Well, the holidays are upon us and many of you are asking about the War On Christmas. I wasn’t aware the holiday was under attack but with George Bush still in the White House war for any reason against any government or institution is certainly possible. So here is our best effort on the subject of Jesus vs. Santa Claus.
From Helen:
Oh give me a break. The last time I checked you could hang a Christmas tree upside down in your house if that is how you wanted to celebrate the holiday. Seriously. Have any of you seen this? Christmas trees hanging upside down everywhere. I asked the owner of a shop I was in recently, and she said it is easier to hang the ornaments that way because the branches don’t get in the way. Talk about throwing the baby Jesus out with the bath water… it’s upside down for God’s sake. Who cares if the ornaments aren’t touching the branches below. But I am missing the point of this essay…
Many people are upset because the baby Jesus seems to be overshadowed by Santa Claus, Rudolf, Frosty and other American’s personal traditions. Well, it’s that last part that really seems to be the issue because the rest of those guys aren’t real. Of course some people have argued that the face of Jesus appeared in a pancake or the virgin Mary in an MRI scan so being real is kind of relative. But this isn’t an argument on the reality of Jesus. THAT is an argument about faith and faith is relative to the person not the holiday. THIS is an argument on how we celebrate the holiday in America, and it is important to note the distinction between the two. You can’t argue faith. It’s pointless. But you can argue about the appropriateness of a plastic Holy Family on the front lawn of the county court house.
In your home you can celebrate Christmas with the Nativity or with any other festivity depending on what the holiday means to you. In public you have two problems. First, a government building still has the responsibility to recognize that 75 million of its citizens don’t subscribe to the virgin birth theory or the holiday celebrating it. Second, a retail building like a mall wants to appeal to the widest audience possible so why decorate in such a way as to alienate 24% of its customers? Now private property is another story. By all means, if Jesus is the reason for the season with you, then put a bulb in the back of your plastic baby Jesus and light the way to your front door for all to see.
But folks it’s a two-way street. Stars or trumpets hanging down Main Street are pretty whether you celebrate Christmas or not. White deer, snowmen, and snowflakes can be enjoyed by everyone. But you can’t convince me that a virgin Mary holding a plastic baby Jesus in every front yard is going to bestow extra blessings on us. Trust me, Jesus isn’t that shallow. If you want to bestow extra blessings try working towards world peace. Now that is something Jesus can get behind.
At my house, we put the tree right side up. We put out a Creche that was hand-painted by Harold’s mother. There’s an angel on top of the tree and a Santa Claus sitting in the corner. We like to give gifts especially for the children. Some of us start the day by going to church and some of us don’t, but we all come together around the table filled with a traditional holiday meal.
However you celebrate the holiday with your family – celebrate it fully and savor the time with loved ones. Hang your tree right side up, upside down or stick it up your ass for all I care. Quit worrying about how others choose to celebrate it. It accomplishes nothing except to ruin your own holiday.
And look – for those of you who are now crafting the comments about the history of Christmas, Christmas trees, Winter Solstice, Druids, Pagans and what not – because I can already hear you typing out there - you’re missing the point of my rant. The holiday is about what it means to you and your family and no one can take that away from you and your family except you and your family. So Merry Christmas at my house. Happy Holidays at yours. Either way I wish you happiness and good health for the coming year.
One last thing before I go. There is a war I do want to start. I want to start a war on that horrible Christmas song called Christmas Shoes. Certainly you know the song. They play it every hour on the hour this time of year. Who in their right mind wants to hear about a small boy spending his allowance to buy a pair of shoes for his mother so that she’ll look nice for Jesus when she (apparently) dies on Christmas day. Talk about a war on Christmas. The boy is about to lose his mother on Christmas and someone convinced him that Jesus gives a rat’s ass what shoes she’s wearing. If you want to save Christmas call your local radio station and ask them to please stop playing that song.
There you go. That’s all I’ve got.
From Margaret:
Tradition. When I think of the holidays I think of tradition. To send a fruit cake or not to send a fruit cake. To invite Howard’s brother and his “Negative Nancy” wife or not to invite them. To serve a spiked holiday punch even though three of Howard’s nephews are in AA or not serve the holiday punch. It all comes down to tradition. That and Thank You notes. What happened to writing Thank You notes? Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I received a Thank You note for any Christmas Gift that Howard and I have given. Now, I don’t give gifts IN ORDER to receive a Thank You note. Really, I don’t. It is just proper manners. Tradition
So, for those of you dreading the holidays. Dreading the same old “routine”. Dreading the same people that were there last year…you didn’t care for them then so you’re not going to care for them now. My advice to you is to start your own tradition. Do something this year…anything…and announce it to all that it is now your tradition. You will be amazed how it works. And then when all is said and done…send a Thank You note for gifts you have received. It matters, really.
That’s it. I’m done.
P.S. Happy Birthday, Helen, dear. You are loved now more than ever before. Howard said to tell you that you are now older than he is…at least for a month. My goodness, dear, but the years have flown by haven’t they?
We hope everyone is preparing for a wonderful holiday. Our gift to you was not talking about a certain beauty queen from up north. If you have been hit hard by the Bush Depression, then make your gift your time. Spending time with family never goes out of style. And keep warm. We mean it. Really.
Glad you have this contest. I’ve been maineng to send this suggestion but haven’t gotten around to it until this incentive came along. You are doing a good job at the Coop of sourcing many items locally, or as locally as possible. I would like to see the coop source even more items from local growers and producers, and less items from out of state or out of the country. Obviously there are many items that can only come from far away. But I’m sure there are still more items that could be obtained closer to LA. Thanks, and keep up the good work. Don White (Co-Op member)
By: Peggie on December 18, 2012
at 5:47 PM
I quite like looking through an article that can make people think. Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!
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at 5:59 PM
You guys slay me! I love your blog. This was a wonderful post. 5 brb
By: Oszukać Ruletkę on December 29, 2010
at 1:35 PM
[...] Separating Church and State (at least during Christmas) [...]
By: I Should Post About Religion More Often « The Sandbox Confessions of a Multicultural Muslimah on February 4, 2009
at 3:25 AM
Hey, Ladies! A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to both of you! Thanks for all the great posts- I look forward to reading more soon!
I’m a big fan of thank-you notes, myself. I don’t expect to get them most of the time, but I sure do love sending them.
By: allisonwonder on January 4, 2009
at 6:10 AM
You guys slay me! I love your blog. This was a wonderful post.
By: DebbieB on December 23, 2008
at 10:31 AM
Wow! I am listening to Christmas music at work and am just know hearing “Christmas Shoes” for the first (and hopefully my last) time. I want to shoot myself!!! Make it stop!!!!
Happy Holidays To All!!!
By: NC Kate on December 22, 2008
at 12:17 PM
Poor ooor Patrick. I shamefacedly admit to actually dating someone once who under the surface was like this Patrick. Like most people with such out of whack, extreme to the point of insanity religious beliefs, he used them as a vice, a crutch and as a cover up, a license to stay damaged, insecure, scared and hateful and small minded. Not to mention the fact that, he and his friend, who also claims to be born again and claims to know all the answers because he knows Jesus more personally than anyone else, these two people caused me more pain, heartache, misery, tears and hurt than anyone or anything in the world. Very very poor ambassadors for God. And to me, there is no greater sin than that.
Patrick, I will pray for you. I will pray that you and people like you, like Jimmy Swaggart and Ted Haggard who are so confused and lost and who weild the Bible like a child playing with his dad’s gun, I will pray God truly shows you the way, that He lifts the hatred and blindness from you, and He helps you find a way to truly love Him, instead of just using Him as a justifcation for your bitterness, small mindedness and hatred.
I myself, I feel pretty right with God right now. He very rarely answers my bigger prayers, but he answered a BIG one Nov. 4. I prayed so hard that Obama would win and that the reign of ignorance, hatred, intolerance, and pointless wars would be over. And blessed be, God heard me. I wept with relief and joy and got down on my knees and thanked Jesus, who happens to be my savior, too, for finally granting us a leader with a good heart, a good mind, and who knows what we need and how to get it.
By: HoneyJoRumples on December 21, 2008
at 10:44 AM
Merry Christmas to you ladies, and Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to everyone else out there. Stop hating and being negative, and embrace the love that your “reason for the season” Jesus preached.
You ladies always bring a smile to my face; it’s not until I read the comments below that I always find some right wing nut or God freak who brings me down with their ignorance.
Here is hoping that you both have many more Christmases to celebrate. And Margaret (and Helen too), since I don’t have your addresses consider this my “Thank You” note for your gift of wit and wisdom provided now and throughout the year.
By: Jonny J on December 19, 2008
at 8:11 AM
Margaret,
I agree with you; no one sends Thank You cards anymore. But then, no one sends holiday cards(Christmas, New Year’s, whatever) now, either. I don’t know if I prefer no card versus an email card. All I know is I can’t put the email on my mantel or use it in the tree. Emailing instead of phoning, check. Email instead of writing a letter, maybe. Blogging instead of killing your neighbor, check. Even (choke) thank you’s by email. But Christmas cards or even sympathy cards by email? Ugh!
By: K2inSR on December 18, 2008
at 3:04 PM
sorry,
one more typo correction, above for “now about” read “know about”
By: Werner Oderwer on December 17, 2008
at 2:19 PM
Happy Birthday Helen,
it was mine too (the 51st, I am over 50 now (sounds young to you, but still shocks me….:-))
I completly agree with Ilano and the Alaskan and just hope that we can find more people with “sober” and active brains like that and I especially think that your blog is an excellent way to get those people out in the open!
Without you a few neibourghs (?, sorry still too german for the Queen’s own language!) and local aquaintances would now about them, but through your blog all of us and a few more we talk too can share those important belives. And, by the way, I am a deeply beliving Atheist (Oh how I love this definition!)
To all of you, with the exception of these braindead, hate-related burn in hell morons:
For the Holidays (and all Birthdays!) I wish you
All the Best…
…..and lot’s of it!
Werner
http://werner-oderwer.tumblr.com
By: Werner Oderwer on December 17, 2008
at 2:12 PM
Hey ya’ll! Jew here… figured out Colorful’s speaking in tongues thing!!!
She was trying to speak in Hebrew but because he watered down, colorless, fire and brimstone Christianity doesn’t allow them to see the beauty or value in anyone else’s beliefs, they don’t know how!
See it’s clear now! Okay, here, let me try to interpret…
יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְפָנֶיךָ ה’ אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ וֵא-לֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ, שֶתּוֹלִיכֵנוּ לְשָלוֹם וְתַצְעִידֵנוּ לְשָלוֹם. וְתִסְמְכֵנוּ לְשָלוֹם. וְתַדְרִיכֵנוּ לְשָלוֹם. וְתַגִיעֵנוּ לִמְחוֹז חֶפְצֵנוּ לְחַיִּים וּלְשִמְחָה וּלְשָלוֹם וְתַצִּילֵנוּ מִכַּף כָּל אוֹיֵב וְאוֹרֵב וְלִסְטִים וְחַיּוֹת רָעוֹת בַדֶּרֶךְ וּמִכָּל מִינֵי פּוּרְעָנִיּוֹת הַמִתְרַגְּשוֹת לָבוֹא לָעוֹלָם וְתִשְלַח בְּרָכָה בְּכל מַעֲשֵה יָדֵינוּ, וְתִתְּנֵנוּ לְחֵן וּלְחֶסֶד וּלְרַחֲמִים בְעֵינֶיךָ וּבְעֵינֵי כָל רוֹאֵינוּ וְתִשְמַע קוֹל תַּחֲנוּנֵינוּ. כִּי אֵ-ל שוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה וְתַחֲנוּן אתה: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה’, שוֹמֵעַ תְּפִלָּה.
English you ask? Here – May it be Your will, G!d, our G!d and the G!d of our ancestors, that You lead us toward peace, guide our footsteps toward peace, and make us reach our desired destination for life, gladness, and peace. May You rescue us from the hand of every foe, ambush along the way, and from all manner of punishments that assemble to come to earth. May You send blessing in our handiwork, and grant us grace, kindness, and mercy in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who see us. May You hear the sound of our humble request because You are G!d Who hears prayer requests. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who hears prayer.
Yes, Colorful and Patrick… that is Tefilat HaDerech, the prayer for travelers… so travel your bigoted butt out of this blog. Jesus would be very disappointed in how you treat your neighbors… remember folks – Hillel said, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.” and then Jesus, who really was a nice Jewish boy learned about his religion and re-conveyed it as “Treat others as you want to be treated.”
Respect my religion and beliefs and I will respect yours.
Please don’t pray for me. I am an adult and I made my choices based on all the evidence presented to me and not because my mom/dad/grandma/preacher told me/beat it into me/ forced me into a religion.
And if you are right and I go to hell then so be it but if I am right then everyone will live together in an idyllic world of the moshiach (messiah) and your hatred won’t exist. Till then, don’t read it if you can’t handle it.
By: Talia on December 17, 2008
at 12:32 AM
Margret and Helen, a wish for a most wonderful season to you wonderful ladies! I just found your site today via C&L comments and I’m sure glad I did!
By: Terrible on December 16, 2008
at 11:18 AM
JuneauJoe:
Welcome to town! Check on 84 before you head out–it was closed b/c of our unusually Alaskan (?) weather… Be safe!
Thanks for all you selfless night watching for the rest of us ; )
MB
By: pdx mb on December 16, 2008
at 12:15 AM
I’m just glad that I’m not “saved”, so I don’t have to spend eternity with bigoted people who can’t even spell. Did you read the comment from that guy who told us all to get on our knees and beg forgiveness for our “blasfemy”? Hey Patrick, it’s supposed to be a “ph” (not an “f”) from the Greek, as in the language in which the new testament was originally written.
Also, nobody asks me to get on my knees and beg without buying me dinner first, so just watch yourself, Patrick.
;~)
By: LaSirena on December 15, 2008
at 1:26 PM
I’m just glad that I’m not “saved”, so I don’t have to spend eternity with bigoted people who can’t even spell. Did you read the comment from that guy who told us all to get on our knees and beg forgiveness for our “blasfemy”? Hey Patrick, it’s supposed to be “ph” (not “f”) from the Greek, as in the language in which the new testament was originally written.
Also, nobody asks me to get on my knees and beg without buying me dinner first, so just watch yourself, Patrick.
;~)
By: Anonymous on December 15, 2008
at 1:24 PM
Jan, I am going to Portland. I might end up going up 84 to Wells Nevada though
I have heard great things about the artists in Joseph. I might be going that way this summer. I want to go hang out in Sandpoint and Missoula a bit this summer.
Have a Merry Christmas all!
By: JuneauJoe Δ on December 15, 2008
at 8:59 AM
Celebrate the birth of Christ! Kill a tree and lynch it upside down. Only in America.
Duke
By: Duke Daley on December 15, 2008
at 8:23 AM
Oh Elsie — love everything you’ve written since you rejoined the blog!
“Over several weeks of reading Helen’s thoughts, I’ve come to realize that I don’t even think that these Patrick-Colorful-”Faith”-type rantings are necessarily all bad. Their rants crystallize, for the sane ones here, why we come together to celebrate Helen’s reasoned, spunkyness”
And your letter to your “friend” Maggie — totally awesome. About 6 months ago my husband and I decided we’d quit just deleting and start telling our “friends” what we really thought of all those nasty emails: “if you agree, pass it on, otherwise delete” – “tell the other 14% to sit down and shut up” etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Well, you’d be pleased at how much cleaner and less crowded our in-box is now!
We’re convinced the rightwingfundamentalistbullcrap is fear — they have been convinced that they have to work their way to heaven, and the only way they’re ever going to get there is by getting ahead of other people, and they are so afraid of not making it they have to spend all their time looking for people who are “worse” than they are! It’s really pathetic. That’s also why they want everything they believe encoded into our laws. If it’s free will, they are afraid they can’t make the grade. But if it’s the law, they’ll HAVE to obey, right? They’re convinced they can’t ever do it on their own.
Here’s a couple of books for those of the Christian (or maybe wanna be Christian) faith that really blows the Patricks, Colorfuls, and “Faiths” out of the water:
The Scandalous Gospel of Jesus, by Peter Gomes
The Gospel of Inclusion, by Bishop Carleton Pearson.
Both are really excellent.
Whoever posted way up top about the fact that we make our God into one who conforms to our personal beliefs (a bad paraphrase but you get the idea) is so right!
JuneauJoe – where in Oregon are you headed? We’re in Joseph (way up in the NE, overlooking Hell’s Canyon — what will Patrick and Colorful and the ironically named Faith make of that ??????!!!!!) If you’re gonna be close let us know! We love your posts, too. Safe travels!!
Helen and Margaret, you gals are so awesome! I love everything you write about, the way you think, the way you express it.
This is such a great place for people of progressive thinking and openmindedness to come together. I just love reading the posts, ‘tho I don’t get on here as often as I’d like.
Gotta go check out that video and a couple of other things suggested above.
To all of you great posters, and to Helen and Margaret — have a wonderful season of peace and light, however you celebrate it and however you worship (or not). Kindness . . . sharing . . . family . . . watching out for those others who may need a helping hand . . . ’tis the spirit of the season (should be the spirit of the year-round!)
danjanbee in Joseph
By: Jan on December 14, 2008
at 10:23 PM
Whirled said -
‘open the video link in separate window (right-click), pause it and let it load up in the background before you to play it.
So in light of that I’ll send you an ‘easy-loading’ link”
—————
Oh cool! Works fairly well. Thank you! and I laughed a lot at Wonkette take on happenings.
—————————————-
“Delta: The Difference Operator
Cool…and so appropriate!
~ Δ ~’
———————————-
Yup- works well here. Lots of fun here in all the silly and serious playing with language. thanks for your part in it all!
By: Alaska Pi Δ on December 14, 2008
at 8:27 PM
Hmmm Shoes seem to be popular lately
By: troutay on December 14, 2008
at 7:04 PM
Dear Trolls,
Wow, apparently having a teeny-tiny penis really DOES affect one’s personality!
Love, Mamacita
=======
Dear Sentient Nice People,
Merry and Happy and Jolly _________ (fill in blank with word of your personal choice.) Because I hope y’all are genuinely happy.
Helen and Margaret: you ROCK.
Now, let’s all get out there and be kind to one another.
Love, Mamacita
By: Mamacita on December 14, 2008
at 6:29 PM
Found your site from another blog. Happy belated birthday Helen, it’s my birthday too. And all this time I thought it was me and Emily Dickenson.
~Flo
By: Flo on December 14, 2008
at 6:16 PM