Margaret, I remember what it was like to be Mrs. Harold Philpot rather than Helen Philpot. In fact, I still sign my checks that way. Mrs. Harold Philpot. Despite what people like Rush Limbaugh will tell you, it wasn’t about not wearing a bra and being a slut. It was about being equal to a man in every aspect. We didn’t fight for women’s rights because we hated men. In fact, there were many, many honest and noble men who joined our fight. That’s why I married Harold and was happy to be Mrs. Harold Philpot. We saw the world in a similar way, him and me. And when we didn’t, we found a way to agree to disagree. We had different beliefs about some big things, and there were even times when we went into the voting booth and pulled different levers. But we still found a way to coexist. Harold was a good man. Except when it came to football. Then he could be a real horse’s ass.
And speaking of a horse’s ass, Romney picked a Vice-Presidential nominee. They say Romney needed to pick a conservative like Paul Ryan to distinguish himself from Obama. I’m not sure why. Romney and Obama look nothing alike. I mean they look nothing alike on paper. Obama campaigned on universal healthcare and then delivered universal healthcare. Romney hates government controlled healthcare. Obama was pro-choice and then he became President and was still pro-choice. Romney is pro-running for President. That Obama even ran as a black man and wouldn’t you know it – he’s still a black man. Romney is a white guy. Which is probably why so many people in the Tea Party are so excited about the Romney/Ryan ticket – neither are black.
I’m sorry, Margaret. That was low… even for me. Obama’s color has nothing to do with it. He’s black. So what. In contrast to Obama, Romney is a man of many colors.
Nope. He’s just a white guy.
What I meant to say is that Romney is white but he has a coat of many colors. No, that’s not right either. That was Donny Osmond. Margaret, what is that expression about a horse of many colors? You know. The one that means you can’t trust Romney any farther than you can throw him?
I can’t think of the expression right now, but what I am trying to say is that you can’t throw Romney very far. He’s too rooted to his principles and an unwavering commitment to his beliefs. Like the way he was pro-choice and now is not because it would prevent him from being a Republican president. And how he believed that government-controlled healthcare was needed and now it isn’t because it would prevent him from being a Republican president. And how he was proud of his record at Bain Capital but only the good stuff. If anything bad happened it was on a day when he called in sick…
Two faced! That’s what I meant to say. It had nothing to do with the color of his face or his coat at all. And I am not even sure why I was thinking about a horse.
When you have as many faces as Mitt Romney, you can understand why he might pick somebody as truly unwavering as Ryan. I mean this guy is solid. Abortion? No way. Throw that woman in jail. In cases of rape? Who cares. Incest? Doesn’t matter. Mother’s life in jeopardy? Screw the mother. The Catholic Church says no, so Ryan says no. And then there’s that age-old Catholic stance on screwing the poor… oops. I guess his convictions to his belief system only go so far considering 62% of the cuts in his budget plan are for programs for the poor. When that child comes into the world be sure and take away healthcare, food, early childhood education. Anything that costs money. That’s not in the budget. Just get that baby here and forget about it. A man of principle with an unwavering commitment to the Catholic Church… I mean his beliefs… I mean the spreadsheet. Now I know why I was thinking about a horse. Paul Ryan is a horse’s ass.
If you are a woman under the age of 39, you might want to trust me on this one. Never vote for a horse’s ass. I mean it. Really.
If I recall, Helen, you were under the age of 39 for about 59 years. Howard says that the expression about a horse changing its colors is a racing term and you should just stick to what you know. I’m not sure about this Ryan fellow, but Howard sure likes him. Of course, Howard’s a numbers guy too. The last thing I need is another budget in my life. I haven’t had a new coat in 40 years much less a coat of many colors.
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