Margaret, Chapter One of Going Rogue by Sarah Palin ends on page 62. That’s about 61 pages after it should have ended. It has approximately 19,500 words to it, but not one of them was worth reading. It’s all pure crap. If this chapter is any indication of what’s ahead, then it appears Mrs. Palin plans to spend the rest of her life getting even with the world by rewriting history.
The very first page of the book is a map of the globe as seen from the North Pole – I guess to emphasize the proximity of Alaska to Russia. Honestly honey, when is she going to learn that dog don’t hunt? Her defending us from Russia would be about as effective as Todd Palin’s preferred brand of condoms. Oh yes – Track arrived not quite 8 months after they sprinted to the courthouse to elope. I guess Sarah’s ghost writer didn’t think anyone who reads this book could count.
And oh my but did she love to read. All her life all she ever did was read, read, read. Too bad somewhere along the way she didn’t learn to write. And that college thing… Well, it seems that it took so many years and so many different colleges to get a degree because she had to work so much. And by work, she means entering beauty pageants and sleeping with Todd.
She finds a way to reference Ronald Reagan as early as page three in this chapter – which is supposedly about her childhood - and then mentions him again about a dozen more times before the chapter ends. Even her Grandpa ate jelly beans and looked remarkably like Ronald Regan. And Sarah’s favorite words - patriotic, patriot and patriotism - populate her paragraphs like children conceived out of wedlock populate her family tree.
On page two we learn that sweet little Piper, Sarah and Todd’s fourth child, is the poster child for the Alaska Right to Life group, but if you ask me, she should have been the poster child for the waning popularity of Jay Leno and late night television. I guess there’s not much to do on cold nights in Alaska except watching out for Russians and wooing Palins.
Margaret, I tried to come to this with an open mind. Really I did, sweetheart. I wanted to believe that there really was something of substance to someone who captured the imagination of millions. Even Barbara Walters has Sarah on her Top 10 list for the year. But it’s just not there, Margaret. Substance. She has none. Not even with a ghost writer. I mean how much respect can you have for a woman who describes the birth of her first son by writing, “Oh. My. Gosh. I thought I was going to die… Had any woman ever hurt this much? I didn’t think so.” Is it possible her ghost writer is a man?
But honestly, why am I so nasty about this woman? First I called her a bitch and now I am suggesting her knees are together about as often has Hillary Clinton appears in public with Bill. Look. There I go again sounding like a dime novel. But her entire attitude and approach to life – the sheer hypocrisy of it all – just really gets my goat. Consider the following excerpt from the book which refers to a State Trooper who pulled her over for an illegal joy ride on a snow machine:
“It was Christmas Day; we were out in the middle of nowhere, a couple of kids on a snowmachine up against a big dude with a gun and a badge. I couldn’t help but wondering about his priorities, if he really didn’t have more important things to do, like catching a bad guy, or helping a poor old lady haul in her firewood for the night. Looking back, maybe that was my first brush with the skewed priorities of government.” Page. 18
And that, dear Margaret, sums up my issue with Sarah Palin and so many others like her. They are so quick to look for the “bad guys” in everyone else never seeing the one staring back at them in the mirror each morning.
Here’s hoping Chapter Two has something worth writing about because I’ve only got a few years left on this earth and I hate that even a few hours are being wasted on this exercise in fertility. Pun intended. I mean it. Really.
What’s up, just wanted to tell you, I loved this blog post. It was inspiring. Keep on posting!
By: Zoila on September 18, 2012
at 1:05 AM
I absolutely love her comments on Palin’s book. I saw it at the dollar store…hahaha. I think I’ll spend the buck just to look at the references she speaks of….
By: Anonymous on July 15, 2012
at 4:03 PM
Thank you thank you thank you! SOMEBODY has to say this, and you do it so well!
By: Naomi Baltuck on May 20, 2012
at 5:06 PM
Hope we can take this discussion forwards.
By: 300 Workouts reps on January 5, 2012
at 1:35 AM
What an honest opinion. I love it. I wouldn’t even pick up her book much less try to plow through it.
By: Aeval on September 10, 2010
at 11:24 AM
Oh ladies, you speak the truth with such beautiful snark and insight, it regularly makes coffee come out my nose.
In case you missed this:
By: marissa on May 3, 2010
at 2:44 PM
DElurker… Gates is meant to make a major announcement next tuesday??? Could it be? ONE for the good side! Keep em coming guys keep em coming…..
By: lori on January 28, 2010
at 3:11 PM
Since Margaret and Helen are on Vacation…
I thought I would give you some thoughts
to ponder…..
FIRST:
last nights comment by
MSNBC’s Chris Matthews said on the post-speech commentary that speaking of Obama ” I forgot he was black tonight,” .
WOW..now thats not racist….
And now for the Top comments by our servicemen……..
” U.S. Marines — Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club”
” Water-boarding is out… so kill them all!”
“Interrogators can’t water board dead guys”
” U.S. Marines — Travel Agents To Allah”
“Stop Global Whining”
“When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine”
“Naval Corollary; Dead men don’t testify”
“The Marine Corps — When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight”
“Death Smiles At Everyone — Marines Smile Back”
“Marine Sniper – You can run, but you’ll just die tired!”
“What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? …. A little Recoil”
“Marines – Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775″*
“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It”
“Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon”
“It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden – It’s Our Job To Arrange The Meeting”
“Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl”
“One Shot, Twelve Kills — USN Gun Fire Support”
“Do draft dodgers Have Reunions? If So, What Do They Talk About?”
“My kid fought in Iraq so your kid can party in college”
“Machine Gunners — Accuracy by Volume”
“A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy – Blessed Be The Peacemakers”
“If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran”
“Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything.*
“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don’t have that problem.” – Ronald Reagan
Lets hear it for our men in uniform in Haiti…!
By: craigΔ on January 28, 2010
at 2:34 PM
LOL @ the comments section, JJoe!
By: Claire on January 28, 2010
at 2:18 PM
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/glenn-beck-thinks-president-obama-go
By: JuneauJoe on January 28, 2010
at 2:05 PM
Give Lori the CupiDoll.
She’s right, they are not meant to show emotion..that is the senior officers making up the
Joint Chiefs of Staff…as well as Chief Justices.
They were appointed. Not elected.
AND,….
“I thought I’d get some applause for that one!” was priceless! Way to call them on their pettiness, sir!
WHY give him anymore credit than he deserves?
Just what the hell is he gonna do for the remaining three years?
He has spent more time giving speeches,collecting awards and showing up in Denmark every other week than being President.
Did ya see Biden..He almost didn’t know when to clap on cue or not…What puppets.
By: craigΔ on January 28, 2010
at 1:45 PM
vgmanΔ
Obama ..experience on or in the beltway system?
He was a senator from Jan 05 to when he was elected president in Nov 2008.
Now how many years did he have of experience of being a senator?… or were you counting the amount of the same time that he was outside the beltway running for President?
There are janitors in the who have more senatorial experience than obama, by just collecting the trash cans in the senate offices.
By: craigΔ on January 28, 2010
at 1:23 PM
“Yeah McCain was a POW. Gee, guess what – he wasn’t the only one. But he certainly has made a career out of being a POW, hasn’t he?”
..Yes Greytdog..He has been popular and perhaps its because he was a prisoner..so perhaps he knows more than any of us what it is like to be out of country and starving for support to survive.
You can include Robert Dole in that group as well.
And Donna what the Hell? You write
“When it comes to McCain, he may have engaged in acts which were heroic. His motivations are unknowable. However, he also engaged in acts which were stupid, dishonest, cruel, and reckless. I decline to ignore the less admirable parts of the man.”
MOTIVATIONS…?
Geez Donna he was a professional aviator defending his country engaged in a “police action”
WAR in Vietnam.
And what actions were stupid? cruel? reckless?
what less admirable parts of the man?
Oh..I see, you were writing about Ted Kennedy
and his driving abilities.
By: craigΔ on January 28, 2010
at 1:09 PM
Lori, I guess you’re right. I felt like I did see a reaction but I may be wrong.
By: Delurker Girl Δ on January 28, 2010
at 12:54 PM
Gates cheered for repeal of don’t ask don’t tell.. the others, in their defense, are not meant to show any emotion, one way or the other.
By: lori on January 28, 2010
at 10:34 AM
I agree wholeheartedly, Delurker Girl!
By: Claire on January 28, 2010
at 9:26 AM
One bleak spot last night. Did you see the stone faced military reaction to Obama’s statements about gays serving in the military? It was shameful, IMO.
By: Delurker Girl Δ on January 28, 2010
at 9:04 AM
The worst criticism I’ve seen from the right is that Obama was arrogant. Can they make up their minds? They’ve spent the last year saying he isn’t arrogant enough, with all his weak apology touring around the world.
As a country, I feel we NEEDED to hear what he had to say last night. It was such a big boost for our optimism!
I will never get used to the pettiness in the crowd during the SOTUA. Watching those stone faced Republicans when Obama is conveying things that are so good for this country, while Democrats clap wildly. I’m as annoyed by it when it’s the other way around. Doesn’t that seem abundantly immature? You can see them all staring at the front couple of rows to take their cue over how they are to react.
I had a lot of favorite lines but the one about “I thought I’d get some applause for that one!” was priceless! Way to call them on their pettiness, sir!
I wish that we could get some traction on getting unemployment down. I feel strongly that political bickering and grandstanding in front of the media is the cause for the lack of progress. The ‘liberal media’ keeps letting teabagging hotheads get on the air and throw grenades that aren’t even based on fact. Focus on real news and not opinions or artful spinnery!
By: Delurker Girl Δ on January 28, 2010
at 8:56 AM