our website here because I don’t want to appear to be advertising). I love your blog and I’d just love to send you a couple of bags to say “thank you” for the work you’re doing. We did this for Rachel Maddow, too, so you’d be in good company. (She really liked the bags, by the way.) Please email me at marty{at}rebagz.com so I can send you my “thank you” gifts for being SUCH an inspiration.
By: Marty on June 26, 2012
at 11:29 PM
I’ve shied away from politics for a long time- from reality in general, truth be told, but mostly politics. I discovered one day that every issue has a side (gasp!), and that every proposed law has something lurking within it that has absolutely nothing to do with the law proposed. This scared me because I felt there was no way I was ever going to make a truly informed decision. There was no way I will ever be able to keep a butterfly effect from destroying one thing by trying to protect another. (I hope that makes sense.) So I became passive, figuring that people smarter than me could make all the decisions, and I would stand by and accept whatever poop rolled down the hill.
I’ve slowly begun to realize (yes, I’m slow that way) that those people I expected to be smarter than me were not. And there is no way I can ever be completely informed over every nuance of an issue. All I can do is do the best I can, and pray I have made the best decision possible.
I told my daughter one time I wanted to be Betty White when I got older (she tells me I already am). Now I have a loftier goal- I want to be Helen Philpot.
Lisa L.
By: Lisa L. on June 26, 2012
at 11:04 AM
You gave me giggles from the start! I look forward to reading more and sharing! You both are role models for all ages, male and female! Please keep up with the good words. You would have made splendid teachers!
By: Bette on June 25, 2012
at 6:57 PM
I love your blog and know about having a best friend for a long time. My best friend Kathleen lives on the other side of the country and we’ve been friends now for over 56 years. I’m the big political writer/blogger and she’s more of a phone person too. Love your blog! Tell it like it is!
By: annwerner on June 25, 2012
at 3:34 PM
My friend just sent me your link and I’m thrilled! Y’all are terrific and I’m going to share with everyone. You’re smart, funny and honest and I love it!!! Keep on blogging!!!
By: theforgottenwife on June 25, 2012
at 10:40 AM
Love love love your blog! You are the type of women we are in desperate need of these days. Keep blogging, keep on being forth right, keep on keeping on!
By: Anonymous on June 25, 2012
at 1:14 AM
You are a jewel – please keep writing!
By: Anonymous on June 24, 2012
at 5:58 PM
Hi – just discovered your blog today and wanted to tell you I love you (in a total-stranger-on-the-internet-but-non-creepy-way). You remind me of my mom who is 86 and also very cool. I bet she would like your blog, if I could just get her on the internet!
By: jenithea on June 24, 2012
at 2:19 PM
I loved your post on vaginas. A friend forwarded it to me and I, in turn, sent it on. I love your views and attitude and am so glad your grandson helped you get your words out over the Internet. I look forward to reading your blog in the future!
By: Moochie914 on June 24, 2012
at 1:49 PM
You ladies are amazing women, I’m glad I found you (via a link on Facebook!)
By: elodieunderglass on June 24, 2012
at 12:55 PM
I am 64 years young and had a grandmother who was faithful in her marriage and sexually very liberated for her generation. What a gift this was to me as I was growing up. It prepared me to take my place, front and center, in the woman’s movement of the 60′s. She never denied her vagina, knew the pleasure and pain of it and was free to express her womanhood through it and because of it. My grandfather was a lifelong Republican who was very fortunate to have “Franny” in his life.
By: nicole galant on June 24, 2012
at 8:17 AM
Loved the piece on vaginas. My mother would have laughed her ass off. Please keep going with your blog, the younger generation needs it badly. As a father of daughters, they need to hear of women with steel in their spines.
By: mvm33 on June 23, 2012
at 11:30 PM
Funny and refreshingly honest comments about women and those awful Republican men. Keep it up.
By: iriss924 on June 23, 2012
at 12:15 PM