Margaret and Helen

Margaret, what kind of moron thinks that God destroys entire towns and kills people with a hurricane because politicians in Washington are being disagreeable? What kind of moron? The kind with the bouffant hairdo and a Minnesota accent. Honestly, if God worked that way, Irene would have headed inland towards Minnesota’s 6th Congressional District.

And speaking of bouffants, did anyone catch Rick Perry discussing abstinence? Evidently it works for him personally. I bet Anita is relieved. But I call bullshit. You don’t go to Texas A&M and make mediocre grades unless you’re spending too much time in the girl’s dormitory… or in Perry’s case the large animal vet school. I bet the cows have an opinion about Perry’s abstinence. And considering how easily he switched from Democrat to Republican, somebody might want to speak to a few of the bulls too. 

I just don’t understand how so many stupid things can come out of their mouths considering how often they claim to be speaking for the Lord. Maybe each one needs to see a doctor about the voices in their head. I mean honestly, Margaret, these two manage to speak out of their mouths – both sides – and their ass without taking a breath… or a shit. Now see if you can follow the bouncing jackass:

• Rick Perry wants Texas to secede because Washington has gotten too big.
• Rick Perry takes $17 Billion in federal stimulus dollars.
• Rick Perry uses those dollars to generate a whole bunch of new government jobs in Texas.
• Rick Perry celebrates the state’s job growth in hopes that we’ll send him to Washington.

If he makes it to the White House, I’ll be the first to pick up where he left off in the Texas secession campaign.

And then there’s Michele, who doesn’t have the common sense God gave a goose.  A couple of year’s ago, she decided that God’s green earth doesn’t need to stay green when she told folks, “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.” Maybe she inhaled a little too much of that hairspray that keeps her hair so high.

Good Lord. This is the best the Republican Party has to offer? I think Texas has had it’s fair share of Presidents and Minnesota needs to just be satisfied with its largest ball of twine. I mean it. Really.