So Elisabeth Hasselbeck is not my favorite person. I would call her a bitch but that word is too good for her. She is such a moron. Pretty much everybody with more than a pre-school education realizes that the war in Iraq was a mistake. I mean if you ask Hasselbeck’s daughter what she thinks of the war in Iraq she probably would say something along the lines of a mistake by the Bush administration of monumental proportions which my generation will be paying for years from now. But she is only three so “monumental proportions” might be a mouthful. Now ask her mother that same question and you get some rant about how the terrorists are going to get us if we don’t get them first.  I guess you’ve got to keep those pro-war fans happy so The View keeps its ratings up even if a few soldiers are dying needlessly.Â
It must be hard to be both pro-war and pro-life at the same time and still look so perky that early in the morning. It’s as if she doesn’t lose a wink of sleep over it. What a brave little soldier she is.   You know I just wish the hell that Whoopi, Joy, that other one, or even Barbara would just haul off and whack her upside the head. I mean if The View were an island, those women surely would have voted Hasselbeck off by now. So tell us Elisabeth, just how many rats does one eat for fame before they ask themselves if it’s worth it?Â
And that brings me to something of real importance.  Now stay with with me here for just a minute because it will seem trivial at first.  This weekend Elisabeth introduced Miss Alaska to a crowd of pro-America Americans down in Florida and both women took time to whine about the attention the press has been giving to the $150,000 wardrobe. “These clothes, they are not my property,” cried Palin.
OK. I get it. All the world is looking at you right now and you need to look your best. It’s unfortunate but true that many in America do judge a book by its cover so things like a $150,000 makeover can actually be justified in my book.  Had you given your speech in one of your hunting outfits we would have surely laughed you all the way back to the Wasilla Moose Lodge from whence you came. But the problem, Governor Palin, is that you ate the rat. And I am not talking about the clothes.Â
Your first big policy speech was all about support for families of special needs children but as Governor when you had that chance you actually decreased support for those same children.
Lately you have been screaming about that socialist Obama and his tax and spend, tax and spend, tax and spend (repeat until audience members scream “kill him” or the moose come home)… And yet while you were Mayor of Wasilla government spending went up and so did the sales tax. Hmmm.  Maybe you should have a heart to heart with Joe the Plumber.
You claimed to have sold that jet on Ebay when, in fact, that jet didn’t actually sell on Ebay. But hey. I get it. It sounds good in a speech.
I’m not sure, but I bet if I did enough research I’d come across some PTA minutes where you championed abstinence only sex education at your children’s school. Ouch. That has to hurt in hindsight.
You claim that as Governor of Alaska you told Congress “no thanks” to that bridge to nowhere, but Congress had already said never mind to that bridge before you were elected governor. Again, it really did sound great in the speech though so I understand.
But here is what I don’t understand. As Mayor of Wasilla you thought it appropriate to charge rape victims for the rape kit used to collect evidence needed to convict the rapist. What in God’s name were you thinking? I mean that is a huge rat to have eaten all at once.   But I shouldn’t be surprised really, considering you also think a child raped by her father should be forced to carry the pregnancy to term.
You see, Governor Palin, you might finally be dressing like a Republican politician, but you’ve been acting like one for years.Â
I guess I really should have written something about the top of the ticket. After all we are not electing Sarah Palin to become President.  She is just the runner up. Of course if something should happen to the winner that would prevent him from fulfilling his duties… well there is a thought to keep you up at night. So here is what I decided to write about the top of the ticket:
John McCain is an ass of monumental proportions.
Thanks for stopping by everyone. Margaret and I appreciate it. Really.
You have a way with words, Helen…nice. I think The View producers only keep her around because she’s more than willing to demonstrate just how ignorant right winged conservatives are. She is everything I DON’T want to be, and the foolish little girl just keeps dishing it out, day after day. It’s quite pathetic, really….maybe someone should stick a soother in her mouth to keep her pacified.
By: Bev on July 21, 2010
at 4:49 AM
dsfsdfs67877 test test
By: 9ihvrc on June 11, 2009
at 11:45 AM
49945878301c9f4b4251ebe91621e990 29845-d14048ee72423d3a5db26d5dd04f955a
By: kcgfk1 on May 19, 2009
at 12:14 AM
I love, love, love the way you think Helen! I think you may be my long lost Grandmother! I have a blog too, please visit at Keywestfinest.com . I didn’t get to blogging about Elizabeth Hasslebitch but I love what you wrote! I will use you as inspiration! If you ever come to Key West we’ll have tea and vistit the Hemmingway House! Keep speaking your truth, I am hearing you loud and clear!
Amber DeBevec
Key West
By: Amber on November 8, 2008
at 12:15 PM
I agree Elisabeth is a twit but I don’t think anyone can be more annoying that Whoopie – she doesn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise. I would really like it if they would replace Elisabeth with another conservative voice. I disagree with a lot of her positions, but I think Whoopie and Joy are wayyy too far left.
By: chefsquire on November 8, 2008
at 2:28 AM
Helen you are so right about McCain! Only an ass would hire the firm of Snide, Snear, Smear and Fear to run his campaign. He did that because he figured no African-American, if nominated, would ever get elected. He picked Palin for the same reason – totally underestimating Obama – not because she had anything to bring to the ticket. Well, this kind of mindset is what keeps old dogs from learning new tricks even when their lives are at stake!
I stood in line half an hour yesterday in the elementary school my children attended years ago. It is now much, much larger with new stuff added to the historic part. We were not allowed to stand out in the rain but taken inside to a line that ran through all the corridors of the school (its on one level) to get to the voting hall. The folks in line were very respectiful, as if they were going in to see someone they admired rather than push a button, and very courteous to each other. Three young African American women who were voting for the first time had a throw away camera with them and while they were in the corridor another man in line offered to take their picture which will no doubt go into an album with the cap line of, “Us, on our way to vote for Obama”. Once in the voting hall there were more than enough people and voting machines of two types. I was in and out in no time on an action that decided the fate of my country.
A few words spring to mind and they can stand on their own “then sings my soul…”
God bless you Helen and Margaret!
Yes, we did it!
By: Mageen on November 5, 2008
at 9:24 AM
You are preaching to the choir about Elizabitch. I couldn’t figure out how she lasted this long on The View because she’s a knucklehead. I think I figured it out. Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin are easy on the eyes. These three broads LOOK GOOD & they spout the same bullshit that the good ole boys spew! These three broads give the good ole boys woodies and they know it! The Viewmaster, Bill Geddes, is one of those good ole boys and THAT’S WHY Elizabitch is still employed. By the way, Helen, I haven’t watched a full episode of the View since Rosie left, but I do watch clips of it on youtube. I just can’t bear to hear Elizabitch, her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I mean it, really.
By: Linda on November 4, 2008
at 4:59 AM
[...] Okay guys – I just followed this link from another site and had to share. Enjoy Elisabeth is a moron and then I have something important to say « Margaret and Helen That was a hoot! Loved the website too. I think I’ll be reading more of Margaret and Helen. [...]
By: The View - Page 538 - Fans Of Reality TV on November 2, 2008
at 6:48 AM
Can someone explain to me how Hasselcrack went from game show contestant to flapping her idiotic gums on a talk show? And how that qualifies her as a political expert?
By: RubyTopaz on November 1, 2008
at 6:32 PM
Thank goodness someone finally called Hasselbeck out! I’ve been screaming “Moron” at the TV for a couple of years now! Go Helen!
By: Kim on November 1, 2008
at 6:10 PM
Hi! Just found your blog! I’ve been complaining about Hasselback on my blog as well. But you have an audience:)
Did you catch the ET interview with Palin tonight? Where she said the $150k worth of clothes aren’t her and then gestured to her off-stage clothing and said ‘this is the real me’ to which the only thing I could think was ‘so she’s not real on stage?’
And puh-leeze we all know she’s going to keep those clothes. Particularly if M-P win the Whitehouse (God forbid).
Cheers
M
By: MRasey on October 30, 2008
at 7:32 PM
Helen: Great posting and so glad to have been told about this site. Elizabeth is an idiot…her morning repeat of whatever the day before rant was on Fox is beyond tiresome.
and Sarah may be the runner-up, but it seems the media wants to give her Miss Congeniality. the scary part is she does not plan on going away…I can only hope that means she is getting her own show on Fox.
By: pc23 on October 30, 2008
at 7:12 PM
Helen, you’re my new hero!!
By: Myra on October 30, 2008
at 5:26 PM
Dusty,
Someone ought to clue you in that calling other women vulgar names is not cool. It is sexism. And, yes, women can be sexist. A twenty-something guy pretending to be feisty old ladies can be and in this case, is sexist too. I bet you’d be one of the first to jump up and scream racism if a pejorative term was used for a black Obama supporter.
Grow up and learn to discuss your political beliefs with civility. C i v i l i t y — look it up.
By: indie in CA on October 30, 2008
at 3:08 PM
I think it is great we know all the dirt on SP before she can get in office. But IF she got in office I wonder what more we would find? Chasing the SS men? Hunting on the WH lawn? Shoplifting at the nearest Goodwill store? This could get very scary.
Vie
By: Vie on October 30, 2008
at 2:20 PM
I’m also hooked to your BLOG…One smart lady!
By: Suzanne on October 30, 2008
at 2:19 PM
It’s not sexism, indie in CA, but folks sure love to jump on that bandwagon!
Grow up, real sexism still exists and this ain’t it. Figure it out.
By: Dusty on October 30, 2008
at 1:18 PM
I agree with your disdain for some of the policies and positions both Governor Palin and Hasselbeck favor, but I find your name calling and advocacy of head smacking (violence) disgusting and immature.
Sexism sucks…especially from so-called progressives.
By: indie in CA on October 30, 2008
at 11:35 AM
Helen, have you forgotten to take your meds. Replace Elisabeth????With who????Bring back crotch grabbing Rosie O??How about Keith Oberscum or Chris( tingly feeling up my leg) Mathews… Look what two years of a DEM Congress has done to us…four more and a Dow at 107. The only one with a worse poll than Bush is the Dem led Congress.
By: UAW Tradesman on October 30, 2008
at 10:05 AM