Margaret, they passed a $2.2 trillion dollar stimulus package. For years we’ve complained about failing schools, homelessness, hunger, affordable healthcare, clean water, clean air… Who knew that the real problem was the Cheesecake Factory not able to pay its April rent?
One trillion dollars is a big number. Very big. At first, I thought it was a hundred billion, but I was a zero off. It’s one thousand billion or 1,000,000,000,000. How does one get their head around 1,000 billion? Is one million million better? Twelve zeros. Wow.
Well, it’s a butt load of money for sure. And we got $2.2 trillion. And by we, I mean corporations.
I know. I know. A bunch of people are saying “But we’re all getting a check for $1,200.” Well not all. But a lot of us will. So yes. The American taxpayer finally got some relief. Twelve hundred for everyone is a lot of money.
Or maybe not…
Less than half of Americans pay taxes. Mainly because some people, mostly dependent children, don’t work. And then some taxpayers make more than the $99,000 (three zeros) limit. And let’s face it. If your paycheck has that many zeros, you don’t need a stimulus check. You’ll be fine. <insert sarcastic granny emoji here>
But see, here’s the deal. Remember that $2.2 trillion dollars? With that many zeros you could just cut a $6,000 check for EVERY American no matter how old. That’s $24,000 for a family of four. Hell, you could give everyone $3,000 and still have $1.2 trillion dollars to save the airlines, cruise lines, and the Kennedy Center. That’s $12,000 to a family of four and you still have $1,200,000,000,000 leftover to give to businesses.
Suddenly that $1,200 from Mitch McConnell and company isn’t looking so good, is it? Oh, but it gets worse. Do you see that point two there at the end of $2.2 trillion? That point 2 is actually two hundred billion or $200,000,000,000. A two followed by 11 zeros. You take just that point 2 and every American could get $600 or $2,400 for a family of four.
Point Two.
But not every American needs a bailout. So how about we just go back to those tax payers who are getting $1,200. That’s about 150 million people… or 150,000,000. That’s a lot of people. I mean look at all those zeros. If you give all of those people $1,200 surely there won’t be enough left over to save the airlines.
Let’s do the math: 1,200 times 150 million… carry the one… add a zero… and look at that… it adds up to a whopping 180 billion dollars.
$180,000,000,000
That leaves roughly 2 trillion dollars to help the Cheesecake Factory.
$2.02 trillion to be exact.
I don’t know about you, but I’d say the American people just got screwed again. But there’s cheesecake at the end of this story so that’s good.
And while we’re all enjoying our cheesecake, we can enjoy Trump talking about how big this bailout is. The biggest ever. Huge. Very huge. Like nothing we’ve ever seen before. And we had to do it. We had to. We had the greatest economy in like forever, and it was tanking. The numbers were dropping. So, we had to do it.
Trump recently said we had to save the airlines and the cruise ships because “like they are probably the biggest industry in the country. Travel and leisure. I mean if you add them all up together, they are like the biggest.”
Guess what? They aren’t even in the top ten.
Now how is it that I know that, but the President of the United States doesn’t? And how is it that in a room full of reporters, no one asked the question, “Are you high, sir? Or are you just making this shit up?” The first reporter who asks that question gets a best-selling book deal and a prime-time cable news show. I’d guarantee it. Because all of us at home are certainly thinking it. Hell, we’re throwing shit at the TV when you don’t ask it. “Mr. President, do you get along with the Mayor of New York?” What the hell kind of question is that?
You want to ask questions? Here are a few questions to ask:
- If you have to choose between a falling stock market and people dying, which do you choose, sir?
- Being we haven’t seen your tax returns Mr. President, how much did your family’s stock portfolio just go up? I’m not talking about your companies, sir. Those were exempted out. And I’m sure you’ll whine about that soon enough. I’m talking about your stock investments and those of your kids. How much did those just go up?
- Mr. President, sir, why is your face orange? (Hey, they asked Elizabeth Warren what she used on her face.)
- Mr. President, why did you lie to the American people about the dangers of this virus?
- With all due respect, sir, most people aren’t in the stock market and they don’t want to go back to work until it’s safe. Do you think it’s right for them to risk their lives so the Dow goes back up?
- Sir. Sir. Over here sir. Yes. I was wondering if I could ask you about that point two trillion?
- Mr. President, when we open the country back up on Easter Sunday, will there be cheesecake?
If a United States Republican Congressman can yell “liar” at President Obama during the State of the Union, can’t one reporter do it to Trump during a press briefing? It’s what Trump does more than anything else. And it’s what he is best at – Lying. He lies about his golf game. He lies about his taxes. He lies about test kits. He lies about ventilators. He lies about the size of his hands. The man lies about his lies. Don’t fact check him after the fact. If I can tell he’s lying from my sofa, surely you can call him out while he’s right there?
To be honest, I had to look up that airline industry thing to be certain, but I was pretty sure. Not a single reporter could figure that out? If only you had like a professional fact checker thing. Like a device you could carry around. Maybe small enough to fit in your hand. Something you could quickly type in “Largest US industry” … information, manufacturing of non-durable goods, retail trade, wholesale trade… Nope. No travel and leisure.
If only you had a device like that. And what if it was so amazing you didn’t even have to type. You could just ask your question and it gives you the answer? Hey Siri. What’s the largest industry in the United States? Alexa. Are people worth more than airlines? Cortana. How many zeros in a trillion? Hey Siri. Who is Cortana?
Hey. You know what is bigger than Travel and Leisure? The Arts and Entertainment industry. And they didn’t even crack the point two or even point one. The arts – bigger than the airlines- didn’t even get a billion. Imagine that.
Trump is an idiot. And reporters are letting him get away with it. Enjoy your cheesecake. I mean it. Really.
Margaret and Helen 
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By: Jules bercy on September 9, 2020
at 11:47 AM
To blazes with the Detritus of Hell currently besmirching a national monument out west. Everyone on the porch, bacon lovers and pie eaters, may you have a truly good Independence Day!
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By: mageen in old virginny on July 4, 2020
at 10:41 AM
You just knew this was gonna happen didn’t you! Lifting the lid on COVID-19 has left tRump with only about half of his Secret Service protection. These poor guys and gals have to go with him into unmasked crowds and do 24 hour shifts. When the remainder fall sick, whats he gonna do? Use the Marines as guards? Hey, I know about the halls of Montezuma and all, but number one, is it legal to use the military as a palace guard and would the military have the right to say no? Hope so! We need them to guard our security, not just the hind end of one man!
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By: mageen inold virginny on June 25, 2020
at 7:03 AM
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers….and to the men who made them mothers. Hope you have a pleasant day.
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By: Cynthia on May 10, 2020
at 4:38 PM
It just had to happen again and it was today. ONce again tRump did his little dance of “well, I never knew him very well blah blah blah but Ihear he is a good man”. That would be General Flynn who got caught in not telling hte truth about his connections wth certain governments in this word such as Russia. Flynn pleaded guilty. Now some ambulance chaser insists that hte questions he was asked by hte FBI were irelevant and not to the point of the investigation. Hence,k the questions were dead on arrival. Well, it seems that a judge has to get in the idle of all tis as to whether or not the charges are actually dropped.
Even if this charge was dropped, the FBI already has so uch other evidence of other andmoe wrong-doing that they could plow ahead no matter what. And then there are all the other pepple who were arrested at the same time Flynn was and largely for hte same reason. This is like trying to beat out a forest fire that has taken to the underground roots of a forest. It just keeps poppoing up no matter what!
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By: mageen in old virginny on May 7, 2020
at 2:57 PM
Honestly, I think his comments about disinfectants, uv light just shows how really ignorant this man is. I feel like he has the education of maybe a 4th or 5th grader. Maybe the teachers out there can correct me if they think I’m givibg him to much credit.
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By: Debbie Coulsey on April 25, 2020
at 9:32 AM
Injecting Lysol and ultra violet light rays simply shows how far he has progressed as he breaks down mentally in front of everyone. Doctor Birx had such a look on her face when he brought that up!
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By: mageen in old virginny on April 25, 2020
at 9:11 AM
Thanks Cynthia for your kinds words. Thanks for your support. It is hard not to feel the way we do. My daughter just called me and asked if I heard about the “lights and bleaching experiment” statement from our dear leader and I told her I did not. If true, all I can say is that we really picked a “winner” in this one.
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By: Easier on April 23, 2020
at 8:36 PM
Hello! Easier you are not alone. Many of us are wondering how we came to this point in this country. If we had a confident, qualified leader at the helm steering this country through this storm we might not be so f’in depressed. It is a good thing I live in a corn field. If there were close neighbors I would be in jail for my language.
Mageen thanks for the encouraging words. We will survive.
This is an interesting article – “the effects of news coverage of the novel coronavirus by the two most widely-viewed cable news shows in the United States – Hannity and Tucker Carlson Tonight, both on Fox News – on viewers’ behavior and downstream health outcomes.”
https://bfi.uchicago.edu/working-paper/2020-44/?fbclid=IwAR1aMKZ4odbePtU9IFxB2tboO1y4w7qUZFHUD0Er8Vqfi_iG8dI6JL6jTXk
Peace.
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By: Cynthia on April 21, 2020
at 11:32 AM
Thanks for your optimism Mageen. It is needed. Let us toast to the future of earth. The human race will survive for sure.
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By: Easier on April 19, 2020
at 11:14 PM
Easier, what you are feeling is totally palpable out here on the net. Frankly, this is karma kicking Trump in the pants. His selfishness is getting the best of him, no matter how he tries to play his cards. Unfortunately, there are also other “leaders” who are his “blood” brothers around the world. However, karma does not play favorites. Their names are on the karma list. No, I do not think heaven has it in for us. I think the heavenly host would be fine if we leave them out of this mess. Yes, this human made mess. This sort of thing has happened before. Yet there were enough survivors to stumble on. And there will be survivors from this plague. Right word for this mess. Pandemic makes it sound almost refined. Our ancestors knew what they were talking about when they called it for what it is.
So what do we do now? Us. The “we” that isolates at home. The “we” who has to shop for food, medicine and what ever because there is either no one else to do it or they would rather spare all the others in the house from the possibility of contagion and get that last gallon of milk in the store so the kids could have something to drink and pour on their cereal.
Easier, we simply plod onward. We plod and we silently pray for the grace that will help us keep us plodding. Easy to say and so hard to do? Yes! Simplistically, definitely. My own plodding has opened a crack in the fear to let in a scant memory of a Joyce Kilmer poem written when he was serving in World War I. All I can recall is that he was talking about the burden of the pack on his back and how he could relate that to the burden of the Cross on Someone else’s back. And he kept plodding.
The War ended. Plagues end. This one certainly will. And there will be enough plodding pilgrims left to carry on. Bless you.
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By: mageen in old virginyy on April 19, 2020
at 11:50 AM
Maybe I shouldn’t be thinking this way but I am bu my mood has turned quite dark. Please forgive me all porch dwellers for bringing my dark thoughts here. Is anybody else thinking about the events of the almost past four years and how everything happening in these times are correlated? It feels like heaven is tired of us. I kept thinking why the last election gave us the results we have been grappling with. Maybe the universe wanted somebody at the helm that would assist in wiping us off the face of this earth. The universe wants us gone just like it did the dinosaurs when they overstayed their welcome. Suppose we had somebody at the helm that knew a tad more about how viruses work, and began preparing for the worst from day one, had a pandemic team ready to roll, and took heed of what other countries were doing to successfully counter covid19? Would that have made a difference? Maybe. Instead, we have a surge of the perfect storm with the chicken coming home to roost, with thousands dying needlessly. And now, idiots are being encouraged to go out there and demonstrate in the streets to court the virus. You could have knocked me out with a feather when I saw those protesters on TV. God please help us. We have lost our way.
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By: Easier on April 17, 2020
at 11:37 PM
to heck with the elephant int he room. Happy Easter, pie eaters!
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By: Anonymous on April 12, 2020
at 3:39 PM
The Sunday edition of the Washington Post has put out a full page spread of a pattern and directions for making face masks. My first reaction was, well blow me down! My next thought was of my unused sewing machine. Just wondering if other newspapers were doing the same thing.
Found some old N95 face masks in the basement. they’ve been there for years after spray painting the basement. Not a mark on them but they smell like the basement. Hence my surprise and delight re: the pattern and directions.
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By: mageen in old virginny on April 5, 2020
at 8:46 AM
Margaret and Helen in the White House in 2020.
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By: Anonymous on April 3, 2020
at 1:33 PM
And for God’s sake We Can Make our own Cheese Cake.
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By: Anonymous on April 1, 2020
at 11:25 AM
No. Google somehow has me in its grip now; I don’t know why they’re bugging me. The address is how wintersong comments go to cause they said years ago I couldn’t use pasupathi cause someone already used that.
Sent from my iPhone
>
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By: Alice of wintersong on March 31, 2020
at 9:01 PM
Yes! Kudos to CNN for not covering the White House briefing today until AFTER Trump spoke. Went live only when Dr Birx started speaking.
THIS IS HOW TO DEAL WITH Trump
Thank you CNN!!!
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By: Marcie R. on March 31, 2020
at 4:56 PM
I can’t do much for you but send up a prayer and send you a virtual hug.
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By: Anonymous on March 30, 2020
at 11:22 PM
Margaret and Helen, please stay healthy. We need your sanity and humor more than ever now.
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By: mageen in old virginny on March 30, 2020
at 9:07 PM
As I watched one of the many news conferences I noticed how reporters almost bait the childlike president. It is as if they just want a good lead line instead of an answer. I fear the President is unable to respond in any other way than the head of a business. In business the head of the company is at times a mini god, at least to themselves. And it does not stop with just the head of the company it trickles down to lower level persons like department heads and supervisors. It is easy to get sucked into the all powerful feeling. We just need reporters to ask the right questions, then report.
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By: janicead on March 29, 2020
at 8:04 PM
You are so right about the problems right now and I appreciated your analysis of the $2.2 trillion’s allocation. For more disturbing news about it, Trump apparently in a signing statement said HE will oversee the distribution of the $500 billion money, not a congressionally appointed committee! Not sure why we aren’t getting that in the news. Here’s a story on it: https://truthout.org/articles/trump-announces-plan-to-refuse-congressional-oversight-of-corporate-bailout/?eType=EmailBlastContent&eId=5e383daa-77a3-48e3-a6f5-f82b689f50fc
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By: Gay Kramer-Dodd on March 29, 2020
at 6:40 PM
Fabulous!
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By: Veronica on March 29, 2020
at 4:37 PM
This should be in the NYT
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By: Wesley Sandel on March 29, 2020
at 11:33 AM
[…] I’d give anything to ask Trump this question about cheesecake… #COVIDIOT #ConronaUpdate&… […]
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By: Margaret and Helen: I’d give anything to ask Trump this question about cheesecake… #COVIDIOT #ConronaUpdate #2Trillion | Atheist Militants Rising on March 29, 2020
at 8:23 AM
Thanks Helen! I am so liking it that you are on such a roll! I am in a deep funk like most people in this country at this point in time. Your humor lifts me up. Thank God for you. Seeing him on TV every day adds to my feelings of helplessness. He adds nothing to the discussion really. His boastful personality takes away from everything. No sooner does he start talking about how great things were, I mute. You just get it, that he cares nothing for the suffering people are going through. It is about the stock market and nothing more. No compassion and no feeling that he gets it. These are sad times, so thank God I can come here and feel at home.
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By: Easier on March 28, 2020
at 8:05 PM
This needs to be shareable.
Karen 🐾
>
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By: Karen Smead on March 28, 2020
at 6:35 PM
Just perfect! Your writing is over the top incredible! I hope you keep writing!
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By: Jodi Weiner on March 28, 2020
at 6:03 PM
Betty White has nothing on you!
Go Helen!
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By: Hazel on March 28, 2020
at 5:03 PM
He’s a “short-fingered vulgarian.” That’s my favorite quotation about him, which I think came from the former editor of Vanity Fair. My friend Carol and I have taken our cue from Chrissy Teigen and started calling him the vagasshole.
Love,
Janie Junebug
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By: janiejunebug on March 28, 2020
at 2:45 PM
Spoken as a true communist liberal. Praise Trump our president!
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By: Anonymous on March 28, 2020
at 1:19 PM
Wow, you did it again, you said ( and researched for us ) exactly what we are yelling at our tv’s. Thank you! Now tonight we will get to watch the muffin man looking at the ship. He will probably want pics with the captain and we will all hear how ” amazing and Huge and fast and the Best in the world this ship is ” . Hey, I bet we could be his speech writers…we only need to use about 20 words. It would be the biggest and most amazing speech ever in history.
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By: Debbie Coulsey on March 28, 2020
at 12:33 PM
No the airline and the cruiselines deserve no bail out absolutely none nada nothing. Of course many if not most large corporation should not either. The airlines have been srewing around with their passengers health long enough. Their CEOs make a bucket load of money or Dudu load however you wanna put it. Billions of dollars of dividends paid out ,stolen by putting passengers in baby-seats on planes with toilets the size of a refrigerator a small one at that.
Fining travel agents ( remember us?)for just the slightest infraction. -remember we’re supposed to be their partners ,that’s a laugh. And cruises lines should have never been allowed to build these mega liners with often 3500 -5000 people on the board. No bail out
And finally some one please shout at one of these shit briefings from the WH “ I Quit all media peopel just walk out. Is there any spine left???
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By: EnmaLina Graf on March 28, 2020
at 12:20 PM
you didn’t mention the 450 billion that trump and the munchkin have sole control over…they can do what they want with it and hide the receipts for six months. that’s like giving a criminal carte blanche on that much money? give me a break [ correct me if i’m wrong ] the dems didn’t even mention that?
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By: del holt on March 28, 2020
at 12:18 PM
Once again, you give voice to sanity when I’m feeling like I must have fallen into the twilight zone. Thank you.
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By: Jennifer Nelson on March 28, 2020
at 12:18 PM
It’s always a pleasure to read your commentaries! I only wish they were more frequent….KEEP UP THE OUTSTANDING WORK! We need to be heard!
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By: Tim on March 28, 2020
at 12:03 PM
Thanks for doing the math! Something I’ve always hated and now trump even more! You gals rock! Keep telling it like it is!
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By: Carolyn Helbert on March 28, 2020
at 12:00 PM
I really admire you gals – you have the moxie to tell it like it is and that makes us think. Thank you for the continuing reality check.
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By: Linda on March 28, 2020
at 11:45 AM
I was born and raised n Michigan and then moved away. My sister and as major part of the family is still there. I was on the phone just a few minutes ago with my sister and found that tRump has lost Michigan in 2020. The present Governor Gretchen Whitmer, doesn’t care if tRump dislikes her. she will still carry on working to protect Michiganders. Medical supply companies must think trump is nuts. He does not have any legal sway over them. they can continue to do business with Michigan. As for being told not to do business with someone because they were not nice to El Presidente, that is unconstitutional. Its called restraint of trade. Business owners can sue on those grounds.
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By: mgeen in old virginny on March 28, 2020
at 11:14 AM
Mindy – I hear ya. I think maybe you missed my sarcasm when I pointed out 99,000 has three zeros. But I’m sure there are a great many people who will still envy your home in a very good school district. Hang in there.
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By: Helen Philpot on March 28, 2020
at 11:07 AM
As my daddy used to tell me about people whose mendacity bubbled over, “he’s a liar, and the truth ain’t in him.”
I’m thinking it never will be. I call him Agent Orange for obvious reasons.
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By: Sheila Morris on March 28, 2020
at 10:45 AM
So happy I happened onto your blog. Insightful and humorous to boot…just what the Dr. ordered. Keep safe and healthy.
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By: Jan Daugharty on March 28, 2020
at 10:17 AM
I love your blog. I’m impressed with your mathematical skills.
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By: Patricia on March 28, 2020
at 10:14 AM
Sending love to you both.
Stay safe.
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By: KB on March 28, 2020
at 9:37 AM
Love this!! ♥️😂
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By: Allison Ernsberger on March 28, 2020
at 9:28 AM
Love this!! ♥️😂
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By: Allison Ernsberger on March 28, 2020
at 9:28 AM
Thank you, Helen! Be well and keep blogging!
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By: robertastew on March 28, 2020
at 9:16 AM
Enjoy!
>
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By: Deborah M Cook on March 28, 2020
at 9:04 AM
I think Helen should get White House press corps credentials!
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By: Frank V Moore on March 28, 2020
at 9:01 AM
Helen, I love your writings!
I couldn’t agree more about Arts and Entertainment. I’ve seen some criticism of some of the bailout going to the Kennedy Center. Aren’t they also an industry? I’m so sick of bailing out these same industries and then they are the first ones with their hand out the next time. Save some damn money for a rainy day like you tell the average Jane! Rock on, Helen.
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By: Mary Jo Forte on March 28, 2020
at 9:00 AM
[…] I’d give anything to ask Trump this question about cheesecake… #COVIDIOT #ConronaUpdate #2Trilli… […]
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By: Margaret and Helen – IMPERFECT PATIENCE on March 28, 2020
at 8:56 AM
#I❤MargaretAndHelen #MargaretAndHelenBestTalkShowHost #JustPlainCommonSense
Thank you Margaret and Helen The world needs you on TV, Radio and Billboards EVERYWHERE
Blessings to you both Anita Marie Smith
On Sat, Mar 28, 2020, 5:56 AM Margaret and Helen wrote:
> Helen Philpot posted: “Margaret, they passed a $2.2 trillion dollar > stimulus package. For years we’ve complained about failing schools, > homelessness, hunger, affordable healthcare, clean water, clean air… Who > knew that the real problem was the Cheesecake Factory not able to p” >
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By: playsba on March 28, 2020
at 8:51 AM
My sentiments exactly. Trump should be praising the press, they got him elected. They never took his campaign seriously, never called him on his lies. And here we are facing the worse crisis in recent history and we have the most idiotic, incompetent fool in the Oval Office and the press is still not asking him tough questions. We need to see more horrific pictures of emergency rooms and ask all that orange SOB’s supporters if this is what they signed on for when they voted for this moron. Make America Great again and send this narcissistic idiot packing in November along with any republican senator and congressman who’s up for re-election.
If you want to see a picture of a great American just look into the face of a doctor, nurse, EMT, grocery clerk and any other great American who is on the job helping all of us get through this crisis. Say thank you to them. To Trump say “thanks for nothing.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
By: Annie in Maine on March 28, 2020
at 8:34 AM
Thanks! You always me smile … right before you make my blood boil. Actually, it was bubbling a bit before you turned up the heat. Stay well … we need your always right on take on life in the crazy lane.
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By: jwycoff45 on March 28, 2020
at 8:26 AM
Hi Helen, Hope you are well. I live your columns and have for so many years and can’t recall ever having disagreed with you but I have to jump in on this one
Making over $99,999 is not anywhere close to wealthy in 2020 nor has it been for a long time in many, many parts of the country.
I won’t go deeply into my family’s finances but will tell you this. We live in the Metro NY area, yes the epicenter county. My husband makes over $100k although not by a lot.
I have been unemployed for almost 10 months. My benefits ran out back in November. I am trying to start my own pr/marketing firm because at 57 years of age no one seems to want to hire me. I was hired to work the census which is on hold.
Our 1,700 sq ft, 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath house in a very good school district cost us $720,000. Our annual property taxes are $18,000 – yes per year. Our mortgage with escrowed taxes is $4,300 a month.
Our one child is a sophomore in college at UMichigan. She is very bright and that high end public school district certainly helped. We don’t qualify for financial aid because we make too much. Tuition room and board is $65,000 a year.
Please do the math. We are not rich and yet we dont even get the $2,400. My unemployment benefits ran out before this and technically I am still employed by the census so I don’t get those or the $600 a week additional which would certainly go a long way.
So please, in the future, think twice before you decide someone is rich because they make a six figure salary. Aix figures is solidly middle class in te NY/NJ/CT metro, in the Boston, Chicago, Northern and Southern CA metros, in Chapel Hill NC, in Miami and ao many others. Where jobs pay more, regular life costs more.
So, we are not rich, I am unemployed, our taxes and the taxes on our daughter’s future earnings are paying for this and we qualify to personally benefit from none of it and we are not even close to rich.
Keep doing what you are doing and I will keep reading and sharing. Stay safe and healthy.
With love, Mindy
Sent from my iPhone. Please excuse any typos.
>
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By: mindygibson on March 28, 2020
at 8:22 AM