Posted by: Helen Philpot | December 16, 2011

Jesus is the reason for the season…

Margaret, I was going to send you a Happy Holiday wish, but then I watched that debate out of Iowa.  It just took the Merry out of my Christmas.   The Republican Party has more hate and ignorance in its Primary than the entire line-up of Real Housewives of Pick Any City on Bravo.  Let me just go down the line-up for you…

Michele Bachman is crazy.  Just ask the voices in her head.  But you’ve got to give her credit for trying.  No money.  No staff.   No clue.  And yet she’s still out there plugging away.  Bless her heart.

And then there’s that guy from Oz… I mean Texas.    No brains.  No heart.  No Friends of Dorothy.    Rick Perry hates gays.  Just ask him.  He likes Tim Tebow a little too much for my comfort, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a Sunday morning quarterback kind of thing.  You’ve got to give him credit too, however.  He’s trying.    There’s something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but Perry can’t seem to get above ten percent in the polls with all those God-fearing, good Republicans out there in Iowa.

Which brings us to that pizza guy.  When everyone went soft on Perry, it looked like Herman Cain would rise like pizza dough to the occasion – something that tends to get him in trouble..   Now that Herman has what we used to call the wandering eye – and not the kind that can be corrected with glasses. He’s got the kind that eventually catches up to you when you run for political office.  (But speaking of glasses, I really liked the pair Barbara was wearing on her 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011. Of course when Donald Trump glowed on, I thought maybe it was a rerun from 1984. But that’s another story for another time.)  Herman Cain was on the show and that’s who I want to talk about. Before he sang Barbara a little song, ole’ Herman told her he couldn’t prove it, but he was pretty sure he was attacked by the media because he was a black Republican. Well, he’s half right. Republicans don’t really like blacks. In fact that political party is about as diverse and tolerant as an audience at a Celtic Women’s concert.  But again that’s another story.   As a Black Republican, Cain’s pizza was never getting out of the box.  But the media didn’t report on that.  What they did report on was the other problem with Cain – the one that had nothing to do with the color of his skin.   It had to do with how his pepperoni kept landing in places it didn’t belong. Honestly though, with as much time as the Republican party tries to get involved with a woman’s uterus, you have to wonder why a little touchy-feely is so offensive to them.  But about that black thing.   I can’t figure it out either.

So Cain got ousted and in walked Newton, the whitest and meanest politician north, south, east and west of the Pecos.  I hear he shoots his ex-wives when they get out of line or go into the hospital for cancer treatment.  But again, another story for another time.  Newton Leroy Gingrich grew up Lutheran became a Southern Baptist, and eventually converted to Catholicism.  Now that’s a whole lot of religion packed into one person.   No wonder the Republicans like him so much.  But Newt is exactly what those Tea Party Republicans say they don’t want – a fat cat politician.  The only people who made more money screwing the government than Newt were Goldman and his son-in-law Sachs – two Jews.  Go figure.   Newt doesn’t want to be President.  He wants to sell books and give speeches.   Honestly. Can we just move on? Republicans can’t elect Newt because they can’t raise taxes enough to afford his salary.

And so you have Willard Mitt Romney.  Both of them.  The Republicans really, really, really want to vote for the Romney who is tough on immigration, against abortion and can’t stand Obamacare.   Unfortunately they have an issue voting for the Romney who is soft on immigration, votes pro-choice and believes in universal healthcare.   And we can’t forget about that Mormon thing.   Is he a Christian or isn’t he?  Maybe one is and one isn’t.  Maybe he could borrow one of Newt’s religions.

But thank goodness there’s always Jon Huntsman.  He’s still in it, right?  Someone should research that.  Is he still in it?   Oh, but wait.  Huntsman is a Mormon too.  Darn those religious prerequisites.  Thank goodness Newt still has one religion to spare.

So really that just leaves us with Rick Santorum and Ron Paul.   One is fascinated with a dog having sex with a man and the other looks like a dog had sex with a man.  You know.  I really don’t have a problem with that.

Shame on me.   That was cruel.   A woman with an ass as fat as mine, shouldn’t be making fun of the way people look.  Mr. Paul, I’m sorry.  I went for a laugh and that was wrong of me.  In truth, you’re the guy who scares me the least.  Probably because you have no chance of winning and you’re the candidate most likely to run as a third-party candidate if you don’t win the GOP nomination.  That could be detrimental to the likely Republican nominee if you pull too much support from Republican voters who can’t decide between Willard Mitt Romney or Willard Mormon Romney.

I guess it’s  Merry Christmas after all, Margaret.   And a Happy New Year.   Thanks for stopping by.

And welcome home to our returning troops.   We’re proud of you.   I mean it really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2011

Dear Family,

We lost your Grandpa this year and suddenly everyone wants to be together for the holidays.   Well isn’t that just the shit.   I hope you all learned your lesson.  Treasure your family while they are still here – not after they are gone.  Life is a series of lessons.  Pay attention.

Now about Thanksgiving… Your Aunt Trudy thinks that just because Thanksgiving dinner is at her house this year, I am not in charge.  Well bless her heart.  Here are the rules:

  1. This year Cloe’s jello crap is fine by me.  Trudy’s gravy is always a little thin for my taste.  A little jello might thicken it up a bit.
  2. I respect the cook, but 99% of us respect good food even more. I reserve the right to occupy the kitchen and add an extra stick or two of butter to any dish that doesn’t meet with my satisfaction. And for the record,  pepper spray belongs in the kitchen not on college campuses.
  3. I respect the debate, but I reserve the right to grab a bar of soap if I hear  Bill O’Reilly nonsense coming out of your mouth.
  4. You can never have enough paprika in the kitchen.
  5. Mary and Rhonda, feel free to bring the children and the pets.  Harvey hasn’t let Trudy buy new furniture since 1978.  No one will notice an extra stain or two.
  6. Trudy – if I have told you once, I have told you a hundred times – add the bacon and the grease.  Everything tastes better cooked in bacon grease.
  7. Jonathan.  Your Republicans have made fools enough of themselves already.  Don’t add to the idiot parade by claiming you have liked Newt all along.  You liked Michele until Perry came along.  You liked Perry until he said oops.   And you liked Cain until he groped your wife.   It’s just a matter of time until Newt steps in it too.  For goodness sakes, his shoes still stink from the last time he ran.   Like it or not honey, Romney is taking you to the Prom.
  8. Nobody does deviled eggs correctly.  You have to use vinegar.
  9. Nobody does Republican presidential debates correctly.  You have to use your brain.
  10. Marshall.  Your children can’t sing.  There I said it and I am not taking it back.
  11. Bacon.   Trudy, you just have to trust me on this.  Bacon.

Your Grandpa Harold knew you loved him.   Let’s just be thankful we had him as long as we did.  Happy Thanksgiving.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | August 31, 2011

Who has the better bouffant?

Margaret, what kind of moron thinks that God destroys entire towns and kills people with a hurricane because politicians in Washington are being disagreeable? What kind of moron? The kind with the bouffant hairdo and a Minnesota accent. Honestly, if God worked that way, Irene would have headed inland towards Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District.

And speaking of bouffants, did anyone catch Rick Perry discussing abstinence? Evidently it works for him personally. I bet Anita is relieved. But I call bullshit. You don’t go to Texas A&M and make mediocre grades unless you’re spending too much time in the girl’s dormitory… or in Perry’s case the large animal vet school. I bet the cows have an opinion about Perry’s abstinence. And considering how easily he switched from Democrat to Republican, somebody might want to speak to a few of the bulls too. 

I just don’t understand how so many stupid things can come out of their mouths considering how often they claim to be speaking for the Lord. Maybe each one needs to see a doctor about the voices in their head. I mean honestly, Margaret, these two manage to speak out of their mouths – both sides – and their ass without taking a breath… or a shit. Now see if you can follow the bouncing jackass:

  • Rick Perry wants Texas to secede because Washington has gotten too big.
  • Rick Perry takes $17 Billion in federal stimulus dollars.
  • Rick Perry uses those dollars to generate a whole bunch of new government jobs in Texas.
  • Rick Perry celebrates the state’s job growth in hopes that we’ll send him to Washington.

If he makes it to the White House, I’ll be the first to pick up where he left off in the Texas secession campaign.

And then there’s Michele, who doesn’t have the common sense God gave a goose.  A couple of year’s ago, she decided that God’s green earth doesn’t need to stay green when she told folks, “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” Maybe she inhaled a little too much of that hairspray that keeps her hair so high.

Good Lord. This is the best the Republican Party has to offer? I think Texas has had it’s fair share of Presidents and Minnesota needs to just be satisfied with its largest ball of twine. I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | August 1, 2011

You Get What You Vote For

Margaret, religion and politics are suffering from the same thing – Certainty.

Neither should have any and yet if you listen to the yahoos in the Tea Party you’ll quickly learn that they are full of certainty. Full of shit is more like it.

Religion is simply a matter of faith. Nothing more. You believe even without certainty. Therein lies the true beauty of religion.

And politics requires compromise. A politician acting with certainty is a politician representing a constituency of one. Once you have two or more, compromise must eventually come into play.

Michele Bachmann can keep on talking to God. Rick Perry can get down on his knees. Neither will make a difference because neither knows anything about faith or compromise. And they sure as hell don’t know a damn thing about the constitution.

Those fools can keep on mixing politics with religion. I’ll stick to mixing gin with tonic. Ten bucks says my way is better.

You get what you vote for. I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | July 26, 2011

Peace and Quiet for Michele Bachmann

Margaret, it was hard but it’s done. We lived in that house for 47 years. But change is good. A new adventure, Margaret, a new adventure… Besides I was bordering on being one of those hoarders and this move required my getting rid of a load of shit.

And speaking of a load of shit, I’ve been meaning to tell you that Rick Perry’s day of prayer is really just a healing circle for Michele Bachmann. You see if Jesus is busy answering all of our prayers, he won’t have time to speak to Michele. Those migraines should be gone in no time with one less voice in her head. In that vacuum the echo must have been deafening.

One last thing before I go. Was it my imagination or did that orange fellow who speaks for the house just pee all over my television set last night? Men and their pissing matches… what a bore.

Well, new city and a new house. Life goes on. Change is good. I promise to write more often. I mean it. Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | May 3, 2011

72 Virgins Just Changed the Channel

Margaret, I wish Harold could have lived to see this day.  As a veteran, he was always hopeful that we would one day get Bin Laden.  He would have been very proud and then he would have been pissed.

Had I not seen it with my own eyes, I would have never believed it.  FOX found a way to turn even this into a negative for Obama.  I tuned in after you called and watched Sean Hannity make a fool of himself like you were saying.  Honestly, that is exactly what I would have expected from FOX – complaining because the US military took the time to follow Muslim traditions before eventually ditching the son-of-a-bitch at sea.   Sean, of course, wanted something a bit more flashy.  Had we done it Hannity’s way, the body would have been photographed wearing Princess Beatrice’s hat.  Honestly FOX, why don’t we just  hang him on a cross and see if his followers retaliate?  Sean is an idiot.

Of course Greta and Glenn were vying for stupidest person on FOX as well, but a race to the bottom on that network is over before it begins.  Was I the only one who noticed all three of them kept accidentally saying Obama rather than Usama? I bet not.  But I bet I am the only one who points it out.

It’s called honor Mr. Hannity, Mr. Beck and Mr. Van Susteren… you jackasses.  Obama understands it.  The US military has it.   FOX needs it. It makes us better than them.  But I guess the morons over at FOX are more worried that 72 Virgins really were waiting for him.  And yes, I know I typed Mister Van Susteren… plastic surgery can only get you so far.

Ten years were a long time to wait for the end of Bin Laden.  I ask you, how long before we see an end to FOX?

Change the channel America.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | January 25, 2011

Sometimes men should just stick to football… but I digress

Margaret, I read the comment you sent me and felt compelled to respond.  I know you don’t like it when I do, but honey you know how I feel about this particular subject.

Dear Readers,

In case you are new to my web page blog, I’ll give you a little background.  I told my friend Margaret that I thought Sarah Palin was a bitch… is a bitch.  Anyway, my grandson really hadn’t fully explained to me that other people could see this page besides Margaret. Which is kind of funny because Margaret actually has to have her husband, Howard, print the pages out for her to read because she doesn’t like computers very much….

But I digress.

So I kept writing about things and more people kept stopping by. Just yesterday I was telling Margaret that I find it very odd that Republicans think government is too big and healthcare for all Americans is just insane.  It doesn’t seem to matter that it would cost less than Bush’s wars… but that would just be unAmerican of me to suggest…afterall Sarah Palin’s son is in that war…

Again, I digress.

 I find it odd because I know that Rick Perry, the Governor of my state, is really upset about how big government has gotten.  Evidently it’s not big enough, however, because ‘ole Ricky seems to think its small enough to crawl up my vagina with a sonogram machine and a recorder so that Ricky can tell me how to think based on what God whispers in his ear when no one else is around.  To be truthful, it could just be something he picked up in church.  I’m not sure.  It might have happened at his office.  It’s really hard to tell the difference between his office and his church these days.

I just can’t seem to stay on subject today…

So that is what I was writing about to my friend Margaret.  And then she had Howard print out my letter and some of your comments.   Sometimes – like last night - she calls me because she gets so worried when one of you gets a little upset.  But I tell her, “Margaret, dear. It’s just the internet.  It’s not like anyone forces them to read it.”  But Margaret worries.  She just wants everyone to get along.  You know.  Agree to disagree and things like that.  Which would be nice except that Governor Ricky wants to pass some new laws.  And once that happens you can’t just agree to disagree.  Once it becomes law if you disagree you have to spend a lot of money with lawyers or go to jail.

But I digress.

So last night some fool  (sorry Margaret) named Noah decided to call you all sheep because you seemed to like what I had written about Ricky.  I wasn’t aware sheep could read, and I have always thought that too often used insult about following like sheep is a bit far-reaching.  Yes.  Survival instincts in sheep tend to mean that one sheep will more than likely follow the sheep in front.  Did you know, however, there is a certain strain of sheep in Iceland known as leadersheep?  Leadersheep are highly intelligent animals that have the instinct to lead a flock home during dangerous and difficult conditions. They have an exceptional ability to sense danger. There are many stories in Iceland of leadersheep saving lives during the fall roundups when blizzards threatened shepherds and flocks alike…

But I digress.

Among other things, Noah decided to leave a little pearl of personal wisdom in his not so well thought out diatribe:

__________

With my wife being almost 7 months pregnant this subject really touches home for me so I can understand the passionate feelings from both sides of the issue. Having gone to the first ultrasound I could never have made a choice to abort the child for any reason. I can understand why the governor wants to have women have that firsthand experience of hearing that heartbeat, it is very powerful. I guess I don’t see a problem if what he is suggesting isn’t stopping all abortions, which he is not and I would be opposed to if he was.

__________

Well isn’t that just precious?  Noah is particularly knowledgeable about this subject because his wife is 7 months pregnant.  Congratulations Noah.  I know my readers will join me in wishing you and your family all the best.  You’re almost there: two more months to go.

I assume your wife had her amniotic fluid test and that everything turned out fine?  It’s a scary time those first few months.  Did you know that if you and your wife learned through the amniocentesis that something had gone terribly wrong with the developing fetus that one of your options might be to terminate the pregnancy?  Sometimes the abnormality of the fetus is significant.  Survival of both the fetus and the mother can be called into question.  [By the way.  I am using the word fetus not to dehumanize but rather because that is what it is called - a fetus] Often women facing this type of heartbreak consult with their doctors, their family members and even their pastor.  I am sure more than a few say a prayer and ask for wisdom.  Did you know, Noah, that if your wife was in that situation and she decided to terminate her pregnancy good ‘ole Rick Perry would still force her to look at a sonogram and listen to a heartbeat so that she can agonize further that the child she wanted so desperately isn’t to be.  I wonder how comforting you would be to her at that moment.  “Look, honey.   I can understand why the governor wants to have women have that firsthand experience of hearing that heartbeat, it is very powerful.”  Thank goodness that you and your wife are not dealing with that.

And I assume, of course, that the child due to arrive in two months is your child?  How blessed for you and your family.  Did you know that if your wife had been raped and subsequently discovered that she was pregnant,  she may not even want to consult with her family, her priest or even her God.  She may want nothing more than to simply ask her doctor to end the unwanted pregnancy so that maybe she can begin to heal from this traumatic experience.  Thank goodness that isn’t your situation Noah.  Can you imagine how horrible it would for a women like your wife in this moment of sadness, anger, disbelief, denial to have Rick Perry then force her to reconsider by showing her a sonogram and letting her listen to a heartbeat.  She’ll have to sign a paper declaring that she watched and listened and still decided to terminate the pregnancy. 

Even worse, Noah.  Imagine if that woman was your daughter.  Do you know the sex of your child yet?  What a world she will get to grow up in.  So very different from your childhood or even mine.  You were there at the invention of the internet.  I was there at the invention of the television.  I also grew up in a world where abortions were illegal Noah.  I watched women die because they had no choices.  You realize that Rick Perry wants that world back, right?  This nonsense about abortions should only be legal in the case of rape or the life of the mother… what a crock.  The world is never so black and white.

But that is not for you Noah.  No. This is a time of great joy and celebration for you and your wife.  Thank goodness.  Some women struggle with the idea of motherhood.  They know deep down inside that bringing a life into this world is a blessing yes - but  also an enormous responsibility and for some the ultimate sacrifice.  To know that another life will depend entirely on your ability to find it within yourself to love so selflessly and care so deeply.  To give birth is not to be taken lightly, Noah.  Some women, after very serious consideration about where they are in life and what they can and can’t offer to a child, decide that they are just not prepared to bring another life into the world.  And after much thought and prayer and probably tears, they still have  Rick Perry there to given them even more to consider.  Thank goodness for thoughtful ‘ole Ricky.

But not you Noah.  Thank goodness you and your wife have made the decision that this is a wanted child… that this will be a loved child… that you have the means to feed and care for this child.   I am sure Rick Perry will be sending you a bouquet of flowers after the delivery to show you how much he cares about the very personal decision you have made.  I hear that just the other day, Rick sent a letter of congratulations to the woman who just delivered her 5th child because her husband feels that using condoms are a sin.  Good ‘ole Rick.  I think his letter said something along the lines of don’t worry about where you will get the money to feed the child because you chose life and that is all that matters.  Good ‘ole Ricky even sent her one of those lovely Choose Life license plates.  She doesn’t own a car, but it’s the thought that counts.

Noah dear.  Stick to football.  And Mrs. Noah?  Slap him for me.   He really should spend more time tending to you rather than writing to me.  But I digress.   I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | January 24, 2011

Make a donation to Planned Parenthood

I told you, Margaret.  It’s only just beginning.

Texas Governor Rick Perry said he will introduce emergency legislation requiring women seeking abortions to first get a sonogram of the fetus and listen to a recording of the heartbeat. 

Why?  Well when someone has all the information, according to Perry, “the right choice will be made — the choice for life.”

I find it funny how  universal healthcare is big government gone bad, but somehow the government crawling up my uterus and telling me what choice to make isn’t.  Odd how giving patients information about end of life options is a “death squad for Grandma” but sonograms before abortions are simply souvenirs for the family photo album.

Rick Perry is a jackass.  Period.

Did it ever occur to you Governor Jackass that some of those women who you plan to force to have a sonogram and listen for a heartbeat are young girls who have been abused… young women who are devastated that a wanted pregnancy has gone bad…  poor women who just can’t afford to feed another mouth… scared women who have been raped… and even regular ‘ole women who made peace with their God and don’t need to hear from yours?

Governor, please take your big hair to church as often as you like.  Get down on your knees and pray to your God everyday.  Join the choir and sing his praises until the cows come home.   Get it all out of your system so that when you walk into that Capitol building you are a little less inclined to blur the line between religion and politics and force your narrow-minded, black and white version of right and wrong on millions of people who just maybe – maybe - don’t agree with you and your backward ass group of right-wing zealots.

2,700,000 Texans voted for you.  2,100,000 Texans voted for the other guy.    So many important problems to be solved and you decide to divide us even deeper.

Jackass. 

Tomorrow I will make a donation to Planned Parenthood.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Letter to the Family 2010

Dear Family,

In a year when we almost lost your Grandpa Harold, I would expect each and every one of you to make the effort to be here this year.  If only for a few minutes.  I’ll make an exception for anyone who lives more than three hours away.  Now that is what I expect, but clearly not what I will get.  So be warned.  At Christmas time what you expect to find under the tree is clearly not what you will get.  I love you.  Really I do.  I don’t expect you to visit often, but I do expect the holidays.  And I don’t think that is too much to expect.

For those of you who are coming – from this point forward known as my favorite family members – here are the house rules.  Your following them will make for an unforgettable meal filled with laughter and bacon.

  1. If it jiggles, slap a girdle on it or leave it at home.  I am not kidding Cloe.  One step inside my door with anything made from Jello and it will be your last step.  I have about 50 pounds on you so don’t test me.
  2. Rhonda.  My house.  Your pets.  Never the twain shall meet.
  3. Mary.  My sofa.  Your kid’s feet.  Never the twain shall meet.
  4. I have banned cans of soda.  Two liter bottles of soda only.  I am tired of throwing away half full cans of soda.  If you are two young to lift a 2 liter bottle of soda to fill a glass, you are too young to be drinking soda un-supervised.
  5. At age 84 and 11 months, I have had my picture taken more than enough times to fill any memory photo album.  The digital era has made it too easy to take way too many useless pictures.  Point one camera in my direction this year and I can promise you that your camera will be used to stuff something other than the turkey.  When I am gone, feel free to remember me with pictures from my best year – 1962.
  6.  Texting and driving is just plain stupid.  Texting and eating Thanksgiving dinner, however, is a crime punishable by no dessert.
  7. Vegetarians really should consider Thanksgiving as a holiday from vegetarianism.
  8. Any grandchild showing up dressed like a Palin girl, will leave the house dressed like a Philpot girl.  I don’t need to see all that and neither does the rest of the family.
  9. The Longhorns are having a difficult year.  Your grandfather is aware of that.  No need to remind him.  Trust me on this one.
  10. My Democrats are having a difficult year.  I am aware of that.  Feel free to remind me and I will, in turn, remind you of what I think of the current Republican Party.  Trust me on this one.
  11. Sarah Palin having a new book is proof positive that there is something wrong with the world.  I can’t fix that, but I promise that my stuffing made with bacon will make you not give a damn.  So if any of you get the urge to talk about that woman, stuff your mouth full of food until the urge passes.

This year, I am thankful for my family and for borrowed time.   Make the most of what life gives you.  I mean it.  Really.

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Posted by: Helen Philpot | November 18, 2010

Palin’s Denial Park

Yes Margaret.  I admit it.  I watched it and very much regret it.  Never before have I wished so hard that a “crevasse” would open up and swallow a  person whole.   If you ask me, the “crack” Sarah Palin should be worried about isn’t on Mount McKinley in Denali National Park.  It’s the butt crack hanging out of her teenager’s short-shorts in Palin’s Denial Park.  My goodness but those Palin girls can’t wait to test the limits of that abstinence only education to which their momma gives so much lip service.

And poor Alaska.   To have that as your spokesmodel.  You clearly drew the short end of the stick on that one.  I ask you, is the show about Alaska or about how Alaska can be used as a platform for Sarah Palin’s political aspirations? Here’s a little fact you won’t find on Sarah Palin’s Alaska:   Alaska led the way in teen pregnancies with an increase of 19% last year. 

The show starts off with Palin telling us that she loves Alaska as much as she loves her family.  Which means if there’s enough money in it, she’ll quit her family too.  But seeing how she’s pimped out Bristol to ABC’s Dancing With a Teenage Mom, and now she’s pimping out the youngest one to TLC’s  Sarah Palin’s Grizzlies Gone Bad, I think the family is still paying off enough to keep Sarah coming home at the end of the book tours.  

But I don’t want to talk about Sarah anymore.  Instead I want to respond to some moron’s comment on this webpage blog about all those Americans sitting around enjoying their lavish unemployment benefits instead of looking for jobs.

Here are the facts.  You remember facts, don’t you?  Or has Fox News permanently deleted those in your world?   Those lavish benefit checks on average are about $375 per week or about $1,600 per month.  Only about 37 percent of unemployed workers actually collect unemployment benefits, and the unemployed workers who are not collecting benefits find a job, on average, only about one week earlier than unemployed workers who are collecting benefits.

So here is what I say.  Rather than worrying about that extra week at the government spa or the occasional moron who is – wrongfully – gaming the system for $300 a week, how about being grateful for everything you have in your life?  Beating people while they are down just seems so unChristian to me.  How about you, Margaret?

If you want to beat someone down, beat down all those Republican politicians screaming about lazy unemployed Americans who are staying home collecting those enormous unemployment checks. And beat down Fox News for deciding to make factual reporting extinct. And beat down Sarah Palin just because.  I mean it . Really.

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