So many of you kept wanting us to talk about Sarah Palin. Sorry, but I have tuned her out. If I want to hear an ass talk I can just ask Harold to pass gas. And speaking of gas, several of you asked about the Auto Industry Bailout. At first we thought “How Boring” but then Harold showed me his credit card bill from Exxon and that got us going…
FROM HELEN:
So the oil companies are once again boasting record profits and yet the auto makers are asking for some government cheese. Does anyone else see the irony here? So I’ve got a little trickle down theory of my own. As long as Detroit continues to make cars for the Gas-Capades let the oil companies bail them out. It’s a “robbing Peter to pay Paul” kind of thing except in this case Peter and Paul seem to be riding the short bus… and it’s not to save on gas.
Is anyone else as pissed about all of this as I am? Eight years ago - 8 YEARS AGO – a brilliant politician who was asking for your vote to become President said this: “We can have a next-stage prosperity where you don’t have to build your lives around a fuel source that is distant, uncertain and easily manipulated. We will demand and develop new technologies to free ourselves from gas-tank price-gouging, and we will sell those technologies to the world. We’ll build a new generation of fuel-efficient vehicles — and then make it easy for families to afford them.“ And that politician, Al Gore, received the majority of votes in the nation and then the Supreme Court told the nation to sit down and shut up.
OK. Now I am all worked up again. Republicans – each and every last one of you – need to reach for the nearest gas pump and then promptly stick it so far up your ass that only Sarah Palin’s “Pipeline From Jesus” can find it. How could you do this to us? An idiot. You put an idiot in charge of things and sat by for EIGHT years while the nation and the world fell apart. And if that wasn’t enough, 58 million of you wanted to replace Laurel with Hardy as the next president. Sweet Jesus if I could jump through this computer screen and slap the crap out of 58 million of you I would.
Everyday is precious. EVERYDAY. And we just pissed away 2,920.
Never again.
FROM MARGARET:
Well, now Helen….I do see your point but please leave my Lincoln Town Car out of this. I love my big old town car. It makes me feel safe to have all that metal around me. Just the other day, I took a little ride in my nephew’s half gas half electricity “car”. I promise you I thought I was going to die. Is that really the future? If so, I pass, thank you very much. You can have the Clown car, I’ll keep my Town car. That’s all I have to say about that.
And there you go again about the Republicans. The damage is done, dear. Time to point that shot gun of yours at something new. There is plenty out there to aim at and plenty to pull the trigger over too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as upset about things as you are. My anger, however, is more local than global. Hasn’t that always been the way with us? Right now I am so angry at the manager of our grocery store. He moves things. I have been going down the same aisle for YEARS to get whatever it is that I am running in there to get and now, nothing. Gone. He moved it. And, no, Helen, I’m not just forgetting where things are. He has moved them around. Makes me so gosh darn mad.
Now, I also know what you are thinking, Helen, but this IS important to me. We can’t ALL keep up with the goings-on of our government and all things like that. I’ll leave that to you, dear. But what about the little problems that face most people everyday? I think these should be addressed as well. Even though I think we could probably fill this blog web page with pages and pages, but don’t worry, I won’t. Oh, and one last thing then I’m done. Just so that you all know. Helen can cuss the shine right off a nun’s shoulder. I can’t. Never have. Although I must admit, one of you commenters used the term “Ass Hat” the other day. Made me laugh so. I kind of like it. Not sure how to use it, but I do think there are times when such a term would do nicely. In fact, there is a certain Grocery Manager I have in mind. Thanks for that.
That’s it. I’m done.
Well thanks for stopping by everyone. We’re having fun and hope you are too. Come back soon. We mean it. Really.
You go, Helen! I’m right there with you! I like the oil company idea, but I have another idea for how I’d like the negotiations to go. I wrote about it here.
http://subliminalintervention.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-id-like-to-see-this-go-down.html
Margaret, I hate it when they move stuff around in the grocery store! What kind of cruel joke is that?
By: Dreamybee on December 8, 2008
at 9:55 PM
[...] Government Cheese of a Different Kind « Margaret and Helen So the oil companies are once again boasting record profits and yet the auto makers are asking for some government cheese. Does anyone else see the irony here? So I’ve got a little trickle down theory of my own. As long as Detroit continues to make cars for the Gas-Capades let the oil companies bail them out. It’s a “robbing Peter to pay Paul” kind of thing except in this case Peter and Paul seem to be riding the short bus… and it’s not to save on gas. [...]
By: Government Cheese of a Different Kind « Faint Voice on November 23, 2008
at 5:23 PM
Pat, I forgo the chunky ice cream, preferring black raspberry or classic vanilla myself. Even in the last decade or two I’ve noticed the change in marketing and shopping. It’s gotten absolutely ridiculous. Thanks Hannaford, I’ll stick to my local shoppes and farmers markets. TV, magazines, and the like may brain wash a lot of the suckers- er population- but I’ve got a foil helmet…and just common sense (which isn’t so common anymore).
By: Mish on November 23, 2008
at 12:35 PM
Today is the first time i gotta chance to check out your blog, some awesome stuff, i will be back!!
you ladies have a fine weekend now
By: Tim on November 22, 2008
at 1:20 PM
[...] Irascible Helen and Margaret have a few words to say about bailing out Detroit. So the oil companies are once again boasting record profits and yet the auto makers are asking for some government cheese. Does anyone else see the irony here? So I’ve got a little trickle down theory of my own. As long as Detroit continues to make cars for the Gas-Capades let the oil companies bail them out. It’s a “robbing Peter to pay Paul” kind of thing except in this case Peter and Paul seem to be riding the short bus… and it’s not to save on gas. [...]
By: Let Chevron Bail out GM | The Ruth Group on November 21, 2008
at 4:40 PM
Leanderthal……these 2 dear ladies are peers of mine, ( kinda long in the tooth)
No contemporary students, could possibly write with their perspective of age, experience and wisdom! I’ve met some pretty bright youngsters, but their imagination just wouldn’t stretch this far, given that society has COMPLETELY CHANGED in my 7 decades! And I went back to college with them 10 years ago………thanks to SS income I am defaulting on my student loans. ( The lack of imagination, to hire a mature female computer geek, was notable, even if I did teach my Grandchildren and earned the
title “techy Grammy”.)
Grocery stores: where I first noticed something seriously wrong with society about 15 years ago. 80% of my food disappeared from the shelves in favor of things like “blue” energy drinks! Ice cream; used to be smooth and cool and refreshing, and melted in our mouth! Now all the flavors seem to have chunks and bits, cookies, M&Ms, pieces of waffle cones…….. Eating ice cream is as much work as chewing a salad nowadays.
It’s all planned out by the marketing geniuses to appeal to the dumbest among us, who believe everything they see on Tee Vee! They HAVE TO HAVE IT, even at 15% on their credit card.
They change the shape of the containers so you won’t notice that it contains 1 oz less AND raise the price! Yes Hannaford Corp. take up more of my time than the Acme, Food Fair, Pantry Pride used to ……….
I’m grateful I don’t have to go to workj for a Corporation every day!
By: Pat on November 21, 2008
at 4:19 PM
You two are fabulous!
Helen, I totally agree with you. The fact that the oil companies are raking in more money than any company has ever made in the history of civilization while everyone else is screwed, including the people who helped the oil companies, is completely ridiculous.
By: kmcsaks on November 21, 2008
at 1:11 PM
[...] typical, for example, is this passage, where the conversation turns to bail-outs: So many of you kept wanting us to talk about Sarah [...]
By: Are Margaret & Helen for reals? « Funny about Money on November 20, 2008
at 10:13 PM
can i help you slap the crap out of all those americans? please?
By: Lisa on November 20, 2008
at 7:29 PM
I find both the auto industry and grocery stores trying, so I’m with both of you!
By: April on November 20, 2008
at 11:30 AM
The reality which the current mode of national, oil, auto discourse reflects is one of pathological denial. You can take me out and shoot me behind the collective tool shed, but what’s obvious is that the problem is a lifestyle of over-consumption and the inherited structures of entitlement that go with it. Take it from a mechanic, hybrids are just a thing of novelty to entertain a pseudo-environmental continuation of the same problem, the same egomaniacal, autocentric, American culture. We’re already well into the century of oil wars, and yet few people have any fundamental perception between what they pump into the tank and the hundreds of social, political, and environmental consequences that follow from that single act. “Gas” is just the invisible quantity that ticks away on the digital face of the pump, allowing us to pursue our obscure future for just a little while longer, while foregoing any possible thought to the contrary and co-opting the naysayers as bicycle riding fags (a term I prefer not to use, except having been called it many times by Mr. Ford Explosion Compensator 5000). So I guess what I’m saying is car/road culture is where America goes to die. My best wishes to the auto-workers, but the industry is a 20th century dinosaur and a symbol of willful ignorance and mismanagement. Bankruptcy for the Big Three will be the best thing to exorcise the country of archaic sensibilities. Maybe. Big maybe.
By: Jesse on November 19, 2008
at 9:49 PM
[...] Helen rants about the Big Three asking for government assistance: So the oil companies are once again boasting record profits and yet the auto makers are asking for some government cheese. Does anyone else see the irony here? So I’ve got a little trickle down theory of my own. As long as Detroit continues to make cars for the Gas-Capades let the oil companies bail them out. It’s a “robbing Peter to pay Paul” kind of thing except in this case Peter and Paul seem to be riding the short bus… and it’s not to save on gas. [...]
By: No ‘Government Cheese’ for you: Brad Neese: Living Large in Oklahoma on November 19, 2008
at 8:14 PM
“Liberals like Obama want to grow government, limit/control our freedoms, and rewrite the core values that our country was founded on!”
HA! GWB did EXACTLY those three things. How can some people be so blinded? How can they CHOOSE to keep their blinders on???
By: smteaches on November 19, 2008
at 8:05 PM
When I see an entry from Abuck, I scroll down to the next post… sorta like keeping my finger on the “next” button of my remote control to pass the FoxNews channel.
By: Maven on November 19, 2008
at 7:48 PM
[...] Government Cheese of a Different Kind So many of you kept wanting us to talk about Sarah Palin. Sorry, but I have tuned her out. If I want to hear an [...] [...]
By: Top Posts « WordPress.com on November 19, 2008
at 7:29 PM
You ladies are gonna love this:
Elisabeth Hasselbeck ~ Dickipedia Entry
http://dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=Elisabeth_Hasselbeck
By: Whirled Peas on November 19, 2008
at 7:11 PM
hi Margaret,
Assuming you’re reading this… I know you said you’re tired of talking about Caribou Barbie, but I wanted to share a link to a recent column by Dick Cavett, lamenting the butchery of the English language (i.e. hers). Enjoy –
http://cavett.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/14/the-wild-wordsmith-of-wasilla/
Love your blog, keep up the great writing!
(and hi, Helen)
By: mike_from_Calif on November 19, 2008
at 6:13 PM
I think we should ignore Abuck and his ilk, ’cause otherwise, we just encourage them. Like Helen said ‘for heaven’s sake, don’t feed them!’ Look at Palin – the media encourages her, so the rest of us still have to hear about her. She’s so lame.
By: Martha on November 19, 2008
at 5:57 PM
Shades of Herbert Hoover! I was for the $700 billion “bail out” because I was thinking FDR. How could I have been so stupid. If anyone read Paulson’s op-ed in the NYTimes, did you weep like me. So he think’s everythings ok, huh. Well all of us who are watching our savings get wiped, all of us who are losing our jobs don’t think so.
I’m with Helen and Mit Romney. The big 3 are too rotten to the core to save.
Now Margaret, I just have to ask. Would you have felt safer in your nephew’s doodle bug if everyone were driving something that size? I gave my itybity up after the 3rd time I nearly died in it when some bozoo driving his humvee or equivalent hit me from behind going 70mph while I was stopped in traffic on the highway. Said he, not my fault, I was looking at the hubcaps in the median!!! Ha!Ha! And his insurance company tried to tell me it was my fault for driving something so small!!!hahahaha! If everyone was driving a clamshell running on 3 AAA batteries, we’d all be safer. Ooops! Margaret! that wasn’t you in your Town Car that just ran me over, was it?
By: grandmumsey on November 19, 2008
at 4:58 PM
cookingblog,
Who’s minding the store? I posted days ago and am yet to get a response, in fact there have been no recent posts since.
By: Bernice on November 19, 2008
at 4:46 PM
Would they give me money to pay my bills if I went to Washington, DC and begged? I can’t afford to fly, and I don’t think my beater Caravan will get me there. Can’t afford the gas either. Maybe I will hoof it to DC. I could carry a sign that said “Dodge helped me get to where I am today – walking”
By: troutay on November 19, 2008
at 4:43 PM
Those bozos flew in to DC on private jets to beg for money. I work as an assistant to a CEO. A private flight is at least 15K – typically more. Even a first class ticket is more reasonable – maybe $1500. Coach is $300. I just spent 1/2 an hour trying to save $100 on a business flight for myself, because money is tight here as it is everywhere. I say we let the free market fix the auto industry. Toyota, Honda and other foreign makers build cars here, great cars, that give Americans jobs, and they don’t need handouts. Let Ford, GM, and Chrysler figure this out themselves. I’m running short on cash and a bit heavier in debt than I’d like. Do I qualify for a government handout? NO.
By: Trish on November 19, 2008
at 4:07 PM
Judy in CA “But on thinking about it a little more, it seems to me that if that happened, the auto makers would be in the pockets of the oil companies and would only continue to produce vehicles that would guzzle even more gasoline in order for the oil companies to continue making more and more money.”
They are there now – the only difference then would be it would be acknowledged. Better than chicken little aka the sky is falling crying wolf ad nauseum. The problem with bailing them out is they are not going to change they are going to continue business as usual which is why they are in the mess they are in.
By: SMH on November 19, 2008
at 3:50 PM
@ skyewriter – I’ll be glad to talk you down anytime! Please do the same for me – I sometimes succumb to the temptation to engage in a battle of wits with unarmed asshats!
I love this community!
By: Archangel Gabrielle on November 19, 2008
at 3:00 PM
Thanks for the suggestions on Oil and Auto makers. Too bad it will never happen. Greed will prevail.
Another point of interest Sen. McCain had a wonderful solution to our healthcare problems. Everyone take your pittance and try and strike a deal with the insurance companies. Talk about giving the fox the rule of the hen house!! So now I’m hearing doctors complaining that insurance companies aren’t paying them for services rendered or have deferred payment till just after infinity. What an interesting turn. Now if you think this is interesting just wait till we see the rest of the insurance industry lined up behind the auto makers to get their government hand outs. All under the guise that they can’t pay for coverage because their steady stream of revenue from companies is starting to dwindle. Bonuses are still getting paid. Remember no matter how many Christmas cards or birthday cards Banks and Insurance companies send you, they are in business for one reason only and that is to make money, lots of it.
By: CHI-man on November 19, 2008
at 2:55 PM