If your village is missing its idiot, you might check in California. They seem to be overrun with them. Most recently they decided to legislate love.
Let me tell you a little story about my shit for brains nephew who actually does live in California. He was married ten years and had two children. Sadly, it didn’t work out. Honestly she was horrible, but you never really want to see a marriage end. So we were all a little sad when she left and he fell apart. Eventually he got his shit together, picked up the pieces and met another girl. I don’t like her much, but she makes him happy so what do I care if they want to get married? However, the Catholic church cared a great deal. You see, he was still married in the eyes of the church even though his moron of an ex-wife had been gone 4 years. And the new one is also divorced… and (oh my) a Baptist.
Problem? Not for long. Two annulments later and voila – they were never married. Never mind the kids. Bastards all of them I guess. Funny but I didn’t know the Catholic church could annul a Baptist marriage, but you live and learn.
I’ve lived a long time and I have learned many things. For instance, I now know that even if the marriage is annulled, you don’t get your wedding gift back. I also learned that the previously married then divorced then never really married and now newly engaged couple can actually have the gall to print on their invitation where they are registered. As if that blender I purchased for the first wedding was annulled as well. But I digress…
Give me just a second… I need to remove a spec from my eye…. There. That feels much better. Now. Where was I? Oh yes…
Fill out a check and sign a few forms and two marriages each producing two children are suddenly gone – as if they never really existed. Feel free to marry again. Feel free to ask for more gifts. Feel free to check your brains at the church door. Feel free to pull that enormous beam out of your eye.
Honestly folks. If we paid as much attention to the sexual activities of Catholic priests as we do to homosexuals wanting to marry, we probably could have saved a lot of children from years of guilt, shame, anger and pain.
The world has just gone plain crazy I tell you. The next thing you know a smart, accomplished Latina woman will be nominated to the Supreme Court. Oh the horrors… the horrors.
Can’t we all just get along? Really. I mean it.