Margaret, after reading Chapter 6 of Ann Coulter’s book I am convinced that Ann Coulter hates me. And I am sorry to break it to you honey, but she hates you too. In fact, there are roughly 6.8 billion people in the world and Ann Coulter hates every last one of them… except for maybe George Bush and Sarah Palin.
This chapter is titled “When 95 Percent of World Domination Just Isn’t Enough…” which seems to have nothing to do with anything contained in the chapter. It should have been titled ” 95% of Ann Coulter is pure bullshit… and the other 5% is pure bullshit.” It occurs to me that reading a Coulter book is like drinking the water in Mexico – eventually you find yourself wondering if the shit will ever stop.
The entire chapter seems to be one long argument over whether Bill Clinton’s scandals while in office were worse than George Bush’s scandals while in office. Of course, Ann doesn’t think there were any scandals of note while Bush was in office. In fact, Ann felt Bush’s biggest failure was that he spent his entire time trying to appease Democrats. I can only assume that Ann has no idea what “appease” means. It’s kind of a big word for her.
I really can’t explain this chapter other than maybe Ann didn’t think anyone would read this far into her book. I may have indeed gone where no man has gone before when I finished this chapter. That’s one small step for me and one giant foot for Ann.
Margaret, you’ll have to forgive me if my summation of this chapter is a bit wanting. Ann’s thought process was even worse than her sentence structure so I don’t intend to spend anymore time on this summary except to say this:
Bill Clinton cheated on just one person - his wife. George Bush cheated on… well 6.8 billion of us. You tell me which is worse.
Before I go, I want to briefly move on to a more relevant topic – not that Coulter is relevant ever – but reading this chapter made me realize that the two political parties seem to be in a no-win war to see which one can screw things up while blaming it on the other. I am just disgusted with the entire House and Senate right now. For years I took care of a husband and raised three kids. If I ran my house like they run the government, I would have never gotten food on the table to feed my children. Who are these idiots?
To the morons running this country: If you would spend as much time working on the nation’s problems as you spend trying to avoid paying taxes, you’d realize that most of us out here are neither red nor blue. We’re varying shades of purple and we’re fed up with your nonsense. Get together and figure a way out of this mess. Trust me – you don’t want me to come up there and figure it out for you, because if I have to come up there your ass is going to be introduced to my foot. It may not be a gigantic foot like Ms. Coulter’s but it will get the job done.
And with that, dear Margaret, I need to take a nap. This book is boring the hell out of me, but I only have one chapter left. I can’t wait to move on to something more enjoyable than Ann Coulter – like irritable bowel syndrome. I mean it really.
[...] be able to correctly sport the OJORTS. For example, stars like Rihanna, Kid Rock, and Ann Coulter would be able to successfully wear this fashion. Kid Rock with his country-rebel persona, Rihanna [...]
By: JORTS: Your Fashion MUST-HAVE This Spring! « MISTER DIPLOMAT on April 5, 2009
at 11:17 PM
Oooooo Helen, I just read this blog. You know I love you and I agree with you on Ann Coulter but making light of Bill Clinton cheating on his wife is just not cool. I’m not sure it’s a better or worse scenario. Both are terrible but quite frankly I would rather my husband cheat on everyone else other than me! haha Doesn’t mean that Geaorge W isn’t a screw up. I just mean that Bill Clinton “ain’t no prize” either.
By: Christine on March 9, 2009
at 9:54 PM
Okay, I have irritable bowel syndrome and I have to say…it is totally more enjoyable than Ann Coulter. Well spotted.
By: slythwolf on February 27, 2009
at 12:51 AM
[...] excerpt from the post “Ann Coulter Is Just Not That Into Anyone” just slays [...]
By: My Favorite Book Review of All Time « 50 Fabulous Firsts on February 26, 2009
at 10:46 PM
“Now I take offense to that. I remember Jackie Kennedy. Her feet were very tiny.”
I seem to recall reading somewhere that Jackie Kennedy wore size 10 shoes–hey, I wear size 11, so I’m not prejudiced against long-footed women.
I’m not Ann Coulter, though!
By: Helena Montana on February 25, 2009
at 12:04 PM
This post is sublime.
By: Verbal on February 24, 2009
at 8:28 AM
Okay….Margaret and Helen…it is Monday morning, I am at my desk with my coffee…waiting….waiting for your latest post…waiting….having coffee….waiting…
By: Michael C. on February 23, 2009
at 7:10 AM
Last post of the early am as it’s time to take the meds and crawl back to bed. See ya all later.
Michael Winship is senior writer of the weekly public affairs program Bill Moyers Journal. Here’s a bit of a conversation Winship had with Washington Post associate editor Robert G. Kaiser on the political expectation of “living large” and that this expectation is probably the only place where true bipartisanship exists:
“The “everybody does it” syndrome took over in Washington a long time ago and, in general, an indifferent, cynical public seems unmotivated to do anything about it. “They do not expect Congress to do the right thing,” Kaiser said, “They do not expect high ethical standards. On the contrary.”
Source: http://themoderatevoice.com/26663/on-capitol-hill-money-is-the-root-of-all-hypocrisy-guest-voice/#more-26663
By: Greytdog Δ on February 23, 2009
at 6:05 AM
Omigod – it’s that time of year again. The Annual Peeps show
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/gallery/2008/03/21/GA2008032101983.html?hpid=moreheadlines
By: Greytdog Δ on February 23, 2009
at 5:49 AM
For morning punnies. . . go here:
http://www.eduwonk.com/2009/02/a-contest-name-that-law.html
In re to renaming the No Child Left Behind. The entries are hysterical. (but they make me hurt when I laugh)
By: Greytdog Δ on February 23, 2009
at 5:47 AM
Global Warming: I just cross country skiied into Mendenhall Glacier in Juneau, AK. It is an awesome sight but I was talking to a fellow who was talking about the retreating rate of the glacier. Since industrialization, the rate of retreat is increasing at a faster and faster rate. I was also told that things in the Juneau area are warming up when temps are compared over time.
We have wasted 8 years of using false information perpetuated by Bush and friends. President Obama needs to move on Climate because of the inaction of Bush/cheney and the charlatan scientists they used to play semantics and ignoring real data.
Climate issues are real. Ask villagers in AK.
Help feed a village too:
http://anonymousbloggers.wordpress.com/another-village-in-need-of-help/
By: JuneauJoe Δ on February 22, 2009
at 9:35 PM
Okay…who are you really?? AND where have you been all my life?? You are just TOO COOL, Lady!!!! Looking forward to your next post!!
By: Steven on February 22, 2009
at 4:57 PM
Helen, I ama new reader and you are my new hero. My given name is Margaret so I am just gonna pretend you are talking to me and that we have been friends for 60 years.
Bless your wit and wisdom and THANK YOU for reading Ms. Coulter’s book so we don’t have to!
I saw her on Larry King this week and thought she was even ruder and more insufferable than usual!
By: Peg on February 22, 2009
at 4:06 PM
(Insert Deliverance theme music here)
By: MirrorMan Δ on February 22, 2009
at 3:57 PM
ddddd:
“So in turn basically yes they were trying to help people…. The whole thing is the republican philosophy behind the bill was completely different than the democrats side…. ”
====
Well, not exactly. The GOP philosophy behind the bill was completely different from the reality of economics.
I have not heard ONE complaint from the GOP or it’s leader (Limbaugh) that was valid. In each case they seized on some issue that they could spin to their gullible followers in a way that makes it look like the stimulus bill was just wasting money.
Example: New “green” fleet cars for the government. This would produce several stimuli, both immediate and long-term. It would create jobs, help the automakers, FORCE American automakers (if they want to survive) to start doing what they should have been doing for years (making greener cars with better mileage), support green industries and alternative fuels by creating a HUGE demand, create jobs, create demand for auto-connected 2nd-party supplies and services which will create jobs…it goes on and on.
The GOP wants to continue to have a supply-side economy, without regulation, which is what has destroyed our economy. The only way to fix our economy is to stimulate the economy with a demand-side approach, focusing on increasing demand by creating demands for what America needs (i.e., rebuilding infrastructure, green cars from automakers), which provides Americans jobs, which allows them to again start purchasing stuff beyond survival needs, which creates more jobs and more demand…you get th epicture.
So the GOP is playing its gullible supporters like two-dollar banjos, taking advantage of their ignorance and gullibility.
By: Political Amazon on February 22, 2009
at 3:29 PM
UAW:
My husband is a physicist who works on the West Antarctic Ice Sheet (WAIS) project. He collaborates with geologists and earth and atmospheric scientists from all over the world, including his current collaborator at UC Berkeley.
Global climate change is not a hoax or a myth. It’s not some grand conspiracy to get you or me or anyone to pay more taxes.
Scientists, well-respected, published, peer-supported scientists are in 100% consensus: global climate change is a reality and humans are exacerbating a natural cycle by the greedy consumption of fossil fuels.
This isn’t a hobby– is a science; a hard proven fact. If you think otherwise, you might need to actually do some scientific research on some ice core samples and get into climatology to have your “belief” get you a little bit of credibility.
By: skyewriter on February 22, 2009
at 1:26 PM