As punishment for attending or sending your children to attend some odd little college is some odd little town in the middle of nowhere, you have to come to our house for thanksgiving. We are conveniently located just a few miles from a great university located in the capital city of.
Hey, I didn’t make the maps. It seems that college station is closer to my house than maw maw and paw paw’s house, so dinner is here. Sarah already has her outfit(s).
Harold and I want you to know that the house is really not new to us anymore so we plan to “chill” compared to the last time all 200 of you stopped by. Big Red, however, is still not allowed. Everything else is open for negotiation. Except Sylvia. Sylvia is definitely not allowed. And Brian. Sylvia and Brian are definitely not allowed. And dogs that pee on furniture or carpet. Sylvia, Brian and dogs with weak bladders. And Uncle Harvey.
Oh and also, it should be pointed out that Mary is as big as a house, so she needs to stay outside, but don’t say anything to her about her enormous girth as Trudy says it makes her very bitchy…Mary bitchy not Trudy…well then again…
Also, don’t ask Sarah about her goldfish as we haven’t told her yet that I accidentally killed all of them last week. She hasn’t noticed yet…a testament to her ability to love something without actually caring if it even exists anymore.
If you want to bring something, please bring little nibbly things that don’t need to be cooked. I will have all the cooking equipment in use to make turkey, ham, yams, corn, potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, peas, salad, gravy, and rolls.
Might I suggest we start a new tradition of bringing appetizers so that we are happily stuffed before we even begin the meal. Cheese, crackers, dips, spreads, chips, un-cooked meat stuff from little towns near castroville, cookies, pies, assorted nuts, etc. Also, bring your favorite beer. Alternatively bring $20 and buy your way out of doing anything at all taking the
very good chance that I will already have it in stock anyway.
We have three beds and a lot of floorspace. First come, first served.
See you soon.