Margaret, you are the only person for whom I would do this. Reading Ann Coulter’s book is like chewing aspirin without water. I just finished another chapter and I am sitting here wondering if anyone has actually seen Ann using complex tools like a ball point pen or say… I don’t know… a toaster? After reading the 4th chapter of her book I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that she actually doesn’t even have opposable thumbs. I could be wrong, but it is hard to believe that the person who wrote this book is also capable of fine motor skills.
You might have to read these next lines more than once. It is very difficult trying to summarize the logic being used by Coulter in this chapter titled: Witless Witnesses to History. Try typing that 10 times with no opposable thumbs and a size 17 foot in your mouth! I can only assume she was under deadline and needed to fill some pages.
According to Coulter, some Republicans are idiots because they write books calling other Republicans idiots. Now Margaret, help me out here. Ann is calling some Republicans idiots for writing books where they say nasty things about other Republicans, but in this chapter alone Ann trashes about a dozen Republicans for doing this. So doesn’t that make Ann an idiot a dozen times over? I hope you can follow that because I read the whole chapter and I am still confused.
Now if the chapter was written by say – a sloth – then I might understand. But this book is written by a #1 New York Times Bestselling Author. It says so right there on the jacket cover above the picture of Ann. Come to think of it, Ann is not only hiding her feet in that picture, she is also hiding her thumbs. I wonder…
Basically the chapter is making the case that the media loves it when Republicans turn on one another but tends to ignore it when a Democrat turns on a Democrat. I guess Ann never turned on the TV or opened a newspaper during the 100-year war otherwise known as the Clinton-Obama primary elections. Of course turning on a TV and opening a newspaper is more difficult when you don’t have opposable thumbs.
Look folks. This latest chapter is just stupid and I am not going to waste any more time trying to explain it. If you buy the book skip pages 111-135. Ann must have been off her meds while writing them.
And there is another chapter I would like to close as well. That would be the chapter in history where anyone cares what Dick Cheney has to say. I feel bad too because Dick and I are both senior citizens, although at age 103, he now has 20 years on me. You realize, of course, he is now aging in dog years. That happens to you after you pee on the White House lawn a few times.
You know what Dick? Shut the hell up. You had eight years to scare the American people into hysteria so that you could get away with murder. And I use the word murder not to complete an expression, but rather literally. It was an illegal war. If it were up to me we’d throw you in a cell and read Chapter 4 of Ann Coulter’s book to you non-stop.
Sorry I got off-topic there everyone, but you seem to do it all the time in the comments so you can’t hold it against me. Three chapters to go and then we can leave Ms. Coulter behind. Hang in there. I mean it. Really.
hey helen – hope you’re having a beautiful weekend wherever you are here in austin. here’s a little spring time from bee caves for you!
love
howlgirl
By: howlgirl on March 1, 2009
at 12:30 PM
“Dick Cheney is mentally ill.
He will die a paranoid, delusional, wreck of a man.”….sounds the exact way he has been “living”
…As for AN, funny how she gets that “best seller” tag, guess no matter that her publisher BUYS BACK her books for handouts at the conservative functions/fundrisers does not disqualify even thou a “contractual” duty to so oblige her in order to pump it as if she has REAL sales…..Pathetic all the way around and such a waste of human bones and oxygen and etc especially when others could put such to good use !!!!
By: Buttons on March 1, 2009
at 12:16 PM
Correction to my previous post;
‘the world’ should read ‘the developed world’
Oh bulderdash Southern Girl. Bush’s health care system is workin’ so well for the poor and the elderly is it?
US health care is one of the most expensive, yet provides one of the lowest standards of health care, in the developed world. Your mortality levels are amongst the highest. And private insurance companies laugh all the way to the bank. In Australia, if you’re poor, the Government provides your health care. It’s not as fancy as private care, but it saved my life once and didn’t cost me a cent.
By: Helen on February 27, 2009
at 8:13 AM
southern girl, i’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you might want to read the plan and the program itself if you think it’s not an improvement – a considerable improvement – over what we’ve got today. turn off FOX and check things out for yourself.
we’re killing our elderly and uninsured NOW. with obama’s plan there’s more than hope – there’s viable recovery.
By: howlgirl on February 26, 2009
at 8:34 PM
Oh “swear word” what the heck is this now?
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Slime balls will do anything for a buck.
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at 7:41 PM
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By: jackson on February 25, 2009
at 6:28 PM
Helen, I have just found your blog. The link was provided to me by one of my MySpace friends. I am so glad she posted this. This is the the funniest political humor I have ever read. You are one very smart and extremely funny lady. I only hope my mind and wit is one tenth as sharp as yours is now when I am, hopefully your age.
I wish Ann Coulter would read this but it would be wasted on her because she has the humor of a piece of wood.
By: zimmie02 on February 24, 2009
at 6:18 PM
Ditto what Helen from Australia just said. Except I’m talking about third world South Africa. Not fancy, but free for all children under six, all pregnant women, and anyone who can’t afford to pay. And if you have an income, you pay according to your income level. If you want to pay for fancy private health care, that’s your choice. But nobody is excluded from public health care. If we can do it, why can’t you?
By: Riani on February 11, 2009
at 7:25 AM
Oh bulderdash Southern Girl. Bush’s health care system is workin so well for the poor and the elderly is it?
US health care is one of the most expensive, yet provides one of the lowest standards of health care, in the world. Your mortality levels are amongst the highest. And private insurance companies laugh all the way to the bank. In Australia, if you’re poor, the Government provides your health care. It’s not as fancy as private care, but it saved my life once and didn’t cost me a cent.
By: Helen on February 11, 2009
at 1:57 AM
sure hopin’ you ladies have figured out some sort of private fund for insurance…because you’re the first to go in our new government. Forget saving for “emergencies” (non health related)…with the new health care policy…the elderly should just “accept” that they’re going to die.
By: SouthernGirl on February 11, 2009
at 12:09 AM